“Then you’re going to be in for a hell of a surprise.”
“Am I?” Carella asked.
“I can guarantee it.”
“You’re pretty set on killing yourself, huh, Blanche?”
“Really, must I listen to this?” she said. “Won’t you please, please go away?”
“No. I don’t think you want to die. I’m afraid you’ll fall off that ledge and hurt yourself and some of the people down below, too.”
“I want to die,” the girl said softly.
“Why?”
“You really want to know why?”
“Yes. I’d really like to know.”
“Because,” she said slowly and clearly, “I am lonely, and unloved, and unwanted.” She nodded, and then turned her head because her eyes had suddenly flooded with tears, and she did not want Carella to see them.
“A pretty girl like you, huh? Lonely, and unloved, and unwanted. How old are you, Blanche?”
“Twenty-two.”
“And you never want to get to be twenty-three, huh?”
“I never want to get to be twenty-three.” she repeated tonelessly. “I don’t want to get another minute older, not another second older. I want to die. Won’t you please leave me alone to die?”
“Stop it, stop it,” Carella said chidingly. “I don’t like to hear that kind of talk. Dying, dying, you’re twenty-two years old! You’ve got your whole life ahead of you.
“Nothing,” she said.
“Nothing. He’s gone, there’s nothing, he’s gone.”
“Who?”
“Nobody. Everybody. Oh! Oh!” She put one hand to her face suddenly and began weeping into it. With the other hand, she clung to the building, swaying. Carella leaned further out of the window, and she turned to him sharply and shouted, “Don’t come near me!”
“I wasn’t…”
“Don’t come out here!”
“Look, take it easy. I wouldn’t come out there if you gave me a million dollars.”
“All right. Stay where you are. If you come near me, I’ll jump.”
“Yeah, and who’s gonna care if you do, Blanche?”
“What?”
“If you jump, if you die, you think anyone’ll care?”
“No, I… I know that. No one’ll care. I… I’m not worried about that.”
“You’ll be a two-line blurb on page four, and then nothing. Nothing lasts a long time.
“I don’t care, Oh, please, won’t you please leave me alone? Can’t you understand?”
“No, I can’t. I wish you’d explain it to me.”
The girl swallowed and nodded, and then turned to him and slowly and patiently said, “He’s gone, do you see?”
“Who’s gone?”
“Does it matter? He. A man. And he’s gone. Goodbye, Blanche, it’s been fun. That’s all. Fun. And I…” Her eyes suddenly flared. “Damn you, I don’t want to live! I don’t want to live without him!”
“There are other men.”
“No.” She shook her head. “No. I loved him. I love him. I don’t want any other men. I want…”
“Come on in,” Carella said. “We’ll have a cup of coffee, and we’ll try to…”
“No.”
“Come on, come on. You’re not going to jump off that damn ledge. You’re just wasting everybody’s time. Now, come on.”
“I’m going to jump.
“Sure, but not right now, huh? Some other time. Next week maybe, next year. But we’re very busy today. The kids are turning on fire hydrants all over the city. Spring is here, Blanche. Do me a favor and jump some other time, okay?”
“Go to hell,” she said, and then looked dawn to the street.
“Blanche?”
She did not answer.
“Blanche?” Carella sighed and turned to Parker. He whispered something in Parker’s ear, and Parker nodded and left the window.
“You remind me a little of my wife,” Carella said to the girl. She did not answer. “Really, my wife. Teddy. She’s a deaf-mute. She…”
“A what?”
“A mute. Born deaf and dumb.” Carella smiled. “You think you’ve got problems? How’d you like to be deaf and dumb and married to a cop besides?”
“Is she really… deaf and dumb?”
“Sure.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. She never even thinks of throwing herself off a building.”
“I… I wasn’t going to do it this way,’’ the girl said. “I was going to take sleeping pills. That’s why I put on the nightgown. But… I wasn’t sure I had enough. I had only half a bottle. Would that have been enough?”
“Enough to make you sick,” Carella said. “Come on in, Blanche. I’ll tell you all about the time I almost slashed my wrists.”
“You never did.”
“I almost did, I swear to God. Look, everybody feels like hell every once in a while. What happened? Did you get your period today?”
“Wh… ? How… how did you know?”
“I figured. Come on.”
“No.”
“Come on, Blanche.”
“No! Stay away from me!”
From inside the apartment, there came the sudden shrill ring of a telephone. The sound was clearly heard by the girl. She turned her head for a moment, and then closed her mind to the ringing phone. Carella pretended surprise. He had sent Parker downstairs to call the girl’s number, but now he pretended the ringing was unexpected. Quietly, he said, “Your phone’s ringing.”
“I’m not home.”
“It might be important.”
“It isn’t.”
“It might be… him.”
“He’s in California. It’s not him. I don’t care who it is.” She paused. Again, she said, “He’s in California.”
“They have phones in California, you know,” Carella said.
“It’s… it’s not him.”
“Why don’t you answer it and find out?”
“I know it isn’t him! Leave me alone!”
“You want us to answer this?” someone in the apartment shouted.
“She’s coming,” Carella said. He extended his hand to the girl. The telephone kept ringing behind him. “Take my hand, Blanche,” he said.
“No. I’m going to jump.”
“You’re not going to jump. You’re going to come inside and answer your telephone.
“No! I said no!”
“Come on, you’re getting me sore,” Carella shouted. “Are you just a stupid broad, is that what you are? You want to squash your brains on that sidewalk? It’s made of cement, Blanche! That’s not a mattress down there.”
“I don’t care. I’m going to jump.”