And there was his Queen! I embraced her warmly. Henry had not lied. She was delightful.
I said to her: “I should not have come to England but for the pleasure of seeing you. I shall love you as my daughter and serve you as a queen.”
The soft eyes filled with tears and she looked surprised and relieved and I wondered whether her life in England was all that a happy wife’s should be.
She replied that in love and obedience none of my children—not even the King—should exceed her. Which I thought charming.
Charles smiled at her indulgently and I could see that she was in love with him as I supposed most women would be. I hoped that he would make her happy; but I had heard many rumors about the life he led and I knew that he had always been promiscuous. When he was wandering in Europe perhaps he could be forgiven, but it must be different now that he had a Queen and was restored to the throne.
He was absolutely delighted and amused by James Crofts and made much of him, which I thought he should not have done quite so openly before the Queen. I promised myself I would point this out to him when we were alone.
During his brief stay at Greenwich, Charles asked if I would like to have Somerset House as a residence while I was in England. “I know you were always fond of the place,” he said; and I told him I should like that very much.
In due course Charles and the Queen returned to Hampton Court and it was arranged that I should follow later. I would need a little rest, Charles said, after the rigors of the journey, for he knew how I loathed those sea crossings.
I was not sorry to have a quiet time to myself.
James Crofts had gone off with the King’s party and just a few of my intimates remained so I looked forward to a few peaceful days before we moved on. It was pleasant to sit quietly overlooking the river and talk in a desultory way to Henry, whose conversation I always found so amusing.
Henry was a man who always seemed to know what was going on. He could sniff out scandals and rumors and devote himself to the task of discovering the truth behind them; and it was only to be expected that he must know of the troubles between the King and his new Queen.
I said that I thought Charles was extremely lucky in his Queen and how delighted I was that they seemed so happy.
“Ah,” said Henry, “I am not sure that the Queen is so happy.”
“What do you mean?” I demanded.
Henry’s eyes were sparkling. He loved imparting gossip, although as this concerned my son he was quickly looking rather grave.
“The Queen is hurt and angry.”
“She did not appear to be so.”
“She would not wish you to know of her troubles as soon as you arrived.”
“What troubles are these?”
“The King’s mistress. It is Barbara Castlemaine who is at the root of the trouble.”
“I have heard her name.”
“Dearest Majesty, who has not heard of her name? She has completely enslaved the King. She is a most handsome woman…the most beautiful in England, some say…and a virago into the bargain. It is she who is causing the trouble between the King and the Queen.”
“She was his mistress…was she not?…before the Queen arrived in England?”
“Before and after, dear lady. And now the King wants to make her one of the women of the bedchamber.”
“No! Surely not.”
“I will tell you what happened. When the list was presented to the Queen, Barbara Castlemaine’s name was at the top of it. She struck it through. Later the King led in the Castlemaine and presented her to the Queen, who received her graciously and gave her her hand to be kissed. She was not familiar with English, and although she must have heard of the Castlemaine and her place in the King’s affections, she did not recognize her name when it was written down and so behaved in a welcoming way. Then one of her women whispered to her who the lady was, and the Queen was so shocked and tried so hard to restrain her feelings that the blood gushed from her nose and she fell to the floor in a fit.”
“The poor child! Charles should have known better.”
“Charles was horrified at her behavior. You see, Madam, he is completely under the spell of the Castlemaine. He said the Queen had behaved badly and incorrectly and should make amends to the lady.”
“Charles said that!”
“I agree that it was most unlike him but when the best of us are in the wrong we seek to make our actions right and perhaps act as we would not in other circumstances. Catherine however refused to receive the lady, and Charles insists that she should.”
“It is monstrous!” I cried.
“Clarendon tried to persuade the King that he was acting unkindly and the King doubtless knew it and it was against his nature to act so, but as I said he is the slave of my lady Castlemaine.”
I was very angry because I had taken a great liking to the Queen on sight. I thought she was a gentle woman who would be amenable and want to learn; moreover she was an ardent Catholic and I thought that she would be a good influence on Charles.
What a situation to find as soon as I arrived in England! I sat for a long time talking it over with Henry.
“Whenever I come to this country there is trouble,” I said. “Oh, Henry, how I long to be back at Chaillot or Colombes.”
Then I thought of all that was happening in France and of my dear Henriette, whose life was presenting many problems, and suddenly I felt old and for the first time in my life indifferent to the actions of my family. They were men and women now—no longer children. I felt a great urge to cut myself off from trouble, to live in that little château of Colombes where I could surround myself with trusted friends. Most of them were as old as I—or almost. We understood each other. There we could live in peace.
My great desire now was to go back there. I did not want conflict with Charles for I had a feeling that he would always get the better of me. I did not want to quarrel with James and I knew we should if I attempted to tell him where he was wrong. And Henriette had shown me that even she would go her own way. They were the only ones left to me and I did not want to quarrel with any of them.
It seemed a wise decision. Charles and Catherine sorted out their differences about Lady Castlemaine. He had his way—I have come now to think he always did—and Catherine, while accepting Lady Castlemaine and his other mistresses, did not seem to love him any less.
Charles had arranged for me to stay at Greenwich until Somerset House could be ready. Like many beautiful places in England it had been ravaged by Oliver Cromwell and for a while I lived between Greenwich Palace and Denmark House. I was pleased when I could get into Somerset House which was not until late summer. I found that since I had decided to let them all go their own way and not worry too much about the mistakes they were making, they all seemed to like me so much better.
I was very fond of the Queen and she visited me often. She was a sad little creature and I am sure felt very much alone. She longed for a child but although she had miscarriages and so could not be barren, she did not seem to be able to produce a healthy one. It was a great disappointment to Charles but far more so to her. He knew he was not at fault because he had numerous bastards and he never refused to recognize any of them.
I longed to be in my native land. I hated the London winters which seemed so cold, but most of all I disliked the fogs. They affected my chest and I told myself that I must get back to France before long. I was expected to live in England mainly because Charles had given me a pension and Clarendon had wanted the money spent in England to give employment to English people. To have spent it in France would have been tantamount to the English crown’s paying money to that country. So although there was no objection to my visiting France now and then, it was expected of me to make my home in England.