“If it's a long way let's go there by cloud,” Pig replied.
The splendid idiot went ahead on a wild wind followed by Friar Sand on a cloud. As the white horse had originally been a dragon's son he too came by wind and mist as he carried the luggage on his back. The Great Sage set off by somersault as he headed due South, and before long a high mountain came into view that was blocking the way for the clouds.
The three of them took hold of the horse and stopped their clouds. This is what the mountain looked like:
The summit touched the azure sky,
Its peaks joined with the blue of the heavens.
Trees by the million grew on every side,
While flying birds sung noisily all around.
Tigers and leopards moved in packs,
Water deer and roebuck walked through the bushes.
On the Southern slopes rare flowers bloomed fragrant;
On the Northern side the snow never melted.
Steep and craggy were its ridges,
Sheer were its overhangs and rockfaces.
Pinnacles shot straight up
And deep ravines curved all around.
It was dark green among the pines,
And the rocks were jagged.
It struck fear into the traveler's heart.
No sign could be seen of woodcutters,
And the immortal boys picking herbs had vanished.
The tigers and leopards here could make mists,
And all the foxes set winds roaring.
“Brother,” said Pig, “this mountain's so high and sheer there must be evil on it.”
“Goes without saying,” Monkey replied. “High mountains all have monsters; there's never a steep ridge without spirits. Friar Sand,” he called, “you and I are going to stay here while we send Pig into the mountain hollows to look around and find out the best way for us to take. If there really is a cave palace he must discover where the entrance is. Find everything out so that we can go in together to find the master and rescue him.”
“Just my lousy luck,” said Pig, “having to go first and take the brunt.”
“Last night you said we could leave it all to you,” Monkey replied, “so why are you trying to get out of it now?”
“Stop shouting at me,” Pig said. “I'm going.” The idiot put down his rake, tugged at his clothes and leapt empty-handed down from the mountain to find the path.
If you don't know whether this departure was to be for good or ill listen to the explanation in the next installment.
Chapter 82
The Girl Seeks the Male
The Primal Deity Guards the Way
The story tells how Pig leapt down the mountainside and found a narrow path. After following it for nearly two miles he came across two she-monsters drawing water from a well. How did he know that they both were monsters? Each of them had on her head an extremely unfashionable hair-style held up by bamboo slivers that stood one foot two or three inches high.
“Evil monsters,” Pig called, going up to them.
The two of them looked at each other and said. “What an outrageous monk. We don't know him and we've never had words with him. So why did he call us evil monsters?” In their fury the monsters raised the pole with which they were going to carry the water and struck at Pig's head.
After a few blows that he could not ward off as he was unarmed, the idiot rushed back up the mountain with his head covered by both hands shouting, “Brother! Go back! The monsters are vicious.”
“What's so vicious about them?” Monkey asked.
“There were two evil spirits drawing water from the well in the hollow,” said Pig, “and they hit me three or four times with their carrying-pole just because I spoke to them.”
“What did you call them?” Monkey asked.
“Evil monsters,” Pig replied.
“You got off lightly then,” laughed Monkey.
“I'm most obliged for your concern,” replied Pig. “My head has swollen up where they hit it, and you tell me I've got off lightly.”
“Soft words will get you anywhere on earth; act rough and you won't move a single step,” replied Monkey. “As they're local fiends from round here and we're monks from far away you'd have had to be a bit polite even if you'd had fists growing all over your body. Do you think they should have hit me instead of you? You were the one who called them evil monsters. Courtesy first!”
“I never realized,” said Pig.
“Living on human flesh in the mountains since childhood as you have,” said Monkey, “can you recognize two kinds of tree?”
“I don't know,” Pig said. “Which two trees?”
“The willow and the sandalwood,” Monkey replied. “The willow has a very soft nature, so that craftsmen can carve it into holy images or make statues of the Tathagata out of it. It's gilded, painted, set with jewels, decorated with flowers, and many worshippers burn incense to it. It receives unbounded blessings. But the sandalwood is so hard that it's used as the pressing-beam in the oil-press with iron hoops round its head, and it's hit with iron hammers too. The only reason it suffers like this is because it's to hard.”
“You should have told me all this before,” said Pig, “then I wouldn't have been beaten.”
“Now go back and find out the truth,” said Brother Monkey.
“But if I go there again they'll recognize me,” Pig replied.
“Then turn into something else,” said Monkey.
“But even if I do turn into something else, brother, how am I to question them?” asked Pig.
“When you look different go up to them and bow to them,” Monkey replied. “See how old they are. If they're about the same age as us call them 'Miss,' and if they're a lot older call them 'Lady.'”
“What a terrible climb-down: why should we be treating them as our relations when they're strangers from this far away?” said Pig.
“That's not treating them as relations,” replied Monkey. “Its just a way of getting the truth out of them. If they're the ones who've got our master we'll be able to act; and if it isn't them we won't lose any time before going to fight elsewhere.”
“You're right,” said Pig. “I'm going back.”
The splendid idiot tucked his rake in his belt, went down into the hollow, shook himself and turned into a far, dark-skinned monk. He swaggered as he went up to the monsters, chanted a loud “na-a-aw” of respect and said, “Respectful greetings, ladies.”
“This monk's much better,” the two monsters said with delight. “He expresses his respects and knows how to address us properly.” Then they asked him, “Where are you from, venerable elder?”
“From somewhere,” Pig replied.
“And where are you going?” they asked.
“Somewhere,” Pig replied.
“What's your name?” they asked.
“What it is,” Pig replied again.
“Better he may be,” the monsters said with a laugh, “but he won't tell us about himself. He just echoes our questions.”
“Ladies,” Pig asked, “why are you fetching water?”
“You wouldn't know, monk,” the demons replied with smiles. “Our lady brought a Tang Priest back to the cave last night and she wants to look after him well. As the water in our cave is none too clean she's sent us two to fetch some of this good water produced by the mating of the Yin and the Yang. She's laid on a vegetarian banquet as well for the Tang Priest; she's going to marry him this evening.”
As soon as he heard this the idiot rushed straight back up the mountain shouting. “Friar Sand, bring the luggage here at once. We're dividing it up.”
“Why, brother?” Friar Sand asked.
“When we've divided it up you can go back to man-eating in the Flowing Sands River,” Pig replied, “I'll return to Gao Village to see my wife, Big Brother can play the sage on the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit, and the white dragon can be a dragon in the ocean again. The master's getting married in this evil spirits cave. Let's all go and settle down.”