Ryan’s smile was glorious. It took my breath away. He reached into the front pocket of his jeans and pulled out a ring. There was no box, no preshow.
He took my left hand into his and kissed my hand softly.
“Forever,” he whispered, looking up at me, as he slid the ring onto my finger.
Chapter 37 – Sparkle and Fade
“Do you really like it?” Ryan asked when he caught me gazing at my engagement ring. I held my hand out to admire my exquisite diamond ring
one more time. Even though my head swirled with thoughts, everything paled in comparison to the elation I felt from the amazing man that was
holding me, his eyes begging for my response.
“If you don’t, I could always get you something else. I mean, I won’t be offended if you don’t like it. You could pick one that you’d rather…”
I quickly lifted my head off of his bare chest and locked my lips on his, shutting him up before he could entertain more doubt.
“It’s perfect,” I reassured him. “Absolutely perfect!”
He sighed. “Good! I’m glad.” He smiled gently. “I wasn’t sure. I looked at a lot of rings before I picked that one. I could have gone bigger with the
center stone, but I presumed you’d feel anything over three carats would be too much.”
“You’re right!” I laughed lightly.
“There’s an inscription in it too,” Ryan informed tenderly.
“There is?” I said, completely surprised. He had placed this ring on my finger so quickly that I didn’t even have time to look at it.
He slipped his arm out from underneath our warm comforter and wiggled the ring off my finger. “See?”
I held it closer to my eyes, twisting the band so I could read it. Etched inside was one word.
“Forever,” I whispered.
“That’s right… forever,” he said softly. “I’m only marrying one girl in my lifetime. Just like my father did… just like your father did. Our parents
spent their lives together and worked through their problems. We will too.”
I placed the ring back onto my finger.
“I am so relieved to hear you say that,” I sighed out, drifting my fingers across his cheek. “But I’m even more relieved that you’re just here with
me. I thought I had lost you for good.”
“Taryn, I know things have been totally fucked up between us lately.” He paused and combed his hair back with his fingers. “But…”
“But we need to be more open and honest with each other,” I quickly finished his sentence, whispering my words on his skin.
“Yes. Exactly,” he agreed. “A lot more open.”
I thought about the reasons my heart ached just a few short hours ago. “You know a spectacular diamond ring on my finger doesn’t resolve our
trust issues though.”
“I know. And I am truly sorry. I should have told you about Lauren. We should have talked about it.” He trailed his fingers down my back,
straightening out a lock of my hair.
“Why don’t you tell me now?” I softly murmured.
He fidgeted slightly underneath me. “There’s not much to say, really. I met her when she screen tested for Thousand Miles with me. Production
got pushed off a year and, well, we were both out in L.A., both single at the time.
“When I left to film Reparation she started seeing Lucas behind my back. A friend of mine called me in Chicago to tell me he saw them making
out at the Chateau Marmont.” Ryan frowned. Admitting that out loud seemed difficult for him.
“I thought we were exclusive. I guess I’m just old-fashioned that way - I only date one woman at a time. Needless to say, that was the end of that.”
“Were you in love with her?” I asked, curious to know how deep his feelings were for her.
His eyes were thoughtful when he shrugged slightly.
“Honest and open,” I reminded him.
He sighed. “Not really. I mean I cared a lot about her. We were friends. It was new and fun for a while.”
Ryan played with a long strand of my hair, twisting it around his finger. “The little bit of feelings I had for her are nothing in comparison to how I
feel about you, I can tell you that!”
I was reveling in his words until he laughed lightly.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, getting worried.
“You know we film out of sequence, right? Well, one of the final scenes we shot this week was of our big breakup,” he snickered. “And man, was
I ever in character for that!”
I couldn’t help but feel as though I was the one to blame for his breakup motivation. Guilt washed over me again.
“I’m so sorry for what I did to you… for doubting you,” I said with much regret. “I hope you are able to forgive me.”
His hand cupped my head to his chest. “No, Taryn. I did this. I put the doubt into your mind. Don’t you dare feel bad.”
“But I do. I ruined everything,” I muttered. “All your plans...”
“Don’t. I should have told you about her. I should have done more to put your mind at ease, but I didn’t,” he admitted. “Instead, I was angry with
you for questioning my faithfulness. I realize that now. I’m just glad that I realized it before it was too late.”
He squeezed me in his arms. “I need you to forgive me.”
I wrapped my arms around him tighter, pulling him closer, while his warmth and presence stitched my soul back together.
“There’s nothing to forgive,” I whispered. “Only lessons learned.”
Ryan softly kissed the top of my head.
My mind drifted as he held me. I thought about how I would handle the first moment I ever came face to face with Lauren Delaney. Our paths
would cross eventually, now that Ryan and I were officially engaged. There would be a Thousand Miles movie premier to attend in my future. My
visions of that initial meeting were far from ladylike.
“Did Lauren ever confess?” I asked, recalling Kyle’s eleventh hour admission.
“She denied being involved… at first.” Ryan scratched his brow. He seemed reluctant to continue.
“It’s okay, just tell me.”
“She cried - hard. She said she should have never left me go,” he scoffed, “but my intensity when we were dating scared her or some shit like
that. Well, that was her excuse for cheating on me.”
He pursed his lips with disgust. “After I told her that there was no way in hell I’d ever get back with her, she admitted that she was trying to keep
me from making a huge mistake. She thought I was being impulsive and shortsighted with wanting to propose to you.”
I adjusted my cheek on his arm, mulling over his last sentence. I also pictured Lauren pleading and begging with him to take her back.
“And then Taryn fell silent,” he muttered. Ryan rolled over onto his side and stared at my face.
I swallowed hard before speaking, burying my pained eyes in my pillow. “I can almost pinpoint the exact time in my memory when that
conversation happened. It was when you told me you needed time to think.”
Ryan pulled my chin up.
“I’m not going to deny that I didn’t think about what she said. Not the part about her being a dirty, little tramp and wanting me back,” he
corrected. “The other part.”
“And?” I asked hesitantly.
He was silent for a few seconds. “Look in my eyes,” he instructed softly.
His request was confusing to me at first, because I was expecting him to say more after that. Instead, we lay still, gazing at each other for a very
long minute. And then I saw it… it was all suddenly very clear to me. I saw our life together, our future, in brief snippets of time. I could not imagine
being happy without him. I rested my hand on his cheek, guiding his lips to mine. When Ryan kissed me, life had meaning again.
“This last week, when everything turned to shit, that was a new low for me,” he admitted. “The lowest I’ve ever been.”
I laughed lightly. “I think I found a new level of low, ten floors down below the pit of despair.”