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Last But Not Least

by Robert J. Sawyer

Matt stood in the field on the bitter October morning. The wind’s icy fingers reached right through Matt’s skin to chill his bones. It was crazy that Mr. Donner made them wear their gym shorts on a day like today—but if Donner had any compassion in him, any humanity, any kindness at all, Matt had never seen it.

“I’ll take Spalding.”

“Gimme Chen. ”

Last week, Matt had tried to get out of phys. ed. class by pretending he’d lost his gym shorts; he’d put his own shorts in the school’s lost and found. But Donner had an extra pair he lent him—and he said if Matt showed up without shorts again, he’d make him take the class in his underwear.

“I pick Oxnard.”

“I’ll take Modigliani.”

Matt didn’t mind being outdoors, and he didn’t mind getting some exercise, but he hated phys. ed.—hated it as much as he hated it when his parents fought; when he had to go to the dentist; when that dog over on Parkhurst came chasing after him.

He knew he was scrawny, knew he was uncoordinated. But did he have to be humiliated because of it? Made to feel like a total loser?

“Johnson.”

“Peelaktoak..”

There were twenty-four boys in Matt’s gym class. Today they were playing soccer. But it didn’t matter what the sport was; it always worked the same way. Mr. Donner would pick two students to be captain.

And then the ritual would begin.

“Gimme Van Beek.”

“Takahashi.”

The captains would take turns picking from the other students to create the two teams.

Matt understood the sick, evil logic of it alclass="underline" twenty-four kids wasn’t a big group. If you just took the first dozen alphabetically and made them one team, and had the second dozen be the other team, you might end up with two unevenly matched sides.

But this way…

This humiliating, mortifying way…

This way supposedly ensured fairness, supposedly made sure the teams would be equal, made sure that the game would be exciting, that everyone would have a good time.

Everyone except those who were picked last, that is.

“Becquerel.”

“Bergstrom.”

Matt’s big brother, Alf, was in law school. Alf said students fought hard for ranking in their classes. If you got the highest mark—if you finished first—you’d get a million-dollar contract from a huge law firm. If you finished last, well, Alf said maybe it would be time to think about another career. The stress on Alf was huge; Matt could see that every time his brother came home for a weekend. But Alf had chosen that stress, had chosen to be judged and ranked.

But phys. ed. wasn’t something Matt had decided he wanted to take; he had to take it. Whether he liked it or not, he had to subject himself to this torture.

“Bonkowski.”

Matt was the only one left now, and Cartwright, the other captain, didn’t even bother to call out his name. Cartwright’s rolled eyes said it alclass="underline" he wasn’t picking Matt Sinclair—he just happened to be the last guy left.

Matt blew out a heavy sigh. It was cold enough that he could see his breath form a frosty cloud.

Science class. The class Matt excelled in.

“And the process by which plants convert sunlight into food is called… ?” Mr. Pope looked out at the students, sitting in pairs behind black-topped lab desks.

Matt raised his hand.

“Yes, Matthew?”

“Photosynthesis,” he said.

“That’s right, Matthew. Very good. Now, although they both undergo photosynthesis, there are two very different types of trees. There are evergreens and the other kind, the kind that loses its leaves each fall. And that kind is called… ?”

Matt’s hand shot into the air again.

“Anybody besides Matthew know?” asked Mr. Pope.

Blank faces all around. Matt smiled to himself. Why don’t we arrange all the students in here, putting them in order by how intelligent they are? Take the smartest person first—which, well, gee, that would be Matt, of course—then the next smartest, then the one after that, right down to—oh, say, down to Johnson over there. Johnson was always an early pick in gym class, but if we made selections here in science class, he’d be the one left until the end every time.

“All right,” said Mr. Pope, “since no one else seems to know, Matthew, why don’t you enlighten your classmates?”

“Deciduous,” Matt said, proudly.

“Browner,” whispered the girl behind him. And “Brainiac” said Eddy Bergstrom, siting at the next desk.

It wasn’t fair, thought Matt. They cheer when someone makes a goal. Why can’t they cheer when someone gets an answer right?

This time, things would be different. This time, Mr. Donner had selected Paul Chandler, Matt’s best friend, to be one of the team captains.

Matt felt himself relaxing. For once in his life, he wouldn’t be last.

Paul called out his first pick. Esaki—a good choice. Esaki wasn’t the strongest guy in the class, but he was one of the most agile.

The other captain, Oxnard, made his initial selection: Ehrlich. An obvious pick; Ehrlich towered half a head above everyone else.

Paul again: “Gimme Spalding.”

Well, that made sense. Spalding was the biggest bully in school. Paul had to pick him early on, lest he risk being beaten up on the way home.

Oxnard’s turn: “I’ll take Modigliani.”

Pauclass="underline" “Ng.”

Paul was playing it cool; that was good. It wouldn’t do to take Matt too early—everyone would know that Paul was choosing him just because they were best friends.

“Let me have… Vanier,” Oxnard said.

Paul made a show of surveying the remaining students. “Papadatos,” he said.

Matt’s heart was beginning to sink. Paul couldn’t humiliate him the way the others had. Surely he would pick him in the next round.

“Herzberg.”

“Peelaktoak.”

Or the round after that…

“Becquerel”

“Johnson.”

Or…

“Van Beek.”

“Dowling.”

But no—

No, it was going to be the same as always.

Paul—his friend—had left him for last, just as everyone else always did.

Matt felt his stomach churning.

At lunch, Paul sat down opposite Matt in the cafeteria. “Hey, Matt,” he said.

Matt focussed all his attention on his sandwich—peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat, cut in half diagonally.

“Earth to Matt!” said Paul. “Helll-ooo!”

Matt looked up. He kept his voice low; he didn’t want the others sitting nearby to hear. “Why didn’t you pick me in gym class?”

“I did pick you,” protested Paul.

“Yeah. Last.”

Paul seemed to consider this, as if realizing for the first time that Matt might have taken his actions as a betrayal. “Hey, Matt-o, I’m sorry, man. But it was probably my only time getting to be a captain all year, you know? And I wanted a good team.”

A miracle occurred.

Matt was picked—not for a team, not by one of his classmates. No, no—this was better. Much better. Matt had been picked by Mr. Donner to be one of the team captains. The game today was football; Matt didn’t know much about it, except that some of the other boys had snickered when he’d once referred to a gain of ten meters, instead of ten yards. In theory, they would be playing touch football, but in reality—