“Baby, that’s not my computer.” He gestures to the laptop on the counter. “It’s the same make and model but it’s not the one I usually use. See?”
Upon closer inspection I can tell that this computer is newer than the one I’ve seen him working on.
“So you left this out here to test me?”
“I wouldn’t say that. I just made sure that no matter which choice you made, I could live with the consequences. But I knew all along you’d never go through with it.”
“You did?”
“Of course.” He wraps his arms around me from behind. “You’re always saving me, remember? It’s not in your nature to hurt someone you care about it. No matter what. But that’s not the only reason this laptop is here. It’s not just a decoy. It’s a peace offering.”
I raise an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”
He kisses me soundly on the neck and then grabs the flash drive. “It has all the information about my father’s shady associates that I could find. This should keep Agent Walker happy without giving him anything I don’t want him to see.”
“Do you really think this will work?”
“I can only hope so. But I guess there’s only one way to find out. Do it.”
He watches as I put the flash drive in the USB port. Once it shows up on screen, I double-click the file on it to open it.
“There. I guess there’s no going back now. I hope this works.”
He lifts me in his arms. “I’m sure it will. In the meantime there’s a few things we need to discuss.”
“Oh? Things like what?” My smile grows when his hands dip under the hem of my T-shirt.
“Well, I can’t let this go without some sort of punishment. I’m sure you understand.”
I giggle all the way back to the bedroom.
†
Luke’s brand of punishment is more like pleasure. Lots and lots of pleasure. We float together on a cloud of bliss fueled only by our desire for each other. By the time we come up for air, it’s almost midnight.
“We should probably stop for food and water at some point,” Luke mentions between suctioning kisses to my spine.
I sigh at each tender touch, my skin tingling all over from being rubbed, teased and scratched. The more he touches me, the more I seem to want him. It’s an insatiable desire he’s stoked in me, like a wild animal that’s never quite fed.
I find I like being wild with him.
“Food is probably a good idea.” But I’m too lazy and satisfied to move. It’s so tempting to stay here in this bed and ignore the outside world forever. But despite the fact that everything is out in the open now, there’s still the very real threat of us being torn apart.
My mind runs through every worst case scenario, from Agent Walker arresting me despite Luke’s peace offering, to him deliberately messing with Grace’s custody situation to punish me. My little bubble of happiness leaks away and I shiver under the reality of all the bad possibilities still out there on the horizon.
“You just tensed up. What’s going on in there?” Luke kisses the side of my head and then pulls me back into his embrace. It’s my favorite place to be, wrapped up in his arms and surrounded by his love.
“Just thinking about everything. About what happens if this doesn’t work.”
He sighs. I turn over to face him. “Thank you again for what you did. I haven’t forgotten that I’m not the only one with a lot at stake here.”
“It’s all going to be fine. If this doesn’t work, something else will. We can always figure out a solution as long as we do it together. No more secrets.”
That’s a promise I can get behind. It killed me to hide things from him before and that’s not a mistake I’ll ever repeat. “I promise to always tell you the truth. Even if it’s that your feet are cold.”
He cracks up and then presses the soles of his feet harder against my shins. I howl as the ice cold skin makes contact.
“Holy shit. You’ll pay for that!”
We roll around and around on top of the covers until I manage to straddle him. He’s still laughing when I plant my hands on his chest pushing him down. Of course, he could easily overpower me if he wanted to but he allows me to hold him down.
“I surrender.”
His hips flex, pressing his cock against me. He enjoys letting me take the reins for sure. But I can tell he’s just as exhausted as I am. Neither of us has the energy to deliver on any erotic threats right now so I snuggle against his chest, listening to his heartbeat as it thumps beneath my cheek.
Something occurs to me as I’m drifting toward sleep.
“Luke?”
“Hmm?”
“I know you said you only put stuff you want them to see on that computer but what happens if that stuff leads them to other things? Things that get your father in trouble?”
His muscles tighten beneath my chest and by the sudden tension in his body, I know this isn’t the first time he’s considered this scenario.
“Oh Luke. I never meant for you to have to choose between me and your family. I would never want you to do that.” That’s basically what Agent Walker was trying to force me to do, choose between my sister and my best friend. I would never put him in that position.
He sits up, taking me with him until we’re chest to chest. Forehead to forehead. His hands gather up the long waves of my hair and he uses the long tail to hold me still.
“Seven, listen closely. It wasn’t even a choice. You are my family. And I will do whatever I have to do to keep you safe.”
I can feel the truth behind what he’s saying with every word. When he told me he loves me, he really meant it.
I guess love isn’t only for the lucky few after all.
chapter thirteen
†
LUKE
Over the next few weeks, things are quiet. Seven and I are both on pins and needles waiting for something, anything, to happen. But Agent Walker doesn’t contact her again and though we’re watching the news carefully for any mention of arrests, there’s nothing.
It’s too soon to declare victory but as we approach a month without calamity, I start breathing a little easier. We called their bluff and nothing bad happened. I’m not sure who is looking out for us upstairs but it appears that Seven’s been granted a get out of jail free card.
And so has my father, apparently.
Slowly the knot of uncertainty that’s been lodged in my stomach loosens and I start to believe that things are going to work out okay.
Then I open the door on a Monday morning to see my mom with tears in her eyes. And I know instantly that something is very wrong.
“Mom? What’s going on?”
I move back so she can come in the apartment. Seven is sitting at the kitchen counter drinking her coffee. Her eyes widen when she sees my mom and she tugs the hem of the shirt she’s wearing lower over her bare thighs.
“Anita! I didn’t know you were coming over this morning. I’ll just go change.” She abandons her coffee on the counter and edges out of the room, giving me a mortified glance before her face disappears around the corner.
“Is everything okay, Mom? Is Grandpop in the hospital again?”
She wrings her hands, her keychain jingling with the nervous movement. When I see the look on her face, the knot in my stomach is back.
“Oh, sweetheart. You haven’t been online today at all, have you?”
I shake my head mutely. She watches helplessly as I stroke the mouse pad on Seven’s laptop to wake it up. There’s always a laptop accessible in our place. And now that we’re together, we know all of each other’s passwords. Neither of us has anything to hide.
Her homepage is a search engine so I pull up the MSN homepage. The headline stares back at me.
Billionaire mogul Max Marshall dies in FBI raid.
When I was a little boy and something scared me, my mom used to make up a story about it. Like if I was scared of a bug, she’d tell me a story about the bug walking home after a long day to see his family. Or about how the monster under my bed was really a misunderstood creature who liked the dark instead of the sunlight.
For the first time in a long time, I wish that she could spin a story for me to make it all better. Tell me that my father is on a long vacation or that he’s the captain of a pirate ship and out to sea. But as I stare at the black and white letters on the screen, I know there’s no way to spin this story that can make it better.
Nothing can change the sick certainty that my actions are directly responsible for my father’s death.
“I called you several times this morning. Then when you didn’t pick up I came straight here.”
Her voice recedes in the background as I walk over to the window overlooking the parking lot. It’s a beautiful day, the contrast of the bright sun to the devastation going on inside my head almost ironic. I recognize a few of my neighbors walking to their cars, holding coffee mugs and purses.
It’s all so normal.
What was it Max said to me? No matter what happens, the world just keeps right on spinning. Something like that. It suddenly seems vital that I remember his exact words, the last wisdom he shared with me. We had so little time together and what we had, I didn’t appreciate.
Now it’s too late.
A while later I come back to myself and realize that I’ve been standing at the window for a long time. My mom and Seven whisper behind me and I can feel their concern in the air. It wraps around me, choking me.
I’m not sure that I can do this right now. Say the right things and appear fine. Not now.
“I’m going out.”
Seven rushes around the kitchen counter. She’s changed clothes into one of the loose sundresses she loves so much. I love them on her, too. This one is a soft yellow. She looks like a ray of sunshine peeking through the clouds.
I don’t deserve sunshine and rainbows.
“Okay, I’ll come with you—”
“No. I need to go … I need to be alone right now.”
Hurt flashes across her face but she smiles, putting on a brave face. Her hand tugs at the ends of her hair. The sight of the nervous gesture only underlines my determination that I’m not good company for her right now. I love her too much to let my darkness take her, too.
“Okay, whatever you need.”
My mom watches as I grab my keys from the counter and then pull on a hat. “I’ll walk you outside. I need to get to the bakery. Rory can only handle things until ten.”
Seven hugs her. “Thank you for coming over, Anita.”
“Call me later and let me know how he’s doing.” My mom’s whisper carries across the room.
“I will. I’ll let you know if he needs anything.” Seven glances over at me and her eyelashes flutter when she realizes I’m listening.
My mom holds out her hand to me just like she used to when I was little. I take it, holding on to her all the way downstairs and until we’re standing next to her car.
“Luke, I know this is terrible. An awful tragedy. I just want you to know that you can talk to me if you need to. Or talk to Seven. But whatever you do, don’t hold it all inside.”
She leans up and kisses me on the cheek. I watch until her car pulls out of the parking lot. My phone beeps. It’s a message from Tank.
Meet us at Gabe’s place.
At least now I have a destination. I get in the car and drive. By the time I pull into Gabe’s driveway, I realize I don’t remember anything of the ride over. The front door of the house opens before I even get out of the car and I recognize Tank’s tall frame.
When I cross the threshold, his hand lands on my shoulder and the tension inside only twists tighter.
Gabe, Zack and Finn are already inside. They all look like hell. None of us seems to know what to say so we just sit around in stunned silence. Finally Tank speaks.
“I pulled some strings to find out what happened. The official story is that Max was taken into FBI custody and died while he was being brought in. His heart couldn’t take the stress of being arrested.”
He runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “That’s all I could find out so far.”
Finn puts an arm around his shoulder. “He was in his seventies, right? Why the hell would they take in an old man that way? There are ways to take someone in without terrorizing them.”
Zack looks up. “Maybe I shouldn’t have called him back to the States. He came back to meet with me and then he just stayed, I guess. If I hadn’t done that, he’d probably be hiding out on a beach somewhere.”
Gabe nudges him. “Don’t think like that. There’s no way you could have known what would happen. Besides, when does Max ever stick around somewhere just for the hell of it? He probably was here for another reason and it had nothing to do with us.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Zack doesn’t look convinced but he doesn’t offer anything else.
I look at my brothers. Tank and Finn stand on one side, Gabe and Zack on the other. They instinctively move toward the sibling they grew up with.
And as usual, I’m alone.
I open my mouth to tell them the part they don’t know. That he was only arrested because I handed him over on a silver platter. That I warned him but it was too little, too late. That I killed our father.
But somehow the words don’t come.
My mom was right. It is a terrible thing. And it’s all my fault.