“What it is,” Pig replied again.
“Better he may be,” the monsters said with a laugh, “but he won't tell us about himself. He just echoes our questions.”
“Ladies,” Pig asked, “why are you fetching water?”
“You wouldn't know, monk,” the demons replied with smiles. “Our lady brought a Tang Priest back to the cave last night and she wants to look after him well. As the water in our cave is none too clean she's sent us two to fetch some of this good water produced by the mating of the Yin and the Yang. She's laid on a vegetarian banquet as well for the Tang Priest; she's going to marry him this evening.”
As soon as he heard this the idiot rushed straight back up the mountain shouting. “Friar Sand, bring the luggage here at once. We're dividing it up.”
“Why, brother?” Friar Sand asked.
“When we've divided it up you can go back to man-eating in the Flowing Sands River,” Pig replied, “I'll return to Gao Village to see my wife, Big Brother can play the sage on the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit, and the white dragon can be a dragon in the ocean again. The master's getting married in this evil spirits cave. Let's all go and settle down.”
“You're talking nonsense again, you idiot,” replied Brother Monkey.
“I bloody well am not,” Pig retorted. “Those two evil spirits who were carrying water said a moment ago that a vegetarian wedding feast is being laid on for the master.”
“How can you say things like that when the evil spirits are holding the master prisoner in the cave and he's longing for us to go in and rescue him?” said Monkey.
“How can we rescue him?” Pig asked.
“You two bring the horse and the luggage, while we go with the two she-monsters as our guides,” Monkey replied. “When we reach the entrance we can act together.”
The idiot could only go with Monkey as he followed the two monsters for five or six miles deep into the mountains before suddenly disappearing. “So the master was captured by a devil in broad daylight,” exclaimed Pig with surprise.
“You've got good eyesight,” said Monkey. “How can you possibly tell what they really were?”
“Those two monsters were carrying the water along when suddenly they disappeared. They must be daytime devils.”
“I think they went into a cave,” said Monkey. “Wait while I go to have a look.”
The splendid Great Sage opened his fiery eyes with their golden pupils and scanned the whole mountain. He saw no movement, but did spot a ceremonial archway most intricately made with many flowers and colours, triple eaves and fourfold decorations in front of the cliff. Going closer with Pig and Friar Sand he saw four large words written on it:
PITFALL MOUNTAIN: BOTTOMLESS CAVE
“Brothers,” said Monkey, “here's the evil spirits' archway, but I still don't know where the entrance is.”
“Can't be far,” said Friar Sand, “can't be far. Let's have a good look for it.” When they turned round to look they saw a great rock over three miles around at the foot of the mountain beneath the archway. In the middle of it was a hole the size of a water-vat, which had become very slippery by repeated climbing.
“Brother,” said Pig, “that's where the evil spirits go in and out of their cave.”
“That's very strange,” said Monkey. “To be frank with the two of you, I've captured quite a few evil spirits since I started escorting the Tang Priest, but I've never seen a cave palace like this one before. Pig, you go down first and find out how deep it is. Then I'll be able to go in and rescue the master.”
“It'll be hard,” said Pig with a shake of his head, “very hard. I'm very clumsy. If I tripped and fell in it might take me two or three years to reach the bottom.”
“How deep is it then?” Monkey asked.
“Look,” Pig replied, and as the Great Sage leant over the edge of the hole to take a careful look he saw to his astonishment that it was very deep indeed and must have measured over a hundred miles around.
“It's very, very deep, brother,” he turned round to say.
“Go back then,” Pig replied. “The master's beyond saving.”
“What a thing to say!” Monkey retorted. “'Have no thoughts of being lazy; put idleness out of your mind.' Put the luggage down, and tether the horse to one of the legs of the archway. You and Friar Sand must block the entrance with your rake and staff while I go inside to explore. If the master really is inside I'll drive the evil spirits out with my iron cudgel, and when they reach the entrance you mustn't let them out. We'll only be able to kill the evil spirits and rescue the master if we work together.” The other two accepted their orders.
Monkey sprang into the hole, and under his feet tea thousand coloured clouds appeared, while a thousand layers of auspicious mist shielded him. He was soon at the bottom, which was a very long way down. Inside all was bright; there was the same sunshine, winds, flowers, fruit and trees as in the world above.
“What a splendid place,” Monkey thought. “It reminds me of the Water Curtain Cave that Heaven gave me in the place where I was born. This is another cave paradise.” As he looked around he saw a gate-tower with double eaves around which grew many clumps of pine and bamboo. Inside were many buildings.
“This must be where the evil spirit lives,” he thought. “I'll go in and find out what's up. No, wait. If I go in like this she'll recognize me. I'd better transform myself.” With a shake and a hand-spell he turned himself into a fly and flew lightly up to land on the gate-tower and listen in. From here he saw the monster sitting at her ease in a thatched pavilion. She was dressed far more beautifully than she had been when they rescued her in the pine forest or when she had tried to catch Monkey in the monastery:
Her hair was piled in a crow-black coiffure;
She wore a green velvet waistcoat.
Her feet were a pair of curving golden lotuses;
Her fingers were as delicate as bamboo shoots in spring.
Her powdered face was like a silver dish,
And her red lips were as glossy as a cherry.
She was a regular beauty,
Even more lovely than the lady on the moon.
After capturing the pilgrim monk that morning
She was going to know the pleasure of sharing his bed.
Monkey said nothing as he listened out for what she might say. Before long the cherry of her lips parted as she said with great pleasure, “Lay on a vegetarian feast, my little ones, and quick. My darling Tang Priest and I are going to be man and wife afterwards.”
“So it's true,” thought Brother Monkey, grinning to himself. “I thought Pig was just joking. I'd better fly in and find the master. I wonder what state of mind he's in. If he's been led astray I'm leaving him here.” When he spread his wings and flew inside to look he saw the Tang Priest sitting in a corridor behind a trellis covered with opaque red paper below and left clear above.
Butting a hole through the trellis paper Monkey landed on the Tang Priest's bald head and called, “Master.”
“Save me, disciple,” replied Sanzang, who recognized Monkey's voice.
“You're useless, Master,” said Monkey. “The evil spirit is laying on a feast, and when you've eaten it you two are getting married. I expect you'll have a son or a daughter to start another generation of monks and nuns. What have you got to be so upset about?”
When the venerable elder heard this he gnashed his teeth and said, “Disciple, in all the time since I left Chang'an, accepted you as my follower at the Double Boundary Mountain and started my journey West, when have I ever eaten meat or had any wicked ideas? Now the evil spirit has captured me she is insisting that I mate with her. If I lose my true masculine essence may I fall from the wheel of reincarnation and be fixed for ever behind the Dark Mountains, never to rise again.”