Little did he expect that the sharp-eyed Monkey would see him from his high throne and say, “There's a foreigner bowing all wrong among the ranks. Where's he from? Bring him here.” The words were hardly out of his mouth before some junior monkeys swarmed round him, shoved him forward, and threw him to the ground. “Where are you from, foreigner?” asked Monkey.
“If I may be permitted to argue,” replied Pig, his head bowed, “I'm no foreigner, I'm an old friend of yours.”
“All my monkey hordes look exactly the same,” replied the Great Sage, “but from the look of your stupid face you must be an evil demon from somewhere else. Never mind though. If, as an outsider, you want to join my ranks you must first hand in a curriculum vitae and tell us your name before we can put you on the books. If I don't take you on, you've no business to be bowing to me like a madman.”
Pig put his arms round his head, which he still kept low, and replied, “I'm sorry. It's an ugly mug. But you and I were brothers for several years; you can't pretend not to recognize me and say that I'm a foreigner.”
“Raise your head,” said Monkey.
The idiot did so and said, “Look, even if you won't recognize the rest of me, you'll remember my face.”
“Pig!” said Monkey with a smile. When Pig heard this he leapt to his feet and said, “Yes, yes. I'm Pig,” thinking that Monkey would be easier to deal with now he had recognized him.
“Why have you come here instead of going to fetch the scriptures with the Tang Priest?” Monkey asked. “Have you offended the master and been sent back too? Show me your letter of dismissal.”
“I haven't offended him,” Pig replied. “He hasn't given me a letter of dismissal, or driven me away.”
“Then why have you come here?” asked Monkey. “The master sent me here to ask you back as he's missing you,” answered Pig. “He hasn't asked me back,” said Monkey, “and he doesn't miss me. He swore an oath by Heaven and wrote a letter of dismissal, so he couldn't possibly miss me or have sent you all this way to ask me back. It certainly wouldn't be right for me to go.”
“He's really missing you,” said Pig, lying desperately, “he really is.”
“Why?” asked Monkey.
“He called out 'disciple' when he was riding along. I didn't hear, and Friar Sand is deaf, so he started missing you and saying that we two were hopeless. He said that you were intelligent and clever, and that you always answered whenever he called. This made him miss you so badly that he sent me over here specially to ask you to come back. Please, please come back with me. You'll save him from disappointment and me from a long, wasted journey.”
Monkey jumped down from his rock, lifted Pig to his feet, and said, “Dear brother, it's been good of you to come so far. Won't you come and take a look round with me?”
“It's been a long journey,” replied Pig, “and I'm afraid that the master would miss me, so I'd better not.”
“Now that you're here,” said Monkey, “you really should have a look at my mountain.” Not wanting to insist too hard, the idiot went off with him.
The two of them walked hand in hand with the monkey horde following behind as they climbed to the summit of the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit. It was a beautiful mountain. In the few days since he had been back, Monkey had made it as neat as it ever had been.
It was as green as flakes of malachite,
So high it touched the clouds.
All around it tigers crouched and dragons coiled,
Amid the calls of apes and cranes.
In the morning the peak was covered with cloud,
The evening sun would set between the trees.
The streams splashed like a tinkle of jade,
Waterfalls tumbled with the sound of lutes.
In the front of the mountain were cliffs and rock-faces
At the back were luxuriant plants and trees.
Above it reached to the Jade Girl's washing bowl,
Below it jointed the watershed of the River of Heaven.
In its combination of Earth and Heaven it rivaled the Penglai paradise;
Its blend of pure and solid made it a true cave palace.
It defied a painter's brush and colours;
Even a master could not have drawn it.
Intricate were the strange-shaped boulders,
Adorning the mountain peak.
In the sun's shadow shimmered a purple light;
A magical glow shone red throughout the sea of clouds.
Cave-heavens and paradises do exist on Earth,
Where the whole mountainside is covered with fresh trees and new blossoms.
As Pig gazed at it he said with delight, “What a wonderful place, brother. It's the finest mountain in the world.”
“Could you get by here?” asked Monkey.
“What a question,” said Pig with a grin. “This mountain of yours is an earthly paradise, so how could you talk about 'getting by?'”
The two talked and joked for a while then went back down. They saw some young monkeys kneeling beside the path and holding huge, purple grapes, fragrant dates and pears, deep golden loquats, and rich, red tree-strawberries.
“Please take some breakfast, Your Majesty,” they said.
“Brother Pig,” replied Monkey with a smile, “Your big appetite won't be satisfied with fruit. Never mind though-if you don't think it too poor you can eat a little as a snack.”
“Although I do have a big appetite,” said Pig, “I always eat the local food. Bring me a few to taste.”
As the pair of them ate the fruit the sun was rising, which made the idiot worry that he might be too late to save the Tang Priest. “Brother,” he said, trying to hurry Monkey up, “the master is waiting for us. He wants us back as soon as possible.”
“Come and look round the Water Curtain Cave,” was Monkey's reply.
“It's very good of you to offer,” said Pig, “but I mustn't keep the master waiting, so I'm afraid I can't visit the cave.”
“Then I won't waste your time,” said Monkey. “Goodbye.”
“Aren't you coming?” Pig asked.
“Where to?” Monkey replied. “There's nobody to interfere with me here and I'm free to do just as I like. Why should I stop having fun and be a monk? I'm not going. You can go and tell the Tang Priest that as he's driven me away he can just I forget about me.” The idiot did not dare press Monkey harder in case he lost his temper and hit him a couple of blows with his cudgel. All he could do was mumble a farewell and be on his way.
As Monkey watched him go he detailed two stealthy young monkeys to follow him and listen to anything he said. The idiot had gone hardly a mile down the mountainside when he turned round, pointed towards Monkey, and started to abuse him.
“That ape,” he said, “he'd rather be a monster than a monk. The baboon. I asked him in all good faith and he turned me down. Well, if you won't come, that's that.” Every few paces he cursed him some more. The two young monkeys rushed back to report, “Your Majesty, that Pig is a disgrace. He's walking along cursing you.”
“Arrest him,” shouted Monkey in a fury. The monkey hordes went after Pig, caught him, turned him upside-down, grabbed his bristles, pulled his ears, tugged his tail, twisted his hair, and thus brought him back. If you don't know how he was dealt with or whether he survived, listen to the explanation in the next installment.
Chapter 31
Pig Moves the Monkey King Through
His Goodness
Sun the Novice Subdues the Ogre Through Cunning
They swore to become brothers,
And the dharma brought them back to their true nature.
When metal and Wood were tamed, the True Result could be achieved;
The Mind-Ape and the Mother of Wood combined to make the elixir.