But at high noon the minister
Slept, and in a dream cut off the dragon's head.”
On hearing this the king groaned and asked, “Master of the Law, which country did that wise minister come from?”
“He was our emperor's prime minister Wei Zheng, astrologer, geographer, master of the Yin and Yang, and one of the great founders and stabilizers of our state,” Sanzang explained. “Because he beheaded the Dragon King of the Jing River in his dream, the dragon brought a case in the Underworld against our emperor for having him decapitated after granting a pardon. The emperor became very ill and his condition was critical. Wei Zhang wrote him a letter to take to the Underworld and give to Cui Jue, the judge of Fengdu. Soon after that the emperor died, only to come back to life on the third day. It was thanks to Wei Zheng that Judge Cui was persuaded to alter a document and give His Majesty an extra twenty years of life. He held a great Land and Water Mass and dispatched me on this long journey to visit many lands, worship the Buddha and fetch the Three Stores of Mahayana scriptures that will raise all the sufferers from evil up to Heaven.”
At this the king groaned and sighed again. “Yours is indeed a heavenly dynasty and a great nation,” he said, “with a just ruler and wise ministers. We have long been ill, but not one minister do we have who will save us.” On hearing this the venerable elder stole a glance at the king and saw that his face was sallow and emaciated; his appearance was going to pieces and his spirits were very low. The venerable elder was going to ask him some questions when an official of the department of Foreign relations came to invite the Tang Priest to eat. The king ordered that his food should be set out with Sanzang's in the Hall of Fragrance so that he could eat with the Master of the Law. Thanking the king for his kindness Sanzang took his meal with him.
Meanwhile, back in the Hostel of Meeting, Brother Monkey told Friar Sand to prepare the tea, the grain and the vegetarian dishes. “There's no problem about the tea and the rice,” Friar Sand said, “but the vegetable dishes will be difficult.”
“Why?” Monkey asked.
“There's no oil, salt, soya sauce or vinegar,” Friar Sand replied.
“I've got a few coins here,” Monkey said, “so we can send Pig out to buy them.”
“I wouldn't dare,” said the idiot, who was feeling too lazy to go. “My ugly mug could cause trouble, and then the master would blame me.”
“If you buy the stuff at a fair price and don't try to get it by asking for alms or theft there couldn't possibly by any trouble,” said Brother Monkey.
“Didn't you see the commotion just now?” asked Pig. “I only showed my snout outside the gate and about a dozen of them collapsed with fright. Goodness only knows how many I'd scare to death in a busy shopping street.”
“Well,” said Monkey, “as you know so much about the busy shopping streets did you notice what was being sold in them?”
“No,” said Pig. “The master told me to keep my head down and cause no trouble. Honest, I didn't see anything.”
“I won't need to tell you about the bars, grain merchants, mills, silk shops and grocers,” said Monkey. “But there are marvellous teahouses and noodle shops selling big sesame buns and steamed bread. You can buy terrific soup, rice, spices and vegetables in the restaurants. Then there are all the exotic cakes, yogurts, snacks, rolls, fries, and honey sweets. Any number of goodies. Shall I go out and buy you some?”
This description had the idiot drooling; the saliva gurgled in his throat. “Brother,” he said, jumping to his feet, “I'll let you pay this time. Next time I'm in the money I'll treat you.”
“Friar Sand,” said Monkey, hiding his amusement, “cook the rice while I go out to buy some other ingredients.”
Realizing that Monkey was only fooling the idiot, Friar Sand agreed. “Off you go,” he said. “Buy plenty and have a good feed.” Grabbing a bowl and a dish the idiot went out with Monkey.
“Where are you reverend gentlemen going?” two officials asked him.
“To buy some groceries,” Monkey replied.
“Go West along this street, turn at the drum tower, and you'll be at Zheng's grocery,” they said. “You can buy as much oil, salt, soya sauce, vinegar, ginger, pepper and tea as you like there: they've got them all.”
The two of them headed West along the road hand in hand. Monkey went past several teahouses and restaurants but did not buy any of the things on sale or eat any of the food. “Brother,” called Pig, “why don't we make do with what we can buy here?” This was the last thing that Monkey, who had only been fooling him, intended to do.
“My dear brother,” he said, “you don't know how to get a good bargain. If we go a little further you can choose bigger ones.” As the two of them were talking a lot of people followed jostling behind them. Before long they reached the drum tower, where a huge and noisy crowd was pushing and shoving and filling the whole road.
“I'm not going any further, brother,” said Pig when he saw this. “From the way they're shouting they sound as though they're out to catch monks. And we're suspicious-looking strangers. What'll we do if they arrest us?”
“Stop talking such nonsense,” said Monkey. “We monks haven't broken the law, so monk-catchers would have no reason to arrest us. Let's carry on and buy the ingredients we need at Zheng's.”
“No,” said Pig, “never. I'm not going to ask for trouble. If I try to squeeze through that crowd and my ears get pulled out to their full length they'll collapse with fright. Several of them might get trampled to death, and it would cost me my life.”
“Very well then,” said Monkey. “You stand at the foot of this wall while I go and buy the things. I'll bring you back some wheaten cakes.” The idiot handed the bowl and dish to Monkey then stood with his back to the crowd and his snout against the foot of the wall. He would not have moved for anything in the world.
When Monkey reached the drum tower he found that the crowds really were very dense. As he squeezed his way through them he heard people saying that a royal proclamation had been posted at the tower: this was what all the people were struggling to see. Monkey pushed forward till he was close to it, then opened wide his fiery eyes with golden pupils to read it carefully. This is what was written:
We, the King of Purpuria in the Western Continent of Cattle-gift, from the beginning of our reign gave peace to the four quarters and tranquillity to the people. Recently the state's misfortunes have confined us to our bed with a chronic illness that has continued for a very long time. Recovery has proved impossible, and the many excellent prescriptions of our country's Royal College of Medicine have not yet effected a cure. We hereby issue an invitation to all experts in medicine and pharmacy among the wise men of the world, whether from the North or the East, from China or from foreign countries, to ascend to the throne hall and heal our sickness, in the event of a recovery we will give half our kingdom. This is no empty promise. All those who can offer cures should come to this notice.
When Monkey had read this he exclaimed with delight, “As they used to say in the old days, 'Make a move and your fortune's one third made.' I was wrong to stay put in the hostel. There's no need to buy groceries, and fetching the scriptures can wait for a day while I go and have a bit of fun as a doctor.” The splendid Great Sage bent low, got rid of the bowl and dish, took a pinch of dust, threw it into the air, said the words of a spell and made himself invisible. He then went up to the notice, quietly took it down, and blew towards the Southeast with a magic breath.
Immediately a whirlwind arose that scattered all the people there. Monkey then went straight back to where Pig was standing, his nose propped against the foot of the wall as if he were fast asleep. Brother Monkey folded the notice up, slipped it inside the lapel of Pig's tunic without disturbing him, turned and went back to the hostel.