Shanelle felt like a child just then. Where was the courage that had sent her racing across space into the unknown, that had sent Falon crashing to the floor without thought of consequence, that had faced sex-sharing again when she was sure it would be nothing but painful? If her mother had witnessed that disgraceful display of theatrics, she’d hang her head in shame. That was exactly what Shanelle felt like doing. On the other hand, she was so relieved that Falon had stopped, for whatever reason, that she started hugging him back to tell him so, though she kept her face buried against his chest.
It was still a while more before she was quiet enough to merit more direct attention. Her face was lifted. A finger gently wiped the wetness from her cheeks. And when she finally got up enough courage to open her eyes, it was to see an expression that was a pure mixture of chagrin and resignation.
Falon’s voice, however, was nothing short of scolding. “You do not take punishment well, kerima.”
“Are you finished?”
He sighed. “Very likely.”
“Then I’ll do better the next time,” she felt it safe to lie.
“You had best hope there is never a next time,” he told her sternly.
Stars, didn’t she know it. She tried to hide her face again, but he wouldn’t let her. Unfortunately, the subject wasn’t over yet.
“Your brother mentioned another way a warrior may punish his own woman. Perhaps I should discuss this further with him.”
Shanelle stiffened and quickly volunteered, “My father always sent me to the kitchen to work.”
“Is this how your mother is punished?”
“Well, no-Falon, please, I hate that way even more than your way.”
“How would you know when you have yet to experience it? Dalden claims your women prefer-”
“Fat lot Dalden knows!” she snapped, then immediately paled for having done so.
Falon noticed and this time he pressed her face back to his chest to assure her, “I will never punish you for what you say to me, woman, nor for how you say it, nor for the reason you say it. Do I punish you again, it will be because you have disobeyed me in a way that endangers yourself, which I will not stand for. Is this clear to you?”
“You’re saying it’s okay if I get angry at you?”
“Yes.”
“And it’s okay if I, ah-unthinkingly attack you sometimes?”
He lifted her chin again so she could see his smile. “That would depend on what you attack me with, kerima. I would not care to have my head cracked open some new rising because I did not see to you properly the previous rising.”
“Somehow I don’t think you’ll ever be that forgetful.” She grinned back at him. “How about if I just attack you with myself?”
“You are welcome to try.”
For once that phrase made her laugh instead of feel frustration, and she released it in delight. “So this is the freedom to express myself you mentioned.”
And then she realized that he was taking away another of her objections to him, for she couldn’t imagine deliberately endangering herself. And if that was the only thing that would get her punished, she’d never have to fear it again. As for disobeying him in other ways…
“I think there are a few things about your country that I might like after all, Falon,” she said.
“This I am pleased to know. Now do you tell me what we are to say to your brother when he asks were you properly punished?”
“That’s none of his business,” she said.
“In this case it is, for your offense was against his house.”
Now she squirmed uneasily, realizing that he was going against inbred principles not to punish her for an offense they all knew she was guilty of. The men of her own family wouldn’t have let her get away with it, yet Falon had been unable to finish what he started.
“Perhaps you could allow me one more untruth to assure him-”
“No,” Falon cut her off with an admonishing shake of his head.
“So maybe he won’t ask.”
He sighed now. “In either case, Dalden must be told the truth.”
“Ah-what exactly is the truth?”
He leaned back to glance sharply at her. “Do you tease me, woman?”
“No,” she said. “I know you stopped, Falon. I just don’t know why.”
He lay back on the bed, drawing her with him, men arranging her so they faced each other. A finger came to one of her eyes and caught a single remaining drop of moisture, which he rubbed against her lips until she thought to kiss his finger. He removed it then to thread his hand through her hair. Obviously, this conversation was not to end in joining-at least not yet.
He finally said, “The sound of your tears was too painful to bear. I could wish it were otherwise, or that you could have displayed a small measure of forbearance, yet did you not.”
She blushed at that point, for his tone was definitely chiding, his expression chagrined, but more on the disappointment side. And she knew it wasn’t because he had wanted to hurt her. He hadn’t. His feeling was that he had failed her in not administering what she was due for her own good, but he had failed because of her own shameful behavior. Warriors never enjoyed punishing their women. It was a duty they saw as a further means of protecting their women from harm. Shanelle knew all this, which was why she was so amazed that her backside wasn’t on fire right now. But that her tears had affected him so strongly… did that mean he felt more than lust for her?
He was different from the average warrior, just like her father was, and maybe mat included the ability to love. Just maybe there was hope for them after all, despite whatever problems remained.
She dropped her eyes to his chest to say, “Falon, I’m sorry I’m such a baby when it comes to anything that hurts. I know you needed to-well, felt you had to, but I was just too afraid of being punished by you in particular.”
“Woman, you are supposed to fear punishment. How else will it keep you from doing what you should not?”
“I know that, and believe me, I don’t want to go through that experience again, even as brief as it was. So please don’t feel you’ve failed in your duty. I wouldn’t be lying to Dalden if I told him I’ve learned my lesson.”
Falon snorted. “All you have learned is that your pain gives me pain. What you have yet to realize is that your offense was not against me directly this time when you endangered yourself, nor were you truly mine yet while you did so. Does the time come that it happens again, there can be no reprieve for you, despite my own feelings on the matter. No tears, screams, or pleading will keep me from my duty then. Take this warning to heart, Shanelle, for I will be extremely displeased do you force me to make us both suffer by your actions.”
She shivered, and instinct compelled her to press her body to his in an age-old manner of amends-making. “Could we maybe talk about something else now, Falon?”
His arm curled around her to press her even closer. “As I recall, you have more than one meaning for the word ‘talk.’ ”
Shanelle finally felt like grinning. “I do, don’t I?”
Chapter 33
“How’s it going, doll?”
“Martha!” Shanelle gasped as she stepped out of the solaray bath in Falon’s cabin. And then in an accusatory tone she asked, “Where have you been? We’ll be home in a few hours.”
A rude sound came out of the intercom on the wall. “Where do you think I’ve been? It took Corth and me all this time to work on getting a little temporary boost for our thrusters so we could catch up. You know that farden ship you’re in is faster than the Rover.”
“You shouldn’t have had to catch up. Are you telling me you didn’t notice when we left?”
“ ‘Course I did. But how was I to know you weren’t still down on Sunder? After all, the last I’d heard, those women were planning on altering our warriors into leaving without you. I had to make sure, didn’t I? And it took me a while to locate your general friend so I could.”