“This is terrible, Your Majesty,” the commander of the vanguard reported. “Sun the Novice is here looking for him too.” At this the demon king started complaining, “It's all because of your 'petal-dividing' or whatever you called it. You've brought disaster on us. How is this going to end?”
“Don't worry, Your Majesty,” the commander of the vanguard replied, “and don't start grumbling yet. That Sun the Novice is a monkey of great breadth of spirit. Although he has such tremendous magical power he's partial to flattery. We'll take an imitation human head out to fool him with, say a few flattering things to him and tell him we've eaten his master already. If we can take him in, the Tang Priest will be ours to enjoy. If we can't we'll have to think again.”
“But where are we to get an imitation human head?” the demon king asked.
“I'll see if I can make one,” the commander of the vanguard replied.
The splendid ogre then cut a piece of willow root with an axe of pure steel into the shape of a human head, spurted some human blood on it from his mouth to make it all sticky, and told a junior devil to take it to the gates on a lacquer tray, calling, “My Lord Great Sage, please overcome your anger and allow me to address you.”
Brother Monkey really was partial to being flattered, and when he heard himself being addressed as “My Lord Great Sage” he grabbed hold of Pig and said, “Don't hit him. Let's hear what he has to say.”
To this the junior devil with the tray replied, “When my king took your master into the cave the junior devils were naughty and behaved very badly. They gobbled and gnawed and grabbed and bit, and ate the whole of your master up except his head, which I have here.”
“If you've eaten him up, that's that,” Monkey replied. “Bring the head out and let me see whether it's real or false.” The junior devil threw the head out through the hole in the gates, a sight that started Pig howling and saying, “This is terrible. The master went in looking one way and he's come out looking like this.”
“Idiot,” said Monkey, “have a look and find out if it's real before you start crying.”
“You're shameless,” said Pig, “how could there ever be such a thing as a fake human head?”
'This one's a fake,” Brother Monkey replied.
“How can you tell?” Pig asked. “When you throw a real human head it lands quietly,” Monkey explained, “but when you throw a fake it makes a loud noise like a pair of wooden clappers. If you don't believe me, I'll throw it for you. Listen!” He picked the head up and threw it against a rock, where it gave a hollow ring.
“It was loud, brother,” said Friar Sand.
“That means it's a fake,” said Monkey. “I'll make it turn back into its real self to show you.” Producing his gold-banded cudgel in a flash he hit the head open. When Pig looked he saw that it was a piece of willow root. This was too much for the idiot, who started talking abusively.
“I'll get you, you hairy lot,” he said, “you may have hidden my master in your cave and fooled your ancestor Pig with a piece of willow root, but don't imagine that my master is just a willow-tree spirit in disguise.”
The junior devil who was holding the tray was thrown into such a panic by this that he ran shaking with fear back to report, “It's terrible, terrible, terrible.”
“What's so terribly terrible then?' the senior demon asked.
“Zhu Bajie and Friar Sand were taken in, but Monkey's like an antique dealer-he really knows his stuff,” the junior demon replied. “He could tell it was an imitation head. If only we could give him a real human head he might go away.”
“But how are we to get one?” the senior demon wondered, then continued, “Fetch a human head we haven't eaten yet from the flaying shed.” The devils then went to the shed and choose a fresh head, after which they gnawed all the skin off it till it was quite smooth and carried it out on a tray.
“My lord Great Sage,” the messenger said, “I am afraid it was a fake head last time. But this really is Lord Tang's head. Our king had kept it so as to bring good fortune to our cave, but now he's making a special offering of it.” He then threw the head out through the hole in the gates, it landed with a thud and rolled on the ground, gory with blood.
Seeing that this human head was a real one Monkey could not help starting to wail, in which he was joined by Pig and Friar Sand.
“Stop crying, brother,” said Pig, holding back his tears. “This is very hot weather, and the head will soon become putrid. I'm going to fetch and bury it while it's still fresh. We can cry for him afterwards.”
“You're right,” said Monkey, and the idiot cradled the head against his chest, not caring about the filth, as he hurried up the cliff till he found a South-facing spot where the winds and the natural forces were gathered. Here he hacked out a hole with his rake, buried the head, and piled a grave-mound over it. Only then did he say to Friar Sand, “You and big brother weep over him while I look for some offerings.”
Going down to the side of a gill, he broke off some willow branches and gathered a few pebbles. Taking them back up to the tomb, he planted the willow branches on either side and piled the pebbles in front of it. “What's all that about?” Monkey asked.
“The willow branches are used instead of cypresses to shade the master's tomb for the time being,” Pig answered, “and the pebbles are offerings to him instead of cakes.”
“Cretin!” Monkey shouted. “He's already dead. What do you want to go offering him stones for?”
“Just to show what the living feel,” Pig replied, “and out of mourning and respect.”
“You'd better cut that nonsense out,” Monkey replied. “Tell Friar Sand to come here. He can guard the tomb and keep an eye on the horse and the luggage while we two go and smash the cave palace up, capture the monster and break his body into ten thousand bits. Then we'll have avenged the master.”
“You're absolutely right, big brother,” said Friar Sand through his tears. “You two be careful. I'll keep watch here.”
The splendid Pig then took off his black brocade tunic, tied his undershirt tightly, picked up his rake and followed Monkey. The two of them rushed straight for the stone gates, and with no more ado they smashed them down and shouted with a yell that made the heavens shake, “Give us our Tang Priest back alive!” This sent the souls flying from all the devils old and young in the cave, who complained that the commander of the vanguard had wronged them. “How are we going to deal with these monks now they've fought their way in through the gates?” the demon king asked.
“The ancients used to say,” the commander of the vanguard replied, “'Put your hand in a basket of fish and it's bound to stink.' Now we're in this we've got to see it through. We'll just have to take our troops into battle with these monks.” When the demon heard this he had no alternative but to issue the order, “Stand together, my little ones. Bring your best weapons with you and come with me.” They then charged out through the entrance of the cave with a great war cry.
The Great Sage and Pig quickly fell back a few paces before they held the devilish onslaught on a piece of flat ground on the mountainside, shouting, “Who's your best-known boss? Who's the ogre who captured our master?”
The devils had now palisaded their position, over which a multicolored embroidered flag flew, and the demon king shouted straight back as he held the iron mace, “Damned monks! Don't you know who I am? I'm the Great King of the Southern Mountains, and I've been running wild here for hundreds of years. I've eaten your Tang Priest up. What are you going to do about it?”
“You've got a nerve, you hairy beast,” retorted Monkey abusively. “How old are you, daring to call yourself after the Southern Mountains? Lord Lao Zi was the ancestor who opened up heaven and earth, but even he sits on the right of the Supreme Pure One. The Tathagata Buddha is the Honoured One who rules the world, and he sits below the Great Roc. Confucius the Sage is the Honoured One of the Confucian School, and all he's called is Master. So how dare you call yourself Great King of the Southern Mountains and talk about running wild for several hundred years? Don't move, and take this from your grandfather's cudgel!”