“Come with me.”
I don’t answer right away. I can’t. My mind is in a constant tug-of-war with my heart. I just … I want him still. After the pain, the months of silence … I want him. As long as I remember him, he’ll always be a part of me.
“Don’t let him take you down with him. You’re better than that … you’re better than him,” he says softly, his warm breath hitting the back of my neck yet again.
“It’s not about him. It’s—”
“Then have lunch with me.”
My teeth grind together in an angry rhythm to keep my emotions at bay. Pierce painted Blake as a monster when he’s not even close, and a part of me hasn’t forgiven him for that. “I need to finish this.”
He pulls the pencil from between my fingers. “If it makes you feel better, we’ll discuss the project over a sandwich.”
Blake’s been gone for almost six months, and I blame Pierce. I blame him when I should blame myself. I should have trusted him. I knew him better than to make assumptions.
“Fine, I’ll take a short lunch then I have to get back to it.”
“Don’t be that way, Lila. Have you done anything outside these cubicle walls since you started on this project?” he asks, crossing his arms over his strong chest.
I pull my sweater from the back of my chair and slip it on. “No reason to.”
“It’s called inspiration, Lila.”
He walks. I stay close behind, drawing the eyes of everyone we pass.
“There’s enough going on in my head. I don’t need to add to it,” I mumble, watching his expensive leather shoes to avoid the stares.
The elevator opens, and five sets of eyes stare at us. Being Pierce Stanley’s friend sucks sometimes. He walks to one corner, and the group automatically clears to the other.
As soon as the door closes, he leans into me. “I liked the old Lila better.”
So did I, I think.
“She’s still here,” I whisper, half-heartedly.
“I know,” he replies. “We just have to find her.”
I don’t have an answer for that. I know she’s still in me. Who I used to be is part of my history—she’s not going anywhere. She’s just buried under a heavy pile of heartbreak.
I fall hard.
I love harder.
Blake left, and when he did, he took a piece of me with him. I’ve tried to get the old Lila back the last few months but it’s as if I can’t see anything in front of me … not when I can’t stop thinking about what I once had.
Pierce nudges my shoulder. “We can get off now.”
Shaking my head, I come out of the fog. I’ve been caught up in it so much lately that I don’t know what it’s like to just be.
We walk side by side to the little café I’ve gone to with Reece before.
“I didn’t think people came here for business meetings,” I say as I walk through the door he holds open for me.
I look back. He smiles. “I left business back at the office.”
Damn him.
“This should be quick then,” I chide as we walk up to the counter.
I order a club sandwich and a bottle of water. He gets the same with a cup of soup and follows me to a small table in the back corner. My heart beats faster than usual. Pierce pushes me. My friends push me. Life is easier when I can hide away inside my own head. I’ve done a good job of it.
“Actually, I do have one piece of business,” he announces after enjoying the first bite of his soup. “I talked to Wade earlier.”
“I’m sorry I missed it,” I reply, sarcastically, twisting the cap off my water.
He laughs, scrubbing his hand over his jaw. “You almost make that sound believable.” He pauses, some of the playfulness from earlier disappearing. “He wants us in New York next week for a few days to meet with his team.”
Thoughts of the last time we were in New York flash through my mind, and they have nothing to do with Wade. New York City will never be just a place to me; it’s a page in life’s scrapbook.
“And if we don’t?”
“That’s not an option.”
Great. “I don’t know if I can have the mood board done by then.”
“If I asked you to, you’d have it done this afternoon.”
I open my mouth to argue, but I think better of it. He’s right … always. “What days are you thinking?”
“Leave Monday. Come home Thursday afternoon.”
“Why so long?”
He shrugs. “We have a scheduled meeting with him late Monday afternoon then he’s hosting a meet and greet for everyone Tuesday evening. This is Wade’s new baby; failure is never an option for him.”
“I still don’t get why you even want to work with him.”
He leans in, his bright eyes just inches from mine. “If I only worked with people I like, you wouldn’t have a job. Getting to where I’m at required a lot of sacrifices, and my sanity happens to be one of them.”
‘Do you ever get bored? I mean … you’ve accomplished so much. Have you reached a point where you feel like you have enough? I’d think at some point the success would give you the power to retain your sanity. Be more picky about the projects you take on.”
“You’re missing the point. Money is nice, but I don’t do this for the money; I do it for the challenge. I want to be the best,” he says, taking another spoonful of the steamy broth.
“I think you’re already there,” I say quietly. In the six months I’ve been working with him, I’ve been captured by his brilliance. And through every step of the way, he’s been a steady force. If he’s stressed, I never see it.
“There is one challenge I haven’t completed. It’s not over yet, and I’m not going to give up.”
I pull my water to my lips, sipping it slowly. He says little things like this sometimes when we’re alone. He’s not afraid to show his cards, but I’m not ready to let him see mine … or to even play the game.
“I think we should get back to the office, especially if I have to complete the board by next week,” I say, standing to dump my mostly uneaten sandwich in the garbage.
“Why do you do that?” he asks, sneaking up behind me.
I keep walking. “Do what?”
“Run. Why do you keep running from me?”
I ignore him until we’re outside, away from the crowd. “Because you’re the one who helped tie the rope around my heart and squeeze it until it was broken in two. If you would have been more honest with me about what happened with Alyssa, he’d still be here.”
He presses his hand against my back, guiding me down the street. “I’ve been waiting to hear you say it.”
“That’s it,” I say, spinning on my heels to face him. “What the fuck do you want from me, Pierce? Is there a mass conspiracy amongst men to make my life a living hell?” I attempt to keep my voice low, but the rage within me makes that almost impossible.
The asshole actually smiles. “No, but if we’re ever going to move forward, you have to let out that anger. This is a nice start.”
I point my finger at him. “I swear, Pierce, if you weren’t my boss, I’d have some very choice words for you right now.”
“Keep it coming.” He smiles again.
Without another word, I spin around and hurry back into the office building. If he talks, I don’t hear him. If he walks closely, I don’t feel him.
FOR THE REST OF THE DAY, I do a good job avoiding Pierce. He must have gotten the point because he sent his secretary over with my flight itinerary for next week. He’s pretty official for someone with a private jet.
Reece comes around the corner as I’m pulling my purse over my shoulder. “What’s the plan for this weekend?”
“Same old.” I smile, but it’s with sadness. Rainbows only form after rainstorms if the sun shines. I’ve lived in the clouds for far too long to even believe in the rainbows.