“We have over four thousand acres each of irrigated land, dry land, and orchards on hillsides,” she continued, “as well as over a thousand head of oxen and water buffalo, herds of mules and horses, and more pigs and sheep than you could count. There are sixty or seventy farm buildings and barns. We have more grain in the house than we could eat in eight or nine years, and more than enough silk to clothe us for a decade-to say nothing of more gold and silver than you could spend in a lifetime. You'll be even better off than those ancients who 'stored spring behind brocade curtains' and kept girls whose 'hair was heavy with golden pins'. If you and your disciples are prepared to change your minds and live in this house as our husbands, you can enjoy wealth and ease. Wouldn't that be better than a difficult journey to the West?” Sanzang sat there silent, as if he were an imbecile.
“I was born at the hour you of the third day of the third month of the year dinghai, ”she continued. “My late husband was three years older than me, and I am now forty-four. My eldest daughter, Zhenzhen, is nineteen; my second, Aiai is seventeen; and Lianlian, the youngest, is fifteen. None of them have been betrothed. Although I am rather ugly myself, the girls are all quite good-looking, and they have all the feminine accomplishments. As my late husband had no sons, he gave them a boy's education, teaching them to read the Confucian classics from an early age and training them to recite poems and make couplets. Although they live in this mountain farmhouse you couldn't consider them boorish, and I think that they would be good partners for all you reverend gentlemen. If you are willing to broaden your outlook and let your hair grow, you could be head of the family and wear silks and brocades. Wouldn't that be far better than your earthenware begging-bowl, rough clothes, straw sandals, and rain-hats?”
Sanzang sat in the place of honour as still as a child terrified by thunder or a toad soaked in a rainstorm. He seemed to be in a trance as he leant back with his eyes turned up towards the sky. Pig, however, felt an itch in his mind that was hard to scratch when he heard about all this wealth and beauty. He fidgeted on his chair as if needles were being stuck into his backside, and finally could bear it no longer.
He went up to his master, tugged at his clothes, and said, “Master, why are you paying no attention to what the lady is saying? You really ought to take some notice.” Sanzang glared at him angrily, made a furious noise, and shouted at him to go away.
“Evil beast,” he said, “We are men of religion. It's disgraceful to allow yourself to be moved by the thought of wealth, honour or sex.”
“Poor, poor things,” said the woman with a smile. “What good can there be in being men of religion?”
“What good can there be in being of the world, Bodhisattva?” Sanzang replied.
“Please sit down, reverend sir, while I tell you about the advantages of being in the world,” she said. “There is a poem to describe them that goes:
In spring we cut out linked diamond patterns and wear new silk;
In summer we change to light gauze and admire the lotus;
In autumn comes meat and delicious rice-wine,
In winter the house is warm, and our faces are red with drink.
We have all that's needed in the four seasons,
The treasures and delicacies of the whole year.
Brocade clothes, silken sheets and a wedding night
Are better than plodding along and worshipping Maitreya.”
“Bodhisattva,” said Sanzang, “it is, of course, very good to enjoy wealth and honour with plenty of food and clothes and a family. But what you don't realize is that the religious life has advantages, which are described in this poem:
It is no light matter to decide to enter religion:
You have to demolish the love and gratitude you felt before.
Externals are created no longer, and your mouth is tightly shut.
Negative and positive exist within your body.
When all has been achieved, you face the golden gates;
See your nature, clarify your mind, and return home.
This is better than staying in the world to be greedy for blood and food
While your stinking flesh grows aged and decrepit.”
“You insolent monk,” the woman said in great anger. “If it weren't for the fact that you've come a long, long way from the East. I'd drive you out of my house. I invite you four with all sincerity to marry us and enjoy our wealth, and you repay my kindness with insults. If you have accepted the prohibitions and made your vows, you could at least let me have one of your underlings as a son-in-law. Why are you being such a stickler for the rules?”
As she had lost her temper, Sanzang had to soothe her, so he said, “Monkey, you stay here.”
“I've never been able to do that sort of thing,” Monkey replied.
“Why not let Pig stay?”
“Stop teasing, elder brother,” Pig said. “We should all decide what's the best thing to do.”
“If neither of you will stay, I must ask Friar Sand to stay,” said Sanzang; but Friar Sand replied, “What a thing to say, master. I was converted by the Bodhisattva, agreed to obey the prohibitions, and waited till you came, and since taking me as your disciple you've taught me more. I haven't been with you for two months yet, and I've had no time to win any merit at all. How could I possibly want wealth and position? I want to go to the Western Heaven even if it costs me my life, and I'm certainly not going to frustrate my hopes by doing that.” In the face of their refusals the woman turned round, went out through the door leading to the back of the house, and slammed it behind her, leaving master and disciples outside with neither food nor tea. Nobody else came out to see them.
“That's not the way to handle things, master,” grumbled an angry Pig. “You should have been more flexible and given her some noncommittal answer, then you'd have got some food out of her. That way we'd have eaten well tonight, but would still have been able to refuse to marry them in the morning. We're going to have a lousy night with nothing to eat if that inside door is shut and nobody comes out to us.”
“Brother Pig, you should stay here and marry one of the girls,” said Friar Sand.
“Lay off me,” Pig replied. “We must decide what's the best thing to do.”
“Why bother?” said Monkey. “If you want to marry one of them, you'll make our master and the woman in-laws, and you can be a husband living with his in-laws. A family as rich as this is bound to give a good dowry, as well as a feast for relations which will do us all a bit of good. So it's in all our interests for you to return to worldly life here.”
“It sounds all right,” said Pig, “but it would mean going back to the world after leaving it, and marrying again after ending another marriage.”
“Did you have a wife before, then?” asked Friar Sand.
“So you still don't know,” said Monkey, “that he used to be the son-in-law of Squire Gao in Gao Village in the land of Stubet. After I defeated him and the Bodhisattva converted him and made him promise to observe the prohibitions, we managed to force him to become a monk. So he left his wife and joined our master for the journey to the Buddha in the West. I think that now he's been away from her for so long he's remembering all that business again. When he heard this woman's offer, it revived his old ideas. Blockhead,” he continued, addressing Pig, “marry into this family as a son-in-law. I won't report on you provided you bow to me a few times.”
“Nonsense, Nonsense,” said Pig. “You've all been thinking the same thoughts, but you pick on me to make an exhibition of. It's always said that 'a monk among pretty women is a hungry ghost,' and that goes for all of us. But by acting so high and mighty you've ruined our chances of doing well here. We haven't cast our eyes on so much as a cup of tea, and there isn't even anyone to light the lamps for us. We may be able to stick it out for a night, but that horse will have to carry our master again tomorrow, and if he gets nothing to eat all night he'll collapse. You lot sit here while I take him out for a feed.” He untied the animal and dragged it out in a great hurry, at which Monkey said, “Friar Sand, you sit here with the master while I follow him and see where he pastures that horse.”