button.
“You’re such a liar!” I said mockingly.
“I’m telling you the truth! We had a few drinks. She threw herself at me!”
I laughed. “And of course you took her up on her offer! Your final gesture to Ryan to make sure that if he did take her back, he got her back…
used.”
I heard my front door open; it was easy to distinguish subtle sounds in my home.
“And the letter?” I bellowed.
“The letter was her idea, not mine. She planned it. Just don’t…”
“I’m sure you can run before the cops get here, but where would you run to? I’ll petition the court to grant a PFA order on you. It probably won’t
take more than an hour or so, after all, this was assault,” I mused, rubbing the tender spot on my forehead. “I wonder what a protection order would
do to your career.”
“Okay, okay! Just don’t,” Kyle begged. “I can’t have a record. I’ll lose everything. Baby, please…”
“I’m not your baby!” I firmly stated. “Kyle, how could you ever think we’d be able to have a healthy relationship with you hurting me like this?”
“I love you, Taryn! Everything I did, I did out of love! I just couldn’t stand idly by and watch him destroy you! It was killing me!”
“This isn’t love, this is sickness. You destroyed me, Kyle. Not Ryan. You! You ripped my heart out!” I screamed at him.
“I never meant to hurt you!” he said with conviction.
“Taryn, are you all right?” Pete yelled from the other side of the door.
“Yes,” I quickly replied, watching surprise and shock coat Kyle’s face.
“The police are on their way. Is he armed?” Pete asked. I could hear the sirens.
Kyle’s eyes widened with fear. “No,” he uttered.
“He says he’s not armed,” I yelled back to my friends.
Pete plowed the door open; he had my baseball bat in his hand, ready to swing. Marie was right behind him.
“You just keep away from her!” Pete threatened, waving the bat at Kyle.
“I’m not going to hurt her.” Kyle’s derisive inflection was noticeable.
Marie tried to pull me out of the hallway and into the kitchen – to safety, I presumed.
“Taryn!” Kyle called out. “Please? I’m sorry! I can’t go to jail!”
“Well you should have thought about that a long time ago!” Pete yelled angrily.
I touched Pete’s shoulder to calm him.
“Kyle, I’m sorry too, but I just don’t trust you. If I let you go free, then what’s to keep you from coming back and starting this crap all over again?
You know I don’t feel the same way about you, but yet here you are... again!”
“I’ll stay away. I promise! I’ll leave you alone and never bother you again. I swear!” Kyle’s pleading was urgent. He knew his time was running
out. The police sirens were in the alley.
I had to make a decision, quickly.
“So what happened then?” Ryan asked.
“The police took our statements. They carted Kyle out to the patrol car real fas. Ryan, I told the police that I didn’t want to press charges.”
“You mean to tell me after all the bullshit that bastard put us through, you just let the son-of-a-bitch walk?” he yelled in my ear.
“Yes,” I said somberly. I knew Ryan felt completely left down.
He huffed in my ear. “Be honest with me, please. Do you have feelings for him? Just tell me.”
“No, Ryan. I don’t. But I just couldn’t send him to prison.”
I could not condemn a man to that fate for simply wanting me.
“I didn’t press charges because I was afraid,” I continued slowly. “I was afraid that if I destroyed his life, he might come after us one day with a
vengeance. He walked away a free man; he has no reason to ever retaliate. It’s over,” I sighed.
Ryan was silent. I could hear him breathing hard; he was stewing. I knew he wanted Kyle to pay dearly for every wrong he ever did to us, but in
my mind, two wrongs never made a right.
“Ryan?” I called out to him, hoping to calm him so we could talk this out.
“What?” he asked in his irritated, short tone.
“After all of this, I can’t have you mad at me too,” I told him, my words were more of a plea.
“I’ve…” he stammered. “I’ve got to go,” he informed grimly.
“Ryan?” I breathed out.
“I need some time to think,” he replied coldly.
His gears that were once so easy for me to switch suddenly felt stiff, unmoving under my influence.
“Okay,” I whispered as the burn of heartbreak slipped up my throat.
I slumped down into my chair at the big, round table. My friends all looked at me, confused as to why I was suddenly falling apart again after
speaking to Ryan.
Marie’s perplexed glare turned to anger. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and I knew just by her expression that she was planning on
calling Ryan and reading him the riot act.
“Don’t,” I protested, wiping my eyes on a Mitchell’s napkin.
My heart cracked wider when two whole days passed and I still had not talked to Ryan. I didn’t call him either; part of me was deathly afraid to have
my worst fear validated. Denial was a safer option, safer than the truth. Other than the two and a half days I spent in the pit of darkness after
returning from Florida, this was the longest we had ever gone without speaking.
Ryan did manage to send me a text message, but it was short. I knew he was still in Miami filming the last scenes of Thousand Miles and that
they were attempting to wrap filming this week. He was working fifteen-hour days. I could only imagine how uncomfortable things must be for him to
film with Lauren… to pretend, to act in front of the cameras that he was in love with this woman who so insidiously tried to destroy our relationship.
The devastation from my disastrous trip to Florida lingered in my heart and every day it became more and more unbearable. I continued to beat
myself up every spare moment I had for being foolish and gullible and for doubting Ryan’s faithfulness. Had I scarred him so deeply that forgiveness
was no longer an option?
Part of me couldn’t blame Ryan for being angry with me, after all, how could our relationship survive if I didn’t show him I could trust him?
But there were moments when he questioned my faithfulness too, so why should I feel solely responsible for the current state of misery I was
existing in?
And what about that leggy bitch down in Florida who still gets to enjoy Ryan’s lips on hers? Did Lauren have an ounce of remorse in her fakebreasted
soul?
Tears slipped from my eyes as I tapped a pitcher of beer for a waiting customer. I thought about all the problems Ryan was dealing with – the
troubles with Suzanne, and David, and the studio people, and Lauren, and Kyle, and losing an unborn baby… all these things that caused him pain
had one common denominator – me.
“Taryn?” Marie reached for me, questioning my sadness.
I set the pitcher down on the bar and waved my hand to dismiss her attempt to console me.
I couldn’t do this anymore to him… or me.
Tammy stopped me as I hurried through the kitchen, grabbing me by the arm before I got through my door. My key was still stuck in the
doorknob. She wrapped me in a tender hug as the magnitude of my overwhelming grief reached its final peak and crashed down on me.
My knees buckled and I dropped to the floor, covering my face with my hands.
There was only one option left for me…
I had to let Ryan go.
Chapter 36 – What do you say?
I watched Marie out of the corner of my eye as she answered her cell phone again while making a mixed drink for a waiting customer. Gary had
been calling her at work these last few days, which was very out of character for him. Gary was never much of a talker, so I was surprised at how
often he called.
I gathered through the bits and pieces of conversation that they were making plans for a family get-together; it sounded like several people were