“I always looked at you strangely, my dear, because I was enchanted by you and utterly at a loss as to how to proceed. You dazzled me at every turn and rendered me mute and dull. A woman as intelligent as you had no choice but to deduce my moronic behavior unworthy and reproachable!”
Lizzy shook her head and clasped his face with her hands. “Do not say that! I was the fool to not see your worth and love.” She kissed him. “You did not answer my question, however. Why on that particular day were you running so dangerously and later spoke of dreams tormenting you?”
“Oh, yes, I remember now.” He smiled and laughed. “I had forgotten.” He sat back onto the grass, lightly massaging her calves and feet. “You surely remember my confession to you, dearest, of the nature of many of my dreams involving you?” She nodded, blushing slightly. “Later, once we were betrothed, those dreams of making love with you were welcomed. Practice sessions, I deemed them.”
“William!” she declared in mock shock, and he laughed.
“However, earlier, during my sojourn at Netherfield and your abiding there, the dreams began and they were not welcomed. Enjoyed certainly, but I was mortified once I awoke. I was dismayed that I, Darcy of Pemberley, a gentleman with superior temperance and constraint, would lose control even in my sleep so as to consider you in such a way. Yet, I could not deny how… pleasant… it was.” He chuckled. “It was a torment, Elizabeth. I was madly in love with you, yet successfully fought against it during my waking hours. Then I would dream of you in such a vivid and delightful yet crude and disrespectful manner. Mornings were horrible. I would wake in a sweat, weary, aroused, and ashamed.”
He paused, gazing into her beloved eyes. “On retrospection, I was never successful in denying my affection for you. I simply managed to deceive myself, employing my years of discipline to bury my thoughts and urges. That particular morning was one of many in which I woke in a heightened state, unfit for company, and in need of oblivion from my decadent musings. Parsifal offers that. We love running fast, as you are aware. There is a freedom to the exercise. You become one with your horse, and the power and concentration necessary invade your mind and erase all else. It is liberating.” He paused again, smiling dreamily and firmly gripping her feet in his lap. “When I encountered you so abruptly, standing on the fence watching me, my first thought was that I was still in a dream. God, Elizabeth, if you only knew how beautiful you were! Your simple dress, the green one it was, no bonnet or fancy gloves, your hair pinned but loose about your lovely face, your feet bare, your eyes shining and cheeks flushed. You took my breath away! Nothing in my dreams compared to the reality of how stunning you were. I wanted to leap off Parsifal and into your arms with an aching desire beyond anything I had ever experienced in all my life, and it was only my embarrassingly acute aroused state that kept me on his back!”
“Hmmm… Perhaps you should have leapt, William. Think how differently things may have gone.”
“Do not tease me, Elizabeth. I was a beast, and you would have slapped me or kicked me in a painful location, and rightfully so!”
“Maybe not. I was examining your neckline far too boldly and reliving the touch of your hand. That is why I snapped at you so rudely. You unnerved me.”
Darcy kissed her covered knees, laying his cheek on her thigh. “No use contemplating might have beens, my love. We are here now and you are more beautiful and I am yet again breathless and captivated. Now, as then, my mind and heart are consumed by you, dearest wife.”
Lizzy beamed, fingering his soft hair as they stared at each other. “I love you, William. Thank you for sharing with me, for persevering in your suit, and for tolerating my fluctuating moods. I do not deserve you but am abundantly grateful that you are mine!”
He rose to his knees, hugging her body with hands on her hips. “I am eternally yours and you are eternally mine.” He kissed her slowly and thoroughly, voice husky when he next spoke, “We need to return to the manor for dinner, love. Are you feeling well?”
“Very well,” she whispered, seizing his mouth while hands roamed over his chest, unbuttoning the waistcoat. “Love me, Fitzwilliam, as you wanted to before.”
“Elizabeth! It is broad daylight. You…” She strengthened the force of her kiss and focused her fondling, eliciting a deep groan from her husband. Finally, struggling for breath and control under the insistence of her attack, he uttered, “Oh sweet Lord, Lizzy! Someone could happen by. We should not…”
“No one passes this way, my lover. No one but you, that is.” She pushed his unresisting body backward onto the grass, following with kisses over his now exposed abdomen.
Gasping, he clasped her shoulders. “What… What about those other dozen men?”
She looked up in surprise, “There were never any others, William. Surely you knew I was jesting?”
He grinned. “I had to be certain.” Relenting happily, he pulled her up, kissing roughly. “Elizabeth, how I love you! Is there any fantasy or dream you would not fulfill for me?”
She smiled, caressing his face. “Why are you so certain I am fulfilling merely a fantasy of yours, William? Did you not think I ever dreamt of your delectable neck and ardent kisses and arousal as witnessed under these hanging branches?” Nibbling the tender flesh of his earlobe, she whispered, blowing softly into his ear, “I am the clever one, you recall. May I show you what I have imagined?”
“Yes!”
Lizzy sat up, straddling his thighs. With a sensual smile she unclasped the buttons providentially located down the front of her bodice, opening her gown enough to expose her firm, increasingly ample breasts. Many of her gowns were already unable to comfortably contain her bosom now, the purchase of new clothing being a priority once in Town. Darcy loved her shape as it naturally was, never once entertaining the thought of his wife lacking in any way. Nonetheless, he had to admit, internally only, that her newer voluptuous form was enticing. Extending aching hands to caress her, licking dry lips in anticipation of the pleasure she offered, his groin clenching and rising as he avidly watched her movements.
Lizzy smiled, jubilant at the instant reaction evoked. “Remember when we kissed here the day before our wedding? You were aroused then, not for the first time, after holding and kissing me. I had only seen baby boys or marble statues so had no real concept of what you looked like. I tried to visualize.” She laughed at his shocked expression. “I told you I was wicked, beloved, and had fantasies of my own. Of course, I pictured it poorly. I am still stunned at how beautiful you are, Fitzwilliam, how potent and… grand. Every portion of you is utter perfection. I suppose I should have been aghast at myself, but even on our wedding night when first I beheld you, I only experienced excitement and pleasure. Never embarrassment or fear. Now I am fully cognizant of how impressive your physique, how rapturous the feel of you inside me. How can I contain my desire for you knowing what you hide under your layers of clothing and how you awaken my lust and satisfy me?” She chuckled, amused at his blush.
She grasped his hands, pulling him to a sitting position. She searched his blue, love saturated eyes, tears suddenly welling in her brown ones. “Fitzwilliam Darcy,” she whispered, “What a gift you are in my life! I hope you understand that as much as I yearn for you physically, and I do every moment of every day, it is your heart and soul that have captured me. If we could no longer make love for some reason I would ache for you, but I would still love you as profoundly because you live inside my very essence.” She cupped his face fiercely. “Do you know this, my husband?”
Strong, warm hands palmed and stroked her neck and cheeks while he kissed her by way of reply. Passion, devotion, unity, and worship spoke eloquently through the intimate activity. In hoarse, resonant tones he said, “Elizabeth, I know I dwell in your heart and soul because you reside in mine as well. Apart from you I am shattered and fragmented. In your presence I am whole. It shall never be otherwise. I have not the minutest doubt of your love for me, beloved wife. It amazes me yet that you love me, but I do not dispute it.”