The woman leaned close and whispered in her ear, "Let's go in the back."
Huh? The woman's hot breath against her sensitive ear added to the already pounding pulse between Jess's thighs and made it hard to think clearly. She allowed the blonde to lead her toward the back of the room.
They stepped into a hallway that had doors lining each side. One of the doors opened, and a couple stumbled out laughing and hastily straightening their clothes.
Realization dawned.
Jess's feet felt as if they were suddenly glued to the floor.
The woman tugged at her hand. Her dark brown eyes were filled with desire. "Come on, baby." She cupped her own breast.
Jess's long-denied libido surged. Fuck it. I'm not hurting anyone. We're both adults. Jess grinned. She grasped the woman's hand and pulled her into the first open doorway she found. It turned out to be a small bathroom.
Once inside, Jess began to fondle the woman's breasts. After Jess pulled the woman's hand off her breast again, she seemed to get the hint and allowed Jess to lead. Finally unleashed, Jess's libido was firmly in control. Continuing to kiss the blonde's neck, she quickly unzipped the woman's pants. Jess closed her eyes as she slipped her hand inside the woman's underwear. Oh yeah. Her hand stroked down a tight abdomen, heading for her heat. Just before Jess reached her goal, an image formed in her mind's eye.
Warm caring blue eyes held her captive.
Oh God. Kim.
Jess froze.
"Don't stop."
The woman's voice brought her back to reality.
A wave of nausea washed away every trace of arousal. Jess jerked her hand out of the woman's pants. "I'm sorry. I can't —" Heartsick at what she had almost done, Jess fled.
* * *
Sam stepped out of the bathroom just in time to see Jess do the same a little farther up the hall. "Hey, Jess!"
Jess glanced back.
Sam got a brief glimpse of her stricken expression before Jess turned and took off at a trot. Before Sam could react, the door opened again and the woman Jess had danced with stepped out, tucking her shirt into her pants. The implications were staggering. Holy shit! No way! Sam took off after Jess.
Sam scanned the bar, trying to spot Jess. She moved to the back corner where they had been sitting. The table was occupied, but not by Jess. Where the hell did she go? Worry ratcheted up a notch.
Going on a hunch, Sam headed for the bar entrance. She stepped outside and quickly spotted Jess. She was sitting on the short concrete wall that separated the bar's parking lot from the one next door. Jess's head was down, and she had her face buried in her hands.
"Hey, sis," Sam said as she moved to sit next to her. "What's wrong?"
Jess remained immobile.
"I saw the blonde."
With a heavy sigh, Jess looked up.
Oh Jess. Shock rippled through Sam at the despair etched on Jess's face. Sam wrapped a consoling arm across Jess's shoulders. "Hey now. It can't be that bad. What happened?"
"It doesn't make any sense. It's stupid." Jess's hands dropped to her thighs. She kneaded the material of her jeans.
Giving Jess's shoulder a comforting squeeze, Sam said, "Let's not go there again." Relief loosened the tightness of her chest when a smile ghosted across Jess's face. "You know you can tell me anything."
"I know." Jess sighed. She straightened up, and Sam removed her arm. "I got hot dancing with the blonde. We went into one of the bathrooms." Jess rubbed her face. "Christ, Sam, I had my hand in the woman's pants!" She shot her sister an embarrassed look.
"And?"
"Just before I touched her, I got this picture of Kim in my mind. It was so clear it was like she was in the room with us. I couldn't go through with it." Jess shook her head roughly. "It felt like I was cheating."
"But, Jess, you're not —"
"You think I don't know that?" Jess fisted the hair at her temples. "I know it's ridiculous. We're just friends."
"But you want to be more," Sam said.
Jess slumped. "You know I can't..." She sighed heavily.
The defeated look in Jess's eyes kept Sam from protesting. There has got to be more to it than the fact that they work together holding Jess back. As she had many times in the past, Sam wondered about Jess's trust issues. "What are you going to do, Jess?"
A single tear trailed down Jess's face. "I wish to God I knew."
CHAPTER 20
"HEY DR. DONOVAN. You're here early," Penny said as Kim walked by the nurses' station.
Kim approached the counter where Penny stood. She set down a cardboard tray with coffee and pastries "Good morning. Did you have a nice holiday?" She glanced around, hoping to spot Jess.
"Yes." Penny beamed. "How about you, did you spend Thanksgiving with anyone special?"
Oh, here we go again. Penny frequently attempted to find out if she was involved with anyone. Well aware of Penny's interest in her, Kim tried to discourage it. Normally, she would have ignored the question since all of her free time these days was spent with Jess. And there was no way in hell she would ever tell anyone that. But in this case, she didn't think it would hurt to give out a little information about her private life. "I spent my day serving meals at a homeless shelter."
"Oh." Penny looked a bit stymied, then she smiled brightly. "Well, of course, I would do something like that in a minute if I could. But with my family over for the holiday and all, my mom needed me."
Right. Sure you would. Kim had been surprised when she learned that Penny was only a few years her junior. She acted much younger. Penny wasn't shy about discussing her personal life. In conversations around the nurses' station, Kim had discovered that Penny still lived with her parents. More remarkably to Kim, Penny didn't seem the least bit embarrassed that her mother still did her laundry, cleaned her room, and cooked her meals. Kim was willing to bet Penny had not lifted a finger to help out at Thanksgiving.
Kim picked up her tray off the counter. "Well, page me if you need me." With that she turned and headed toward Jess's office.
Finding Jess's door locked, Kim let herself in with the key Jess had given her. She glanced around the office that had over the last few weeks come to feel like her office as much as Jess's. She set the tray down on the desk. A sigh escaped. There was no sign that Jess had arrived yet.
Okay. I'm anxious to see my friend. So what? There's nothing wrong with that. She blew out a breath. Be honest with yourself, Kim, if no one else. One thing their time apart had made crystal clear to Kim was that she could no longer delude herself as to the depth of her feelings for Jess. She had missed Jess with an intensity that had shocked her. It was as if a vital part of herself had been missing.
Kim was startled out of her thoughts by the opening of the office door. Her heart soared at the sight of Jess.
Jess stepped into the room. A bright smile blossomed when she spotted Kim. "Hi." The door swung shut behind her.
All the loneliness and longing Kim had struggled with for the past four days overwhelmed her. Kim crossed the room, and before she realized what she was doing, she enveloped Jess in a hug. "Welcome back." Reality struck like lightening when she came into contact with Jess's stiff body. You idiot! "Sorry," Kim stammered and pulled back.
Jess's arms wrapped around her, stopping Kim's retreat.
Kim's heart rate shot into overdrive when Jess pulled her close and returned the hug. The warmth of Jess's body drew her in. When Jess didn't immediately let go, Kim had to fight the urge to bury her face in Jess's neck. A tantalizing scent she couldn't put a name to teased her senses. Her arms instinctively tightened around Jess's back. A single powerful thought filled her mind. Home.