“Well,” Monique said, “wherever you are, I’m going to visit.”
“You just want to go to the States,” Meagan said, a tease in her voice.
“Duh,” Monique replied. “And I want to see my big sis again.”
“I’d love to have you, Monique. All of you. Any of you. You’re all welcome wherever I end up.”
Dad made the turn to the terminal building. “We’ll take you up on that, honey. I only wish you didn’t have to leave so soon. We’ve got thirty-three years of catching up to do and we’ve covered, what? Two of them so far?”
He parked.
I held his hand and we walked into the building together. The others followed, bringing my suitcase.
Tearful goodbyes, and soon the plane was in the air, circling the lights below one last time before turning east to Goose Bay.
The travel home was grueling with far too much time to think. Busy enjoying my last moments with family, I’d barely noticed the lump on my head, the sore muscles, the cuts and bruises. But now they consumed my thoughts, along with guilt and remorse over Candice’s death, frustration at Brad, anger due to the fire in Del Gloria and the injuries to my friends, annoyance at Samantha and Joel for taking my house, and sorrow that I didn’t know when I’d get to see my dad, stepmom, and sisters again.
I popped acetaminophen like breath mints until I was safely back in Michigan airspace. My final connection touched down late afternoon, two days after I left Churchill Falls. I rented a car for the trip back to Port Silvan, glad to have the freedom of my own wheels the next few days before flying back to Del Gloria. I could visit Brad and take care of loose ends without inconveniencing Puppa, who’d already bent over backward to accommodate my resurrection. Besides, I’d left my grandfather with the impression I’d taken up permanent residence in Churchill Falls. I had enough explaining to do.
The familiar backdrop of snow-covered pines whizzed past on the highway. Most of all, I dreaded telling Puppa of Candice. His words rang in my head: “not infected with cancer… infected with love.” How would I tell him his love was dead?
And what of my love?
Rapid River, then Silvan Corners. The drive flew by, my mind no closer to a strategy for dealing with Brad, college, or the lodge. Cupid’s Creek, the sign for the cider mill. Then the blink-and-you-miss-it drive through Port Silvan.
I pressed on the gas at the curve out of town. A mile up, I slowed at Puppa’s white fences, turning down the driveway to the lake house.
He was at the door, a surprised look on his face, as I walked across the porch.
“What happened? Are you okay?” He hugged me, then ushered me to the living room.
“Long story,” I said. “Do you have any tea?”
“I’ll make a pot. Sit.” He left the room.
I stared out the bank of windows at the snow-globe scene on the other side of the bay, with its row of cottages on the shore and church steeple in the distance.
In a moment Puppa joined me.
“Tell me everything,” he said.
“Not sure you want to hear everything.” I blinked back tears. “It’s not all good.”
But somehow I made it through the detailed version of Candice showing up at the hotel room, my dash to warn Dad of trouble, meeting the sisters I never knew I had, the near-death experience at the plant, and Candice’s final act of love toward Puppa’s family.
Somewhere between Simon Scroll showing up and Candice falling into the river, the teapot whistled. Puppa set us up with two cups and urged me to continue.
He hadn’t said a word during my entire monologue. And now, as I wrapped up the details of the missing Jacob Russo’s life, Puppa just sat there, tears streaming down his cheeks while he listened.
When I was done, Puppa shook his head. “My boy turned into a fine man. I’m glad you got to meet him, Patricia.”
I sniffled and wiped at my eyes. “Me too. And I know you will again someday.”
From his seat in Grandma Olivia’s rocker, Puppa stared into the distance. “That’s not so important anymore. All God’s promises came to be. He took care of Jacob when I couldn’t. He took care of you when Jacob couldn’t. And-” he stopped to gain control over his voice-“He even took care of Candice, giving her another chance to make things right before she died.” He wiped his hand across his brow, then covered his face.
I watched him fight his grief, then finally succumb. I gave him a moment alone, then walked over and joined him, crying on his shoulder as I hugged him from above.
He patted my hand. “At least we have each other, Patricia. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t in my life.” Memories of Grandma Amble’s guilt-grip over me flooded my mind. I took a deep breath. “I know how hard this must be for you. You thought you lost me, then you lost your mother, and now Candice.” I stepped back. “It’s going to hurt for a long time. Maybe the rest of your life. But I’ve got to move on with mine.” My future plans suddenly became crystal clear. “I’m going back to Del Gloria in a few days to finish up my degree. It’s not going to slip through my fingers this time.”
He looked at me, confusion, or maybe abandonment written on his face. “That’s not what I expected. I thought now that it’s safe enough to stay, you would…,” he paused as if searching for a delicate way to put it, “you would at least stick around for Brad’s sake.”
I sat on the chair across from him, excited at the clarity cropping up in my plans. “On the way home, I asked myself what I could do that would change Brad’s mind about dying. What could I do that would make him want to live? And I decided that it’s out of my control. It’s really his decision.” I leaned forward, my hands emphasizing my words. “All I can do is show by my example how to choose life. That means I can’t give up on my dreams because someone I love is suffering. That means I move forward with my own plans, cheering him on should he decide to join the living again. It means taking the risk that I could lose him by not catering to his depression. And being even more grateful in the end if we pull through it together.”
Puppa stared at me. “What are they teaching you in California?”
I sat in momentary horror that he disapproved of my reasoning.
A smile broke out on his face. “You’re doing it, aren’t you? You’re figuring life out. I think you may have already passed up this old man in the maturity department. I’m really proud of you, Patricia.” Puppa crouched beside me, taking my chin in his hand. “I think that’s the spirit Brad fell in love with. And it’s exactly what he needs to see now, if he’s going to survive.”
I leaned my forehead against his. “It’s going to be really hard. Every instinct is screaming, ‘Stay and take care of him.’ But,” I shook my head, “that’s not the right thing for either one of us. We’d just feed off each other’s weaknesses until we destroyed every bit of love between us, like what happened between me and Grandma Amble.” Another deep breath. “This way, we stay strong for each other, building each other up as we conquer the obstacles in our own lives. We’ll fight a common enemy instead of making each other the enemy.”
Puppa looked baffled. “Who taught you that?”
I shrugged.
“You’re going to make it, Patricia. You’re going to do just fine.”
“Thanks, Puppa. I probably would have made it anyway. But now I can make it in style.” I scratched my head, grasping for a term that escaped me. “What’s the word used in the Bible?”
“Abundance,” Puppa said. “Now you can live an abundant 340 life.”
“That’s the word I was looking for. I think for me it means a life without fear. I’m sick of deciding stuff based on fear. One thing I’ve figured out-God is with me even if I make a big mistake. And while I want to make the best decisions possible, I don’t have to be afraid of every possible outcome. It’s still His world in the end. And His will.”