Gelsey nodded. “I think I’m going to spend the night at Winterhill. You can think about what you want to do and I won’t be here to…distract you.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Kellan countered.
“Sure it is. Besides, I have some business I need to take care of tomorrow morning at the house, so I won’t have to get up early and drive over there.”
“Why do I get the feeling that I just turned everything arseways between us?”
“You didn’t,” Gelsey said. “Nothing has changed.”
Kellan didn’t believe her. In truth, he could see the confusion in her eyes, the frantic way she kept avoiding his gaze. Hell, she’d been engaged three times? This was a woman who was pathologically frightened of commitment and here he was, pushing her to declare her feelings and plan a future with him after they’d only known each other less than a month.
Jaysus, could he be much more of a gack? How had his brothers managed to find mates when all he could do was stumble around and blather on about his plans and his needs. “If you want to go, that’s fine,” he finally said. “I’ll stop by the shop tomorrow. Maybe we can have lunch?”
“Yes,” Gelsey said. “Lunch would be perfect.” She kissed him quickly, then slipped into her shoes. Reaching out, she placed her palm on his cheek. “Don’t look so worried. Everything will be fine.”
As she walked out of the room, Kellan sat down on the edge of the bed. Raking his fingers through his hair, he cursed. This was not the way it was supposed to go. He’d finally found a woman he could love and he’d made a complete mess of it.
He heard the car start and walked to the window. Watching through the lace curtains, Kellan willed her to come back inside, to forget everything that he’d said to her. But instead, she drove off down the hill toward the village and the coast road to Winterhill.
Kellan wandered out into the great room. He felt as if he’d just gone ten rounds in a feckin’ boxing ring. His head hurt and he couldn’t put a coherent thought together. “I need a drink,” he muttered.
Grabbing his jacket, he opened the front door and stepped out into the evening chill. There was plenty to drink down at the Speckled Hound. And maybe his brothers might be able to explain exactly where he’d gone wrong, because he sure as hell couldn’t figure it all out.
“DANNY SAID you’ve moved out of the cottage.”
“Where did he hear that?” Gelsey asked.
Jordan shrugged. “I think Kellan told him. He stopped by the pub a few nights ago and got really pissed. Danny had to drive him home.”
Gelsey picked at a piece of lace on Nan’s wedding dress, smoothing it down until it lay perfectly on her shoulder. “I didn’t exactly move out. Some of my things are still there. I’m just staying at my place for a while until we sort out our…issues.”
They’d gathered at Danny and Jordan’s cottage behind the blacksmith’s shop to look at the dress that had just arrived from a bridal shop in Cork. To Gelsey’s eyes, it was the perfect dress for the perfect bride. Nan had chosen a simple fitted sheath, bare at the neck with handmade Irish lace covering her arms and shoulders. It hugged the curves of her body, flaring out at the knees, making the dress both sexy and conventional at the same time.
Jordan groaned. “No, you can’t have issues. We don’t want you to have issues.” She paused. “What are your issues?”
“It’s nothing serious, really,” Gelsey said. “He just wants everything to be…official. Written in stone. And I’m just not sure I can do that. Every time I’ve tried that in the past, it’s blown up in my face.”
“Antonio?” Nan asked.
Gelsey blinked in surprise.
“Kellan told Danny who told Riley. He thinks you’re going to go back to him.”
“Danny?” Gelsey asked.
“No, Kellan. He thinks you’re going to go back to Europe and to Antonio.”
Gelsey stepped away from Nan then took in the sight of her new friend, dressed in the gown she’d be married in. “You look beautiful.” Tears pressed at the corners of her eyes. How had it been so easy for Nan and Jordan to surrender to love? And why did she find it so impossible? Surely, they’d made mistakes in the past. How could they be so certain it was the right thing to do?
If Kellan truly loved her, then he’d have to accept her the way she was, with all the baggage that came along. And if she had to spend some time in an Italian jail, then he’d be there for her when she got out. And he’d be there for her every day for the rest of her life.
It took so much courage to put her life, her future happiness, in his hands. At this moment, she felt as if she could get out without mortal wounds. But if she went on much longer, leaving him would destroy her.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured, brushing a tear from her cheek. “I don’t know why I’m so…silly.” Her voice wavered. “I’m usually not so emotional.”
“It’s all right,” Nan said. “You don’t have to hide it with us. So, he knows about your life in Europe? The tabloids?”
Gelsey shook her head. “We haven’t really discussed it.”
“And what about the thing with the photographer?” Jordan asked.
Gelsey gasped. “You know about that?”
Jordan nodded. “You mentioned it that time we talked. Nan saw it in Hello!”
“Yeah, well, it’s the truth. I have to go right back into that mess with the photographers and the reporters and all the people who want to examine my life with a microscope. Nobody knows me here and it’s been wonderful.”
“We know you,” Nan said. “And Kellan knows you. And everyone who knows you cares about you. We don’t care about that other stuff.”
“I haven’t told Kellan about court,” Gelsey said. “I just know everything is going to change once I go back. All the magazines will have pictures and I don’t want him to get caught up in that. He doesn’t deserve that.”
Jordan slipped her arm around Gelsey’s shoulders. “I think you should tell him. He would want to know.”
Gelsey forced a smile. They were right. She didn’t want to keep him in the dark any longer. Kellan would understand and he would see why she couldn’t make any commitments until after the last part of her past was dealt with.
“Can we just get back to your wedding plans?” Gelsey said, reaching out to grab Nan’s veil. “You need to put this on. Are you going to wear your hair up or down?”
Nan stared at her reflection in the mirror. “What do you think?”
“Down,” Gelsey said. Jordan seconded her choice. “But maybe with a bit of curl?”
Nan nodded. “I always expected that I’d be a bag of nerves before my wedding day, but I feel strangely calm.”
“You do?” Jordan said. “How can that be? I get nervous just looking at you.”
“I know I’m doing exactly the right thing,” Nan said, a serene expression on her face. “I have no doubts. I was meant to marry Riley, the same way you’re meant to marry Danny.”
“He hasn’t officially asked me yet,” Jordan said. “But I suspect there’s a proposal coming soon. He’s been acting weird lately. Staring at me all the time with this dopey smile on his face.” She shook her head and turned to Gelsey. “And then comes you and Kellan.”
“We’ll see about that,” Gelsey said. “It’s just not going to be as simple for us.”
“Do you love him?” Nan asked.
“I think I do. I tell myself I do, but I’ve never said it out loud. But then, I’ve fallen in love so many times, I’m not sure I really know how I’m supposed to feel. I guess I’m just waiting.”
“For what?” Jordan asked.
“I’m not sure. Maybe a sign? Or a moment of clarity? I don’t know what it is, but there has to be something that will make me sure of my feelings. Something that I never felt before with the others.”