As I really do have magic powers,
I was not in the slightest bit afraid.
They took me to Lao Zi's furnace to be refined.
The Six Dings roasted me slowly with divine fire.
When the time was up and the furnace opened, out I jumped,
And rushed round Heaven, my cudgel in my hand.
No one could stop me making trouble everywhere,
And I caused chaos in the thirty-three Heavens.
Then our Tathagata Buddha used his Dharma power
And dropped the Five Elements Mountain on my back.
There I was crushed for full five hundred years,
Until Sanzang came from the land of Tang.
Now I have reformed and am going to the West
To climb the Thunder Peak and see the Buddha.
Enquire throughout the Four Seas, Heaven and Earth:
You'll find that I'm the greatest monster ever.
On hearing this the fiend laughed and said, “So you're the Protector of the Horses who wrecked Heaven, are you?”
Monkey, who got angrier at being addressed by this title than at anything else, was furious. “You vicious monster. You steal the cassock and refuse to give it back, and on top of that you insult your lord and master. Just hold it, and see how you like my club.” The dark fellow dodged the blow and then riposted with his spear. The pair of them fought a fine battle.
An As-You-Will cudgel,
A black-tasseled spear,
And two men showing their toughness at the mouth of a cave.
One stabs at heart and face,
The other tries for arm and head.
This one strikes cunning sideswipes with a club,
That one brandishes his spear in three swift movements.
The white tiger climbs the mountain to sink in his claws;
The yellow dragon lying on the road turns round fast.
Snorting out coloured mists,
Disgorging rays of light,
The two immortal fiends are hard to choose between:
One is the Sage Equaling Heaven who has cultivated the truth;
The other is the Great Black King become a spirit.
On this battlefield in the mountains
The pair of them fight for the cassock.
The fiend fought some ten inconclusive rounds with Monkey, and as the sun was now rising steadily towards the zenith, the dark fellow raised his halberd to block the iron cudgel and said, “Brother Monkey, let's lay down our arms. I'll come back and fight you again after I've eaten.”
“You accursed beast,” Monkey replied, “how can you call yourself a real man? If you were, you wouldn't be needing to eat after only half a day. I never even tasted water once in those five hundred years I spent under the mountain, but I wasn't hungry. Stop making excuses, and don't go. I'll let you have your meal if you give me back my cassock.” The fiend waved his halberd in a feint, withdrew into the cave, and shut the doors fast behind him. Summoning his junior goblins, he ordered that a banquet be spread and wrote invitations asking all the devil kings of the mountain to come to the celebratory feast.
Monkey charged the gates but was unable to force them open, so he had to go back to the Guanyin Monastery, where the monks had buried the old patriarch and were now all in attendance on the Tang Priest in the abbot's quarters. Breakfast was over, and lunch was being brought in. Just as they were bringing soup and more hot water, Monkey descended from the sky. The monks all bowed low and took him into the abbot's room to see Sanzang.
“Ah, you're back, Wukong,” he said. “What about the cassock?”
“I've found the answer. We misjudged these monks. It was in fact stolen by a fiend from the Black Wind Mountain. I went to have a quiet look for him and found him sitting in front of grassy slope talking to a white-gowned scholar and an old Taoist. He's a self-confessed monster, and he said with his own mouth that he was inviting all the evil spirits to come and celebrate his birthday tomorrow, and that as he had come by a brocade Buddha's robe last night he wanted to celebrate that too, so he was going to give a great feast that he called an 'Assembly for the Celebration and Admiration of the Buddha's Robe'. I rushed him and took a swipe at him with my club, but the dark fellow turned into a puff of wind and fled. The Taoist disappeared too, and I was only able to kill the white-clad scholar, who was a white snake turned spirit. I went to the mouth of his cave as fast as I could and told him to come out and fight me. He admitted that he had carried it off. We fought for half a day without either of us winning, and then the monster went back to his cave for lunch and shut the stone gates behind him. He was too scared to come out again, so I came back to give you this news, master. Now we know where the cassock is, there's no need to worry that he won't give it back.”
On hearing this, the monks put their hands together or kowtowed as they invoked Amitabha Buddha and exclaimed, “He's found where it is-we're saved.”
“Don't be so happy about it,” Monkey warned, “I haven't got it yet, and my master hasn't left your monastery yet. You'll have to wait till I've recovered the cassock and my master has been seen off properly from here before you can consider yourselves safe. And if there is the slightest mistake, remember that I'm a very quick-tempered boss. Have you given my master the best food and tea? Have you given my horse the best fodder?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” the monks hastened to assure him. “We haven't been remiss in any way while looking after his Reverence.”
“While you were away all morning I've drunk tea three times and eaten twice, and they have not been at all offhand with me,” Sanzang explained. “You'd better go back and do everything possible to recover that cassock.”
“Don't be in such a hurry,” Monkey replied. “I know where it is, and I guarantee that I'll capture this wretch and return the cassock to you. There's no need to worry.”
As he was talking the senior abbot came in, set out the vegetarian meal, and invited Lord Monkey to eat. After swallowing a few mouthfuls Monkey mounted his magic cloud once more and went off on his hunt. On his way he saw a junior goblin going along the main path with a rosewood box under his left arm. Guessing that there must be some kind of letter in the box Monkey raised his cudgel and brought it down on his head. The blow did not just kill the goblin: it left him looking like a hamburger. Throwing his remains aside, Brother Monkey wrenched open the box and saw that it contained an invitation:
Your pupil Bear presents his humble greetings to Your Excellency, the Supreme and Venerable One of the Golden Pooclass="underline"
I am deeply grateful for the magnificent kindness that I have so frequently received from you. When I saw the fire last night I failed to put it out, but I am sure that your divine intelligence will have suffered no harm from it. As your pupil has been lucky enough to obtain a Buddha's robe, I am giving a banquet, to which I hope you will come to appreciate the robe. I would be profoundly grateful if you would honour me with your presence at the appointed time. Written two days beforehand.
On reading this, Monkey roared with laughter and said, “That crooked old monk. He thoroughly deserved to be killed. He'd been ganging up with evil spirits, had he? It's odd that he should have lived to be two hundred and seventy. I suppose that evil spirit must have taught him a few tricks about controlling his vital essence, which was why he lived so long. I can remember what he looked like, so I think I'll make myself look like him and go into that cave. This way I can see where he's put that cassock, and if I'm lucky I'll be able to get back and save a lot of trouble.
The splendid Great Sage recited a spell, faced the wind, and made himself look just like the old monk. He hid his cudgel, walked straight to the entrance of the cave, and shouted, “Open up.”
The junior goblin opened up, and as soon as he saw him he rushed back to report, “Your Majesty, the Elder of the Golden Pool is here.” The monster was astounded.