It seemed a daunting task, but I promised that I would do what I could and would always remember my Faith, my loyalty and my country.
As she embraced me she thrust a letter into my hands.
That night I read the letter. It was long and it stressed her love for me. She reminded me that I had lost my earthly father and only had God for my father now. I must never forget what I owed Him. He had given me to a great King and had sent me to England where He would require my services, and this would mean that, through what I did there, I could attain eternal salvation.
“Remember that you are a daughter of the Church by baptism and that it is indeed the first and highest rank which you have or ever will have, since it is this which will give you your entrance into Heaven…. Be, after the example of St. Louis from whom you are descended, firm and zealous for religion, which you have been taught and for which your royal and holy ancestor exposed his life. Never listen to or suffer to be said in your presence aught in contradiction to your belief in God….”
I read and reread that letter. I knew what was expected of me. I was going to a strange country. I was going to a husband whom I must strive to bring to the true Faith. I had a great responsibility.
As I read the letter I swore to God and to myself that I would do everything in my power to bring the true Faith to England.
The next night news was brought to us that there was plague at Calais and it would be dangerous for us to go there, so we must divert our course to Boulogne.
Before we could set out next morning, the Duke of Buckingham came to me in a state of great urgency.
“Your Majesty,” he said, “I have this morning received communications from King Charles. It will be necessary for me to return to Amiens that I may present these papers to the Queen Mother.”
I was very well aware that he had received no papers, and I did in fact confirm this later when I discovered there had been no messenger from England. But Anne had stayed behind in Amiens with my mother and for that reason he wanted to go back to see her before he left for England.
“You must admit,” said Mamie, “that our Duke is no laggard when it comes to love.”
I was angry at the delay. It seemed that our journey was ill-fated. First there was my brother’s ill health, then my mother’s, and after that, plague at Calais, and now Buckingham was darting off to suit his whims.
It was too much to be endured.
I abused Buckingham in no quiet voice and it was some time before I would listen to Mamie’s pleas to calm myself.
Then I began to wonder whether I was in any great hurry to leave my native land, and the enormity of what was happening to me was brought home to me. I felt there was a vague menace in the air. I was going into a strange land among strangers.
So when Buckingham did return I was not so very eager to resume our journey, for every day…every hour that passed carried me farther away from the life I had known.
At length we came to Boulogne. The ship was waiting for us and as I stepped aboard there was a discharge of ordnance to mark the significance of the occasion. Mamie was close beside me. She smiled at me reassuringly.
I was on deck watching the coastline of my country slowly disappear from view and I felt afraid and very vulnerable on that seething gray sea. The ship lurched and Mamie persuaded me to go below.
The uncomfortable journey seemed to go on interminably, but I think I was too emotionally disturbed to notice the discomforts as some of the others did.
In due course we came close to land. I went on deck and had my first glimpse of the white cliffs.
My new life had begun.
DISCORD IN THE ROYAL APARTMENTS
It was seven o’clock on that Sunday evening when I set foot on English soil. An assembly of gentlemen was waiting to receive me and an artificial bridge had been set up so that I could disembark easily. This, I was told, had been ordered by the King who was at that time at Canterbury, which was not very far from Dover, and there he was eagerly awaiting news of my arrival.
I wondered then why he was not at Dover and would have impulsively asked this if I had not had to speak through an interpreter, for I felt more than a little annoyed that he had not been there to greet me.
I was informed that a message would be sent to the King immediately to tell him of my coming and he should be with me in less than an hour.
I replied—somewhat imperiously, Mamie said afterward—that I was too tired to receive anyone that evening. The journey had been exhausting and I needed food and rest.
I was told that it should be as I wished and we proceeded at once to the castle where it had been arranged that I should spend the night.
The castle was near the coast and I hated it from the moment I saw it. It was very gloomy, quite unlike the Louvre, Chenonceaux, Chambord…those castles to which I was accustomed, and as my footsteps rang out on the bare boards I noticed how shabby everything was.
I said that I would retire to my apartments without delay for more than anything I needed rest. Perhaps some food could be brought for my lady of honor and myself. I made it clear that I wished to see no one until the morning.
At least they seemed eager to comply with my wishes, and I was immediately conducted to my apartment. I gasped with horror when I saw it. There were tapestries on the walls but they were dingy and dusty. Mamie went to the bed and felt it. It was hard and lumpy. I had never seen such a bed in any of our French castles or palaces. And this was the room they had prepared for the Queen of England!
“Never mind,” said Mamie. “Don’t get angry. You can change everything later. But just for tonight accept it.”
“Don’t they want me here?”
“Of course they want you! You have to remember that they do not live in the style that we do. They are barbarians compared with us.”
“What of men like the Duke of Buckingham and the Earl of Holland? They are as elegant as any Frenchman.”
“Perhaps it is just their castles which are different. But never mind about that now. We need rest. Everything will look better in the morning.”
“I don’t think this place will ever look better. It will be worse when the sunlight picks out the horrors and shows them to us more clearly.”
But as usual she soothed me. We ate a little together and then she helped me to bed.
Tired as I was it was not easy to sleep. All the excitement I had felt through the wedding and festivities had disappeared and in its place was a growing apprehension.
But Mamie was right. I did feel better in the daylight, for even though it showed up the threadbare state of the bedcurtains, it lit up those dark corners and eliminated the shadows which had been so disturbing on the previous night. Breakfast was brought to the apartment and Mamie and I were eating it when a messenger came into the room.
He bowed respectfully, and said, “Pardon the intrusion, Your Majesty, but the King has arrived from Canterbury and he wishes you to know that he is waiting to see you.”
I stood up. I would see him without delay. This was the moment for which I had been waiting ever since I had seen the portrait of him and knew I was to be his wife.
Mamie was looking at me anxiously, warning me not to be over-impulsive. I smiled at her. “He is my husband,” I reminded her, “and I am naturally all eagerness to meet him.”
She tidied my hair and smoothed my gown. “You look enchanting,” she whispered and kissed me.