"Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the timer was never set."
"Oh, no, it must be burnt to a crisp by now," said Step.
"I don't think so," said DeAnne. "The oven isn't on."
"I didn't turn the oven on?"
Sure enough, the meatloaf was dead raw.
"Well, we can't eat that," said DeAnne.
"We can cook it now, can't we? Mary Anne can serve it to the kids when it comes out."
"No, Step," said DeAnne. "You can't serve meatloaf that's been sitting around this long at room temperature."
"You can't tell me the meat would go bad this fast."
"Not the meat," said DeAnne. "The eggs."
"I forgot the eggs," said Step.
"If I weren't here, Step, the kids would have salmonella all the time."
"Probably. So what about supper?"
"Throw some bowls and cold cereal on the table and call the kids in to eat," said DeAnne. "It's the last resort of the mother in a hurry but hey, that's me."
Robbie and Betsy came right in. "Stevie!" Step called again. "Come on in to supper now!" Knowing he would be obeyed, Step headed outside to open the car door for DeAnne. Just as DeAnne was settling in with Zap in her arms, Mary Anne pulled up into the driveway behind the Renault. Step waved her back, and she put her hands to the sides of her face to show her embarrassment. Then she put her car in reverse and parked out on the street just ahead of Bappy's pickup truck. It was getting dark, and it occurred to Step that if Bappy wasn't done with the lights, he probably ought to quit for the night. It wasn't safe to be wandering around on the roof in the dark.
Mary Anne came running up the driveway. "How's little Zap doing?" she asked.
"He's probably not even that sick," said DeAnne. "But we just have to be sure."
"If the doctor calls wondering where we are, tell him we're on the way" said Step. "The kids are in the middle of coating the inside of the kitchen with a layer of cornflakes, so enter at your own risk." As Mary Anne jogged up the two steps and into the house, Step called after her, "And lock the deadbolts!"
"I always do!" she called back.
Dr. Greenwald didn't seem to mind that they had taken so long getting to his office, and after poking and probing and listening, he reassured them that it was nothing all that serious. They apolo gized for wasting his time, but he assured them that they had been right to be concerned. "With a baby this fragile," he said,
"everything is serious."
When they got back home, the house was completely rimmed with white lights. "It looks like gingerbread," said DeAnne.
"For an impressively ugly ho use, it lights up real nice," said Step.
When they got inside, however, chaos reigned. Betsy and Bobbie were standing on chairs in the kitchen, and the second DeAnne and Step got in the door they started screaming, "Spiders! Daddy longlegs!"
There weren't any spiders in the kitchen that Step could see. He held the baby while DeAnne took off her coat. "Where's Mary Anne?" asked DeAnne.
"Is that you at the door!" shouted Mary Anne from back somewhere deep in the house.
"Yes it is!" called DeAnne. "Where are you?"
"In the land of the monster spiders!" shouted Mary Anne. "I could sure use some help and another roll of paper towels!"
"You take care of Zap and the kids," said Step to DeAnne, "and I'll see what's going on in the bathroom."
He ducked into the laundry room to get another roll of paper towels.
"You don't suppose we're having another invasion of insects, do you?" asked DeAnne.
"Nope," said Step. "Spiders are arachnids."
In the bathroom, it looked as though someone had tried to resurface the entire room in wet paper towels, and then reconsidered and spattered ink on it. But the ink turned out to be daddy longlegs spiders, and the wet paper towels were Mary Anne's strategy for immobilizing as many spiders as possible while stomping the ones that weren't pinned down under the wet towels.
Apparently Mary Anne had kept her cool quite well while she was the only adult present. But as soon as Step came into the room and she tried to explain what was happening, she began to shudder and shiver, then screeched as a daddy longlegs crawled up onto her ankle. She stamped and stamped until it fell off; Step gripped her by the shoulders and guided her out the door into the hall. "You stand there and keep watch to make sure none of them get out. Remember to look up and check the ceilings."
Outside the bathroom, she was able to calm down as Step methodically slaughtered spiders. "They were coming up out of the drain in the bathtub," said Mary Anne. Step glanced into the tub and sure enough, it had been plugged with wet paper towels. "Betsy was on her little potty when she started yelling 'pido, pido,' and I finally realized that it wasn't some cute bathroom word like peepee, she was saying spider."
"You did great," said Step. "You kept it under control. You won't believe it, but this happens like about once a season. First crickets, then june bugs, then gnats on the night that Zap was born. I think we're going through the ten plagues of Egypt."
"Spiders are the horriblest things. I can't stand the way their little legs go up and down so delicately, like monster ballet dancers."
"Oh, keep talking, I can't wait to see what inhabits my dreams tonight."
"You're looking at them, my talking can hardly be any worse than that," said Mary Anne.
"Yeah, but now I'm not looking at spiders, I'm looking at monster ballet dancers. Disney missed a bet with Fantasia."
Finally the spiders were cleaned up and all the paper towels were clotted in the bottom of a garbage bag.
When Step came back into the kitchen from taking the bag outside, Mary Anne was standing by the table talking to DeAnne.
"Well, you're a hero, Mary Anne."
"Any time," said Mary Anne. "Only next time we can skip the spider part." She started for the door into the laundry room, then stopped. "Oh, your mom called, DeAnne. Nothing's wrong, don't worry, she just wanted your pie crust recipe."
"My mother wants to make pies?"
"Oh, doesn't she ever?"
"My dad's the piemaker in my family," said DeAnne. "But miracles happen every day, right?" Step dialed the wall phone for her, then handed her the receiver so she didn't have to get up while nursing Zap.
They said their good-byes to Mary Anne. Then came the mess of getting Robbie and Betsy to bed. Stevie was already lying in his bed, and Step made Robbie get under the covers quietly so as not to waken his big brother.
Only after Step was already in bed beside DeAnne did he realize that the Christmas lights were still on outside.
"Oh, just leave them," said DeAnne.
"Just as you wouldn't allow your family to eat that meat loaf, I will not permit my family to sleep in a house that has some weird extension cord arrangement connected up outside."
He put on a bathrobe, and then, remembering how cold it was outside, a coat over that. Out back Step found the plug and pulled it, then walked around front to make sure the lights were off. By now he was quite cold, and he rushed back into the house, locked up, took off his coat, and then moved through the house checking that all the doors were locked and glancing in to make sure the kids were covered.
The routine was so set that it wasn't till he was already walk ing into his and DeAnne's room that he realized that he hadn't seen Stevie in his bed. Robbie was there, but Stevie's sheets were pulled back and the bed was empty. Was he up going to the bathroom? He hadn't been in the kids' bathroom or anywhere else in the house-could he, for some reason, be in the master bathroom?
Step walked around the bed and checked in the bathroom. No Stevie. This was impossible. Unless Stevie was playing a trick, hiding in the closet or something, there was nowhere that he could be. Step headed back to the boys' room to check the closet before he pushed the panic button, but then he had to stop cold in the doorway. There was Stevie. Right there on the top bunk. The covers were all the way down, as Step remembered, but Stevie was there. He was curled up and looked like he was completely asleep.