Someone's bare thigh brushed the side of Kiram's face. He rolled closer to Elezar to avoid the contact. Gasps and breathless moans mingled with whispered obscenities. The bed rocked and jerked with so many writhing bodies. Kiram eluded another leg, though his hand came away wet.
And then he realized that Javier was staring straight at him as the girl took him into her mouth. His gaze seemed unbearably intense and Kiram didn't know if it was desire or shame that colored his cheeks. Kiram couldn't help but remember the taste of Javier and the heat of him in his own mouth and yet he hated the sight of this girl taking what should have been his own. He despised the fact that Javier just stood there, looking beautiful and aloof, and allowed it to happen.
Arousal, repulsion, and jealous anger crashed through Kiram. He didn't want to see this. He didn't care if this was what it took to be a Hellion-to impress Master Ignacio or Prince Sevanyo or to convince all these Cadeleonian men that he was worthy of their company-he didn't want any part of it.
Beside him, Elezar's hips flexed and pumped, bouncing the girl's splayed legs against Kiram's thigh. Javier clenched his eyes closed. Elezar pulled himself almost upright, driving deep into the girl but reaching out and grasping Javier's hand. Javier returned his grip but didn't open his eyes.
Some woman slid her hand down along Kiram's chest and dug her nails hard into his shoulder.
"Do you want to fuck me?" The woman's hot breath fluttered across Kiram's ear.
"I." Kiram could feel the blood draining from his face. No doubt, Javier would have taken the woman. Maybe he still would. The thought tore into Kiram.
"I think I'm going to be sick," Kiram said quietly and instantly the woman's hand retracted. Kiram slipped off the edge of the bed and fled the grand chamber.
He took the stairs in a fast dash, raced through the entryway, and was out the door. Cold night air washed over him on the street. Kiram shuddered. He had taken his shoes but left his borrowed vest and jacket in the Goldenrod.
As he gazed around him he realized that he had no idea of how far he was from either the Grunito house or the Tornesal townhouse. During the carriage ride to the Goldenrod he had been packed between Javier and Elezar and had seen nothing of the streets they traversed.
The black masses of buildings that rose up against the dark skyline offered him no hint of even their architecture. Yellow firelight illuminated many of the windows. He could make out the figures of women coming and going. Just across the street, a door opened and lamp light flared out. Kiram saw the silhouettes of men, staggering and laughing as they entered another brothel. Their merriment augmented his sick misery.
Only a day ago Rafie had warned that he might come to regret staying with Javier, and already Kiram suspected that his uncle had been right. His thoughts slurred with the white ruin and suddenly Kiram found himself reminiscing about Musni. He'd be married by now. Would it have been any easier to see Musni wed than to watch Javier with some drunk whore?
Hot nausea welled up in Kiram. Sick sweat rose and his stomach clenched. He crouched on the curb and vomited.
"Pathetic." Lamplight from a nearby window illuminated the smirk of a passing man and his big-breasted companion. The woman giggled and led the man into an alley.
Kiram spat the sick sour taste out of his mouth and straightened. He half wanted to follow the man into the alley and beat the life out of him. But then his common sense returned. He was far from certain that he would win any fight he picked. He just needed to wash and go to bed.
The sooner he put this night behind him the better.
Night bells rang from far across town. Kiram clumsily navigated toward the sound. The bells would lead him to the church in the town square and from there he would be able to stumble onward to the Tornesal townhouse.
As he wandered beyond the brightly-lit brothels and common houses, the street grew darker and Kiram encountered fewer men. Occasionally a carriage rolled past him, and once an older man with a lamp stopped on the walkway to watch Kiram pass. He scowled at Kiram and placed a protective hand over his coin purse.
"None of your begging here, Haldiim," the old man muttered.
Kiram rolled his eyes and made an obscene gesture.
The old man hurried away and Kiram continued on, grumbling and trying to count the number of things that he hated about Cadeleonian society.
More than once in the darkness he lost his way but then the church bells would sound again and he'd correct himself. By the time he reached the Tornesal townhouse, his bitterness had turned to numb fatigue. Lamps glowed at the entry and yellow light streamed between the heavy curtains of several windows. He wondered suddenly if the staff spent as much of the night as the day cleaning the spotless house. He reached the doors, leaned heavily against the frame, and knocked lightly. A door opened immediately. A footman took a single look at him and smiled as if Kiram were his long lost nephew.
"It is so good to see that you've returned, Master Kir- Zaki. His Lordship was very worried."
"His Lordship?" Kiram had thought that Javier would still be at the Goldenrod, but then he realized his mistake. Javier might have sex there but he couldn't sleep anywhere that wasn't protected with spells.
"Could you inform him that I'm fine and that I'm going directly to bed?" Kiram stepped past the footman and headed toward the green room.
"He will be informed at once, sir."
Compared to the cavernous entryway the green room was comfortingly small, warm, and dark. Only embers burned in the fireplace. The bed looked appealingly clean and empty. Kiram pulled off one shoe. As he worked the laces of the second the door flew open.
"Kiram!" Javier rushed in. "Where in God's name have you been?"
"Walking." Kiram thought that sounded better than saying he'd been lost. "I needed to get out of the Goldenrod and clear my head." He dropped his second shoe beside the first.
Javier gave him a sympathetic smile. "It was a little much all at once, wasn't it?"
"I don't really want to talk about it," Kiram replied. "I just want to go to bed."
"Why don't you come to my room?"
"Because I'd rather sleep here," Kiram snapped and he knew too much anger carried in his tone.
"Look, you've got nothing to be ashamed of." Javier stepped a little closer. Kiram could smell the white ruin wafting off his clothes and body. He offered Kiram a pointlessly reassuring smile.
"The first time Elezar went to the Goldenrod he was so nervous he threw up. There's no shame in running away. No one noticed but me-"
"I'm not embarrassed, I'm disgusted. And I'm angry at you." Kiram cut himself off short. His feelings were still too raw and too tangled with memories of Musni. He wasn't ready for this argument.
"What did I do?" Javier demanded with an arched brow.
"Nothing. Never mind. I'm just really tired," Kiram finished lamely.
Javier gave him a hard look and Kiram knew he wasn't going to let the subject drop.
"If you're just tired then come to my bed." Javier gripped his arm and pulled him closer. Kiram resisted him, but Javier was strong and insistent. "What the hell is wrong with you? A few hours ago you couldn't wait to be with me."
"Well, a few hours ago I hadn't watched some drunk whore suck your cock."
Javier suddenly released his grip, and an expression like pain flickered across Javier's face. Then it was gone. "She was nothing. What she did was nothing."
"It wasn't nothing," Kiram replied. "It was exactly what you and I did. More. You probably had sex with her."
"Of course I did. What else was I supposed to do?" Javier asked. "Decline on the grounds that I'd prefer to bend you? That would have gone over well with the rest of the Hellions and let me assure you Master Ignacio would have been delighted to hear of it as well."