More and more we came to see that "I-ness" can be a fractious hodgepodge of contending pressure groups or it can be like a rose window of diametrically opposite but harmoniously blending qualities. It can be composed of debating teams of undisciplined demagogues or it can be a beautifully balanced mandala shining from within. Apparently the trick is not to reject these semi-autonomous fragments of the psyche but rather to put them to work in the places where they can be useful.
It also seemed evident that these subpersonalities can grow as though with a life of their own. Orphan Boy can learn that he is genuinely loved while the queen can come down off her throne and mingle with the populace. Old Mary can get smart and the warrior can temper his zeal. Little Sunny can accept the fact that the cosmic butterfly is still just a worm with wings, while the grub may be encouraged to know that there is always the possibility of taking flight. Wonder Boy and Bionic Woman can heed the commonsense advice given by Mickey and Mini-mouse even while the timorous mouse pair starts to realize that the soul cannot be fed with the crumbs of conventional success.
With the integration of each contending faction a liberation of energy occurs. Thus, through alternating stages of fission and fusion we learn to tap the power source that we know as the all-seeing, all-accepting, all-compassionate Self.
The next session two days later followed our evening hour of hatha yoga exercises. It seemed expeditious, therefore, to use this opportunity to practice a classic candle-gazing technique intended to assist in the opening of the third eye. We had become intrigued with this method of developing the higher mental faculties because at the end of our yoga class the previous week Howard had been sitting contemplatively with his eyes closed when suddenly, as though gazing through a peephole in the center of his forehead, he saw me standing in front of him with hands on hips. Opening his eyes he discovered that the vision was real; I actually was standing in that position. Again he closed his eyes and the image remained. This was his first experience of clairvoyant perception and he had found it impressive.
Now, in order to expedite this meditative process I took an injection of twenty-five milligrams while Howard took twelve and a half.
Session 11
Marcia. (Explaining.) You see, you open your eyes and look at the flame.
Howard. That's pretty.
Marcia. Now when you can't look at it any more you close your eyes and try to see the same flame with your third eye. It's like the eye at the top of the pyramid where they used to place a crystal in the old days. Can you see something that looks like an eye in the center of your forehead?
Howard. Yes.
Marcia. Now again. Open your eye and stare at the flame. Then when your eyes get tired you close them and go right on seeing through the eye in the center of your forehead. The next time you do this you'll start to see with your third eye. That's the eye of your inner vision-the eye with which you will clairvoyantly diagnose. And remember, that eye also sends a beam out. The third eye doesn't only receive; it also radiates… Now, can you see the flame through the third eye? Mine actually looks like an eye. It has lashes and all. You do it again and again. And each time you get closer to seeing that eye. It's called tratakam.
Howard. Yeah.
Marcia. Now look at the candle and squint. Can you see the beams going off?
Howard. For sure. It's beautiful. The more you squint the more beautiful it is.
Marcia. It's your own inner light show. Keep on doing that. First you look at the candle…
Howard. Wow!
Marcia. And try to see it through your two eyes, the eyes at the base of the pyramid. Then through the third eye. I'll bet you didn't even know you had a third eye a year ago.
Howard. I didn't.
Marcia. It's not just a third eye; its a pyramid, which makes it vision raised into a whole new dimension.
Howard. You know, with this feeling I have right now, it's home again. You could say "home again."
Marcia. Good. Just go with it.
Howard. Home again. All this is part of the research of Dr. Neptune. Isn't that a beautiful name. Dr. Neptune. Wow…well this is obviously a nice high. I don't have that waxy feeling.
Marcia. Good.
Howard. I'm very relaxed. I've definitely gotten out of my body. It's magnificent, magnificent to get out of your body. God, this is really a nice trip. (Laughing.) I love you, Marcia. I'll always love you…the turning of the spiral. We'll always be together. That's mine, my original…what's the word for when you say something and it gives out a vibration…onomatopoeia.
Marcia. I know what you mean, you can see the sound. Its like Sanskrit mantras are supposed to be. The words are inherently efficacious. (Stumbling over the effort to express the idea.) Anyway, I know what you mean, but the words are…are like wax.
Howard. Souls…wow. There's no question this is an altered state of consciousness.
Marcia. Yes, and you only had a mere twelve and a half. You wouldn't consider that enough to change anything.
Howard. Look at that, Marcia. I can't talk either. I'm so glad we bought that screen. Its glowing. It's alive. (This was a large carved wooden Indian screen which we had recently purchased as a room divider.)
Marcia. I oiled it so carefully. It turned out three shades darker.
Howard. I know, you did a lovely job.
Marcia. But the thing is, so much thought went into it. Imagine if you had to make a screen like that.
Howard. The bright world. I always want to be in the bright world. It's a beautiful world. Together, together.
Marcia. Together forever.
Howard. Together forever. (Repeating).
Marcia. That was like a garland you were weaving.
Howard. That's beautiful as I say it. Look at that candle. And just get into those vibes. They're gold and violet. You can see the sound waves. You can see the energy waves of what I was saying. (Repeating.) Together forever.
Marcia. That's what I get. It's a wave you see. A wave or a spiral.
Howard. Souls, a soul trip. This is definitely a soul trip. Wow. All I see is purple and gold. Gosh, purple and gold. What a beautiful experience. Twelve and a half. Wow, wow…You know it's beautiful on this level of consciousness. The people look different. The wax is constantly reshaping itself. There are times when all of us are beautiful or ugly… On this one little plane of consciousness you always appear to me like a little child scrunched up and saying, "Tee hee hee, I'm really having fun." Like a little mouse. "Why don't you have fun with me?"
Marcia. (Laughing.) That's cute.
Howard. It's very mousy.
Marcia. That's Mini-mouse. You saw her. She titters, tee hee hee.
Howard. (Laughing.) Exactly. I saw little Mini-mouse.
Marcia. We should look at auras. Even under this I don't see the aura. Look at your hand against the screen. Do you see any emanations?
Howard. Oh, I can definitely see gold around them. I see yellow.
Marcia. I do see some.
Howard. I see gold. That's just because we have the candle, isn't it.
Marcia. No, I don't think so. If you look in another direction you still see it. This is a good way to do your aura gazing.
Howard. You're looking at my aura. What color is it?
Marcia. I can't tell. I only see the gold. But it's nice. What about mine?
Howard. Well I can see that it's silver; it's blue; it's violet…it's a glow.
Marcia. Good. So now you can see auras. That means you're clairvoyant.