3.13.12
“‘Often he returns, neck broken, shank snapped, jaw dislocate, eyes bloodshot, money gone — a parlous state—and the first thing out of her mouth, before any greeting’s made, is, “What present have you bought, and how many a gift and geegaw have you brought?” Even if you clothe her in a robe befitting Būrān,145 put her up in the palace of Ghumdān,146 feed her the most exquisite foods, offer her nectar from the hands of lovely lads and serenade her with ouds, take her for picnics to the flowery meadows of Paradise, carry her on your shoulders and do for her everything that’s nice, you’ll never find her satisfied or willing to ensure that you too are gratified. And woe to you should you approach fifty and lose your capacity to provide, or white hairs show in your sideburns when you’re forty, or an illness afflict you at any tide; then she’ll act as bold as any boy or brazen lad and proposition any man, willing or not, who may be had. She’ll leave you in bed exhausted and, seated by the window, signal from it to any who may obey her pronto, indicating, “From Fate this occasion snatch; there’s no catch, since he’s in bed, unconscious and unaware and can’t see who’s with me here.” Then she’ll tell him, “Make your will, you, for your end is near, visitors and bed alike are fed up that you’re still there, neither doctors nor friends any longer care.” And — as you well know, married man — it’s well within her power a trick on him to play and take, should she desire, a new lover each day; she’ll find him behind the door all ready and waiting, ever energetic, always returning, a lover frenetic, her hook to get him a wink of the eye, her desire from him a milky burst to extinguish her raging thirst. Men are not so made, for they’re ever busy at their trade, as though their worries had them roped and trussed with cord, or they’re fearful of spending money they can’t afford, or of deflation or premature ejaculation. How then can it be said that men and women have, for the bearing of life’s burdens, equal responsibility, in withstanding its injustices equal accountability? Can any among you resolve my perplexity?’
3.13.13
“At this the one who’d attacked women without distinction147 confronted him and said, ‘Here’s your answer, delivered at speed, so pay it heed, and with the truth be agreed. I didn’t attack women for being better off than us and less subject to bane, or more likely to enjoy pleasures and delights obtain, but rather for creating dissension and leading us astray, for causing torment and making us pay. What I said of them then, I said while jealous; what I say now I say in a spirit of good sense and inquiry zealous. A woman, so long as she, a maid, in her parents’ house is hidden, to emerge forbidden, has not one friend, not one intimate with whom to unbend. All the while though, her brother sports and frolics, capers and rollicks, travels and sees the world, makes friends with whomever he pleases and keeps company with whomever he chooses; and the more he gets to laugh, the happier and more joyful his father on his behalf.
3.13.14
“‘Then, when she weds, she can do nothing her husband forbids; now it’s he who has her at his beck and call and whatever she does, he’s responsible for all. She can scarce leave her house without his permission and does nothing without first confirming his lack of prohibition. If he tells her, “You have my consent,” he does it as though graciously bestowing on her the inheritance left him by his sire, and if he says, “You do not,” she returns pitiful as a saint, burning with chagrin like a fire. In addition, for fear of his brutality she has to mollify his mood, take care of his bag and baggage, cook each day whatever he proposes by way of food, make new any old things of his he may throw her way, look after his bed and bedding, provide for his wants, and raise his brood. How many a night she spends coddling them while they fill the place with their squawking, squalling, and bawling, for it is she who cleans them and weans them,148 handles them and dandles them, cuddles them and swaddles them, jiggles them and juggles them, dresses them and caresses them, pats them and pets them, wipes them and gripes them,
warms them and tulbiʾ them,
albaʾa means “to feed on libaʾ,” which are beestings
tudaʾdiʾ them and tuhdiʾ them,
daʾdaʾah means “moving and quieting,” and ihdāʾ means “quieting”
tuzaqziq them and tubāghim them,
zaqzaqah means “making dance” (synonym zahzaqah), and mubāghamah has been mentioned above.149
turabbit them and tuhamhim them,
tarbīt means “lightly striking the child’s side with one’s hand to make it sleep,” and hamhamah means “a woman’s sending a child to sleep with her voice”
tuhadhid them and turaʿʿim them
“hadhada the child” means “he moved it to send it to sleep,” and tarʿīm has been mentioned above150
jests with them or sports with them, hums to them, or tuqārib them,
qāraba means “he spoke quietly to it with pleasant words”
tuhaddin or taṣrab them,
haddana means “he gave the child what it wanted” and ṣarb is “tying a child’s belly so that it gets fat”