"No, kung fu."
The Master of Sinanju spat on the floor. "Stolen from us," he said.
"Maybe so," said the Vice-President. "But it looks like he improved upon the original."
"A fluke," hissed Chiun. "Why, with my finger, I could render this pretty boy a writhing bag of suet. Look at him. He is fat."
"Looks like muscle to me," said the Vice-President. "Who sent you, my friend?"
"I will tell you later, when there is no one to overhear us," Adonis said, nodding in Remo and Chiun's direction. Remo and Chiun exchanged glances.
"Say the word, Little Father, and I'll settle this guy's hash," Remo growled.
The Vice-President said, "You'll do nothing of the kind. This man has been sent here to guard me. He's proven he can do it. You two get lost. I don't need you anymore."
"We are charged with protecting your person," said the Master of Sinanju, drawing himself up proudly.
"You're through, washed up. You're both has-beens. Tell Smith I said that. And tell him there'll be an investigation of this business. I don't think it's a coincidence that you two immobilized my Secret Service protection just before I was attacked. This whole thing smells like a setup to me. Take out my bodyguards with one hand while you let in the assassins with the other."
The Master of Sinanju puffed out his cheeks in anger. "He has insulted Sinanju!" he cried. "For that I will-"
Remo got in his way. "No, Little Father. Do you want to make things worse?"
"There, see! The little guy wants to kill me!" the Vice-President said triumphantly. "That's proof."
Adonis stepped in front of the Master of Sinanju. "Do not fear. He will not harm a hair on your head as long as I'm here."
"The final insult," said Chiun, practically jumping up and down. "A kung-fu dancer threatens the Master of Sinanju!"
Remo took Chiun by his frail shoulders.
"Calm down, will you?" he pleaded. "Look, let's just go. We're not wanted here."
"You are not needed here, either," Adonis taunted.
"We'll see about you later," said Remo, guiding Chiun to the elevator.
"Be sure to tuck him in. He looks very old," Adonis called mockingly.
Remo had to use all his strength to get the Master of Sinanju into the elevator. He wondered how he was going to explain this to Smith.
Chapter 12
"We are disgraced," said the Master of Sinanju.
"Cut it out, Chiun. I don't want to hear it."
They were walking along Pennsylvania Avenue. Remo found a phone booth near the Treasury Building.
"Hold on," Remo said, slipping into the booth.
The Master of Sinanju looked at him critically. "What are you doing?"
"Reporting to Smith."
Chiun snatched the phone out of Remo's hands and severed the cord with a vicious fingernail slice.
"Chiun!" Remo said.
"Are you mad? Report to Smith!"
"What else do you want me to do? We report to Smith. He tells us what we should do next."
"Tell him! Tell him what?"
"Why, what happened, of course."
"The truth! You are mad. In the history of Sinanju, no Master has ever told the complete truth to an emperor. It is unheard of."
"You want me to lie?"
"No, but in situations such as this, one must be diplomatic. "
"You want me to lie, " said Remo, looking for another phone. There was one adjoining the first booth.
"I do not want you to lie," said Chiun. "But I think we should not jump into the truth too swiftly, like a foolish man who wades out into a treacherous surf, unaware of currents and drop-offs. "
Remo lifted the receiver. Then he remembered that he didn't have a quarter on him. In fact, he had no money at all. He turned to the Master of Sinanju and instantly dismissed the idea of asking him directly for the quarter.
"Tell you what, Little Father," Remo said solicitously. "You make the call."
"I will. But let us get our story straight before we plunge in. "
"Tell him whatever you want," said Remo, handing Chiun the receiver.
"I do not know the stupid codes," said Chiun.
"Make you a deal. You put the quarter in the slot and I'll work the security code."
"Done," said the Master of Sinanju, removing a red wallet from an inside pocket and extracting a quarter from it. He dropped the coin in the slot, holding the receiver tight to one ear while Remo punched the buttons.
Remo always hated the codes. He could never remember them, and since he was no longer an official CURE employee, he no longer tried. The last time he had used the code, it had been a continuous one. Remo pressed the one button and held it down. He asked Chiun, "Have you got him yet? He should be coming on about now."
"No," said the Master of Sinanju. "I am instead listening to some woman claiming to tell me the correct time. She is off by two seconds." Chiun hung up.
"What'd you hang up for? That was Smith."
"Has Smith become a woman?"
"No, the telephone signal goes through the phone system's correct-time service. Smith comes on after the weather."
"He should have come on before the woman."
"Let's try again, shall we?"
"Your quarter this time," said Chiun.
"I'll have to owe it to you," sighed Remo.
"And I will have to charge you interest," countered Chiun, dropping another quarter into the slot. Remo leaned on the one button. After a moment Chiun began to chatter anxiously.
"It is not my fault, Emperor Smith. I tried. Even Remo tried. We could not help what happened. I hope you will keep our past record of success in mind at the next contract signing, for when deciding such important matters it is always wise to keep the total service of a Master of Sinanju in mind."
"What are you telling him?" asked Remo, grabbing the phone. "What happened to breaking the news gently?"
"I am beside myself with worry. Never has such a thing happened."
"Right," said Remo. Into the phone he said, "Hello, Smitty? "
Harold Smith's voice was dead and flat like that of a man speaking from the grave.
"Remo, please don't tell me that the Vice-President is dead."
"No, he's not dead," Remo said. "How badly is he wounded?"
"He's not."
"Then what was Chiun babbling about?" Smith wanted to know, his voice rising.
"I'll make it short," Remo said. "There was another attack. Middle Easterners again. Chiun and I got two of them, but one got past us."
"Around us," Chiun said loudly enough to be heard three blocks away. "He did not get past us."
"He got to the Vice-President before we could. Then someone else got to him. Some muscle-bound kung-fu clown. "
"As fierce a warrior as I have ever before seen," yelled Chiun. "Swift he was, and deadly of hand and eye. Also, he cheated. He climbed in through a window instead of using the front door like a civilized bodyguard."
Remo just looked at Chin blankly. Chiun subsided into silence.
"As I was saying," Remo went on, still looking at Chiun's worried face, "this guy beat us to the punch. He took out the last killer. Claimed he's the Vice-President's new bodyguard, but wouldn't say who sent him until we were out of the room."
"I see," said Smith. "I assume you're calling from Blair House to request an identity check on this new element?"
"Not exactly," said Remo. "We're out on the street. The Vice-President kicked us out."
"Kicked-"
"Yeah, he thought this kung-fu surfer was great shakes. He also thinks we took out his Secret Service protection just so the terrorists could get a clear shot at him. I think he blamed you, Smitty."
"Me?" Smith's voice was sick.
"He was yelling about an investigation, charges. Says we're all washed up."
"Think of plausibility," yelled Chiun. "It is not too late. I will be as your Colonel South. I have many neat ideas."
"What are you babbling about?" asked Remo.