“There's a village not far ahead,” Monkey replied, “where the people are so pious that they're steaming white rice and white breadrolls to feed monks with. I think that the mist must have been steam escaping from their steamers. It was the result of their goodness.”
When Pig heard this he thought Monkey was telling the truth, so he grabbed hold of him and whispered, “Did you eat their food before you came back?”
“Only a bit,” Monkey replied. “The vegetable dishes were too salty-I didn't want to eat too much.”
“Screw that,” said Pig. “I'd eat my fill of it however salty it was. If it made me really thirsty I'd come back for a drink of water.”
“Would you like some?” Monkey asked.
“Sure thing,” Pig replied. “I'm hungry and I'd like some now. What do you think?”
“You mustn't even talk about it,” said Monkey. “As the ancient book says, 'When the father is present the son must do nothing on his own account.' Our master, who's as good as a father to you, is here, so none of us should dare go ahead.”
“If you'll say nothing about it, I'm going,” replied Pig with a grin.
“Let's see how you do it,” Monkey replied. “I'll say nothing.” When it came to eating the idiot knew a thing or two.
He went up to his master, made a loud “na-a-aw” of respect, and said, “Master, elder brother has just told me that there are people in a village ahead of us who feed monks. Just look at that horse. It looks as though it's going to start playing it up. We'll be causing a lot of trouble if we have to ask for grass and other fodder for it. Luckily the wind and the clouds have gone now, so why don't you all sit here for a while while I fetch some tender grass? We can go and beg for food from that house when we've fed the horse.”
“Splendid,” said the Tang Priest with delight. “I wondered why you've become so hardworking today. Be as quick as you can.”
Smiling secretly to himself the idiot started out. “Brother,” said Monkey, catching up and grabbing hold of him, “they feed monks all right, but only good-looking ones.”
“In that case I'll have to change again,” said Pig.
“Yes,” said Brother Monkey, “you change.”
The splendid idiot, who could perform thirty-six transformations, went into a hollow on the mountainside, made a spell with his hands, said the magic words, shook himself and turned himself into a short, skinny monk, beating a wooden fish-shaped dram with his hand and mumbling, “Oh great one, oh great one,” because he knew no scriptures to recite.
After putting away the wind and the mist the evil spirit ordered all his devils to form a circle round the main road, ready for any travelers. The idiot's luck was out, and he was soon inside the trap and surrounded by the devils, who grabbed at his clothes and his silken sash as they all crowded in on him together.
“Don't pull,” Pig said. “You can let me eat in all your houses in turn.”
“What do you want to eat, monk?” the devils asked. “You feed monks here,” Pig replied, “and I've come to be fed.”
“So you're hoping to be fed, are you, monk?” said the demons. “You don't seem to realize that what we like doing best here is eating monks. We're all evil immortals who've found the Way here in the mountains, and the only thing we want to do is to catch you monks, take you home with us, pop you in the steamer till you're tender and eat you. And you're still hoping for a vegetarian meal!”
At this Pig's heart was filled with terror, and he started complaining about Monkey. “That Protector of the Horses is a crook. He lied to me about them feeding monks in this village. There aren't any villagers here and there's nobody who feeds monks. They're all evil spirits.” The idiot was being tugged at so hard that he turned back into himself, pulled the rake out from his belt and struck out wildly, driving all the junior devils back.
They rushed back to report to the senior demon, “Disaster, Your Majesty.”
“What disaster?” the senior demon asked.
“A neat-looking monk came along in front of the mountain,” they replied, “so we decided to catch him and steam him. We were going to keep what we couldn't eat now for a bad day. Then to our astonishment he transformed himself.”
“What did he turn himself into?” the senior demon asked.
“Not into anything human,” they replied. “He's got a long snout, big ears, and a bristly mane on his back. He lashed out furiously at us with a rake that he used two-handed. He gave us such a terrible fright that we've run straight back to report to Your Majesty.”
“Don't be afraid,” the senior demon said. “Let me go and have a look.” Swinging his iron mace he went up for a closer look and saw that the idiot really was hideous. This is what he looked like:
A snout like a husking hammer over three feet long;
Tusks like silver nails protruding from his mouth.
Two round eyes that flashed like lightning;
A pair of ears that made a howling wind when they flapped.
The bristles behind his head were rows of iron arrows;
All of his hide was rough and green and scabby.
In his hands he held an amazing object:
A nine-toothed rake of which everyone was afraid.
Summoning up his courage, the evil spirit shouted, “Where are you from? What's your name? Tell me at once and I'll spare your life.”
To this Pig replied with a laugh, “So you can't recognize your own ancestor Pig either, my boy. Come closer and I'll tell you:
For my huge mouth and tusks and mighty powers
I was made Marshal Tian Peng by the Jade Emperor,
Commanding eighty thousand marines on the River of Heaven,
And happy amid all the joys of the heavenly palace.
Because when drunk I fluted with a palace lady
I decided to play the hero for a while.
One butt from my snout destroyed the Dipper and Bull Palace;
I ate the magic mushrooms of the Queen Mother of the West.
The Jade Emperor himself gave me two thousand hammer-blows,
Made me an exile from the world of Heaven.
This made me determined to nourish my spirit,
And become an evil monster in the lower world.
Just when I had made a good marriage in Gao Village
Fate brought me up against my brother Monkey.
He subdued me with his gold-banded cudgel;
I was forced to bow my head and enter the Buddhist faith.
I do the heavy work, saddle the horse and carry luggage:
I must have been the Tang Priest's debtor in an earlier life.
As the iron-footed Marshal Tian Peng my surname was Zhu;
My name as a Buddhist is Zhu Bajie.”
When the evil spirit heard this he shouted, “So you're the Tang Priest's disciple. I've long heard that his flesh is very tasty. You're one of the people I most want to catch. I'm not going to spare you now you've fallen into my clutches. Stay where you are, and take this from my mace.”
“Evil beast,” Pig replied. “You must have been a dyer before.”
“What do you mean, I must have been a dyer?” the evil spirit asked.
“If you weren't a dyer, how come you know how to use a pestle?” Pig retorted, and with no further argument the monster was upon him, striking furiously. They fought a fine battle in the mountain hollow:
A nine-toothed rake,
An iron mace.
As the rake went through its movements they were like a howling gale;
The mace's skilful blows came as thick and fast as rain.
One was an unknown ogre blocking the mountain road;
The other was the offending Tian Peng now guarding his true nature's master.
When one's nature is right monsters cause no fear;
When the mountain is high earth cannot come from metal.
One fought with his mace like a python from a pool;
The other's rake was like a dragon from the waters.