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I had to touch him and see if it was real. My tiny fingers lightly ran themselves up and down the base of his penis.

Bravely, I even reached down, and tickled the pubic hairs that surrounded his testicles. His breath became ragged as I continued running my fingers through his pubic hairs. Realizing that if I continued my exploration, he might ejaculate. I stopped until his breathing became more regular. I just had to know if what the other girls said was true about the taste of semen. Would I be able to make him perform without his waking up? Was cum actually salty? Why did they say it was sticky?

This must be why women can have total control over a man, as least in the bedroom. If I could control him, I could learn to control anything that came up against me in life. But could he orgasm without having intercourse? Was what I was doing classified as having sex? Only a few people might say yes, many would argue the other way. Yet wasn't sex the actual act of intercourse? Couldn't two people enjoy each other's company intimately without actual penetration?

There were too many thoughts running through my head. I felt like I was angry with all the people in the world. Why wasn't life just plain and simple? Why do we have to hide everything we do as if it is wrong? Why did we even have to wear clothes?

It seemed like only the rich could wear fancy clothes and if no one wore any, then we'd have to classify people for what they were instead of what they wore. Are these thoughts wrong?

What is wrong? Some say that a woman's body is a temple, while others state it's a receptacle. Some men could be so cruel, while others were so nice. It was then I came to the realization that it would only be resolved if I decided herself. Each of us are individuals and no one is the same. The best decisions may be okay for the majority, yet that still meant that some minorities would still be hurt. True one should save themselves for marriage, yet in this day and age of divorce and separation and abuse, what is the reasoning for loosing so many years of a life, saving for that one special person, just to have them leave later? What about disease? Couldn't that be God's way of punishing those who do not abstain? Yet didn't God give us this urge to explore and be intimate? He didn't just have us 'reproduce'! It's true, most girls mature physically more than mentally, but hadn't I really been the one in charge of our household since both of my own parents were away at work most of time? I felt that I was much more mentally fit then most adults would admit. The fact was, I was probably more mature than many adults I knew.

I made my decision in one felled swoop. I knew that I pondered on the answer I would give myself many times in the past, if the chance ever arose, it would be this. I would insure that any man I might explore the facts of life with, would have to follow the ground rules we both set forth. With neither of us going too far and yet far enough to satisfy each other. This would allow me to be true to the way I had been raised and yet true to myself.

Doesn't a flower bloom and share its beauty, before the petals fall off to allow it to seed before dying?

Dear Diary,

I can remember back when I was seven and Tommy, the boy next door and I played “I'll show you mine if you show me yours.”

I can remember wondering why I had been born without a penis like him. Now I am glad that I am a woman. We seem to have the better deal. I remember touching Tommy's little echo of penis, and even at his early years, he had gotten a hard-on.

I think it scared him more than me, because he had pulled his shorts up and went running from the shed. I have always secretly desired to see what might have happened had I continued playing with his privates.

Now that I had made my decision, I threw caution to the wind and decided to give myself some pleasure, instead of always playing second fiddle. I really wanted to experiment more, and I knew that I could trust Mike. I lowered my tongue to swirl it around his erect penis. His body responded with a slight thrust up, causing his penis to actually enter my mouth. I liked the taste of his penis, and my excitement was building deep within me. Raising my head and releasing his penis, it stood straight up, pulsing and calling to be satisfied. I stood upright and removed my night shirt. My nipples were erect and jutted forward in excitement. This was my choice and I was the one in control. No one was telling me I had to do this. It just felt right!

I couldn't bring myself to remove my panties, it was as if the fact that one of us had our underwear on, then we wouldn't have to worry about going to far.. I then placed one hand against the now totally soaked material of my pink panties and rubbed my fingers into the cleft formed between my legs. Throwing caution to the wind, I again lowered my lips to kiss his penis. I could see this excited his body and caused my own arousal to increase. My free hand began exploring his penis, cupping it and bringing it up and down against his penis in a pumping action, I could feel the sack below tighten. His penis became more rigid in my exploration. My tongue felt his cock pulsing now and I could feel his hips starting to thrust slightly.

Frightened, but feeling totally nasty, I brought my mouth deeper onto his penis. I took as much of his penis inside as I thought possible. I imagined my mouth to be the deep warmth of my vagina. My other hand was now working my mound faster and faster. I had never felt this good and especially not in this way. It was so good and bad at the same time.

His thrusts into my mouth were now matching the bobbing of my head, as I slid my lips down the length of his penis as far as I could, until bringing it back up to rest just before his cock could escape the confines of the warmness of my throat. Just as I thought I would fall to my knees, in my own tingling rush of excitement in anticipation, my legs quivered and he couldn't hold back his intense pleasure and he spewed forth. The force of his cumming caused some of it to trickle down my throat and it felt like a warm fire forming in my mouth. The taste of his semen caused me to orgasm. My Fingers were no longer just playing around the edges of my vagina, but thrusting deep within myself. My panties were now more in the way, yet gave me enough access to jam my fingers to the first knuckle. I wanted them to go deeper, yet with the confinement of my underwear, I continued to thrust them as far inside as they would go. His orgasm was greater than I could have imagined and he continued to spurt into my mouth. I gagged slightly and pulled my head back, but refused to stop pumping his penis with my hand. Now I could see the semen spurt through the tiny eye at the crown of his penis. My own orgasm intensified and I had to let go of his cock to finish my own needs. My free hand flew to my nipples and pinching them, while I rammed my other hand deep inside myself, thrusting my fingers around the elastic waistband that had kept me from enjoying the pleasure of my fingers deeply penetrating deep inside. I watched him continue to ejaculate and it dribbled down the length of his penis to pool on his chest. My hand acted as if it was acting of its own accord, plunging again and again inside of me. It drove me over the edge. My hips began thrusting and my first real orgasm began.

With each quiver of my fingers, I pressed my palm against my mound, forcing pressure against my clitoris. Faster and deeper I plunged. I looked over and saw Mike watching me. The thought of him viewing me masturbate like this didn't embarrass me like I thought it would. It actually increased my own excitement.

Knowing that he was seeing me so vulnerable and exposed, thrilled me as never before. My vagina twitched and contracted with each thrust of my fingers. My knees gave out and I threw herself against the bed. I viewed his penis only inches from my face and I spasmed again in complete orgasm. I now was truly incorporated into the world of the forbidden sexual knowledge of being a woman.