“Just in time to shoot Brad, you mean.”
Puppa cradled his head in his hands as if weary. “I think she’s got problems with men.”
“That’s one way to put it. Plus she’s got control issues, a cold-blooded streak-”
“Enough. She’s suffered enough. You don’t need to heap on more condemnation.”
Humbled, I nodded. “You still love her, don’t you?”
“Never stopped.” He rubbed at a spot under his eye.
“I used to think she was a cancer in my brain, always there, always on my mind, growing over the years. I’d have done anything to have every memory, every thought of her surgically removed from my head. The idea of being with another woman turned my stomach. It was like she’d ruined me. It was Candice-or nobody. But after studying and praying and puzzling over it, I realized that I wasn’t infected with a cancer. I was infected with love. I love that woman unconditionally. She’s capable of murder, yet I still love her. When I realized she was involved with Majestic and the local drug trade, I wanted to be angry. I wanted to hate her. Maybe then I could stop wanting to be with her. Maybe then she’d be out of my head. But it made no difference. Since that night at the Watering Hole, I’ve tried to find her. I want to bring her home. Show her that I love her no matter what. If only she’d let me.”
He broke into tears, and then so did I, weeping beside him, my cloth napkin soaked in the by-products of grief.
Was I crying because I was sympathetic to his plight? I knew better. I cried because the woman he loved unconditionally took from me the man I loved unconditionally. My shoulders heaved and I struggled for air. My heart beat painfully, squeezed by some cruel hand inside my chest.
I loved my grandfather. I really did. But I couldn’t ignore my own torment. There was only one way to ease the pain of my broken heart.
I took a calming breath. At least now I knew what course I would take.
30
With a final swipe of napkin against nose, I crossed my arms and leaned back.
“I saw Officer Segerstrom today,” I said. “He suggested I lay low for a while.”
Puppa adjusted in his chair. “Going back into hiding?” He sounded too tired to care.
I nodded. “Guess you could say that.”
“Probably a good idea. There’s nothing worth fighting for here.”
I bit my tongue. Did he really think I was giving up on Brad? Did he really think I was giving up on the lodge? Maybe it was better to let him think that. He would certainly be more cooperative than if he knew what I actually had in mind.
Puppa scrunched his brow. “They found you in California. How about Cuba this time? I know a guy who keeps an apartment in Havana. Might be the perfect hangout for now.” He shook his head and made a face of disgust. “You’d think Frank Majestic would get sick of revenge. But I guess that’s all he knows.”
“Not Cuba,” I said. “I think I’ll try Canada this time. Always wanted to go there.”
Puppa got a startled look on his face. “What’s so interesting about Canada? It’s no different than here.”
I gave a shrug. “This whole Brad thing, the lodge thing… I don’t know. Makes me want to head to Canada.”
Puppa was slow to respond. “I guess Canada is as good a place as any. You’ll have to make sure you stay off the beaten track, though. Don’t want to leave a trail.”
“I’ll just go where the trail leads me.” I kept my voice nonchalant. Puppa didn’t need to know that last time I saw Candice, she mentioned her escape plans to Canada. With a little help from some friends, I might be able to track her down-and bring her to justice.
Would that change Brad’s mind about dying? Probably not. But it would help me stay focused on living. With my heart still crushed from my visit to River’s Edge this afternoon, and nothing better to do, I figured hunting down Candice LeJeune would give a feeling of purpose to my otherwise aimless existence.
“So,” I said, pushing my chair away from the table and clearing off my spot, “if you don’t mind, I need to borrow your computer.”
Puppa complied, a dazed look across his face as he set me up on his Internet connection.
“Thanks.” I tapped the keys, typing a greeting to Koby. Puppa hovered over my shoulder a minute, then left the room.
“How are Celia and Portia doing?” I asked first thing in the email. Then I got right to the point. “I need a favor,” I wrote. “I need help finding a missing person.” I was sure my grandfather had already used the means at his disposal to find Candice, but maybe Koby had a fresh approach up his sleeve that would pin her down. I gave him the rundown on Candice: full name, where she lived, where she was born, approximate age, physical description, occupation, the car she owned, and a fairly accurate account of why I wanted to find her, minus the revenge bit.
“I really hope you can help me,” I added. “She’s the love of my grandfather’s life. It’s kind of my Christmas present to him.” I cringed at my own duplicity even as I put grandfather’s phone number on the bottom to speed the process. Then I hit the Send button. With any luck Koby would be at his computer, able to hear the ding of new mail.
I paced the length of the lake house, dining room to living room and back, watching dusk disappear into night.
Puppa had turned the television on low and was laughing at some oddball detective and his daffy assistant as they went around LA solving murders. I wondered if they were astute enough to unravel the mystery of Jane Rigg’s death. Then again, they were just actors. Probably couldn’t do anything without a script.
An hour passed. The show ended with the bad guys getting carted off by the police and the detective conquering another personal challenge. Outside, the bay was covered by darkness. The only sight was my own reflection in the windows as I wore a path on the wood floor.
“Patricia, come sit. What are you so anxious about?” Puppa patted the open spot next to him on the love seat.
I stopped and fiddled with my hands. “Oh, just worried about Brad. I’m more and more convinced that he’ll never change course.” My voice hitched. “It’s hard, you know, accepting him giving up like this. I just don’t understand it.”
Puppa stood and came over to the windows, staring through his own image to the blackness beyond. “It is hard. But for Brad, it’s an understandable choice. Health was important to him. He’ll never have that again.”
The tension in my chest exploded. “It’s not understandable.” I was a mass of ranting rage. “Of course health was important to him. It’s important to everybody. But when something like that happens, you make the best of it. I know plenty of people who had bad things happen to them and they didn’t give up on life. They kept on living. They walked again even though they didn’t have legs. They worked again, even though they were stuck in a wheelchair. They loved again, even though their hearts had been cut out by greedy pimps.” I flung around and stared him in the eyes. “Brad’s choice is not understandable. And it’s not acceptable. But if that’s how he wants it, then Brad is safe from me. I can’t bear to see him like that. It kills me. And if there’s one thing I plan on doing, it’s living.”
Puppa stared at me, a dumbfounded look on his face.
I took a deep breath, gearing up for Act Two, when the phone rang. The digital tones jarred me out of my rampage.
Puppa answered and handed me the phone. “It’s for you.”
“Thanks.” I snuck off to Grandma Olivia’s old room and shut the doors.
“It’s Koby,” came the voice on the other end. “How are you holding up? You ditched us for the holidays, huh?” I tried to smile. “I’m doing good. But I need to get this item taken care of so I can get back to Del Gloria. How are Celia and Portia doing?”