I waited thirty minutes before a nerdy guy with thick-rimmed glasses and a headset entered the room to announce that it was time. I followed him down a narrow hallway, where we stopped just out of sight of the large audience. He didn't try to make small talk or go all; fan-crazy on me and I was thankful. I gripped the bottle of water in my hands and tried to steady my nerves.
I didn't know why Jinx sent me to do this alone. I wasn’t normally good with one-on-one interviews. I could sing before thousands of people all day long and not have a problem, but put me up against a single person, and I lost my shit. The questions they asked were too personal and there were just some things, which were off limits. I wiped my sweaty palms down the legs of my jeans, while people scurried in all directions during the short commercial break. A short, stocky man behind one of the cameras held up his hand and counted down—three, two, one, before pointing at the skinny, blond talk show host. Then, she opened her mouth. Her voice was like fingernails on a chalkboard.
"Everyone put your hands together for Dirty Affliction's front man, Levi Cross." She stood from her blue, suede chair and began to dance around the set as I made my way onto the floor. Our latest single played in the background. The crowd went nuts, standing on their feet, cheering, and whistling. A few women in the crowd even shouted, "I love you, Levi! Marry me, Levi!" I turned, waved to the enthusiastic crowd, and then blew a kiss, before Melissa wrapped me in a polite hug. She was skinny as a rail and it felt like hugging a bag of bones.
I lowered myself into the blue chair opposite of hers. Suddenly, I regretted not having a drink before this interview, to calm my nerves. Why did I feel like I was in front of a firing squad?
"I have to say, you're even sexier in person," she gushed. "I'm also a big fan! I've followed the band since the beginning. I heard you play for the first time at the "Wally's in LA."
Wow! That was two years ago, when we were playing bars. I sat back in my chair, crossing my ankle over my knee. She shifted in her seat, looking a little nervous. I wondered if I'd slept with this woman. Something about her looked familiar, but after a while, a groupie was a groupie.
"A true groupie," I said with a wink. That was probably inappropriate, but I didn't really give a fuck. I obviously affected her. I could tell by the way she was clenching her thighs together on live TV. I gave her a knowing smirk and she blushed a bright red, before she flipped through her note cards and began with the questions.
One: "I'm going to go ahead and put this question out there. I know it's what's on everyone's mind. Are all you guys single? Well, we all know that Linc is married now. What about the rest of you guys? Is there anyone special in your life, Levi? Perhaps, a special lady out there?" She asked, arching a brow that probably didn’t move, due to all the Botox in her plastic face. I leaned back in my chair and drummed my fingers on the blue suede as I turned to face the crowd.
"They're all special ladies, Melissa." A round of applause followed my response. "But, as far as having that one special person, that answer would be no."
Two: "Don't you ever think about settling down at some point? Finding that someone to share your life with?" She asked, with a smile on her full, red lips. She crossed her legs, which caused her skirt to ride up her tanned thigh, and I couldn't help that my eyes went there. She cleared her throat after a moment, getting my attention. I'd been caught ogling her on national TV. Her faced blushed a deep red again and she repeated her question.
"That's just it, Melissa. There's no room in our lives right now. Travel, appearances, tabloids, already take up every minute of every day, it wouldn’t be fair bringing someone else into this life. There's no time left in a day for us. Just the days of walking down the street without security, are long gone." And, those days were gone. "When we first started out and the bus would stop for gas, we'd all pile out. The band would go into whatever station, just so we could stretch our legs or grab a bag of chips. We can't even do that shit anymore, because there's always someone there with cameras, or smartphones taking pictures or videoing us, so that they can post it on social media. So . . . you see the simple things in life no longer exist for us. I wouldn't dream of dragging someone into that kind of life." She gave a polite nod with a look of sympathy in her eyes.
The thing was, she had no idea how much I'd love to have that special someone—someone to share my days and nights with, to cuddle up to after a show, instead of empty groupie pussy. I wanted someone in my life that loved me for me, and not for who I was or what I could give her. I wanted someone who could live with the good, the bad, and the ugly of me.
Three: "We’ve all read about Linc's struggle with drugs and alcohol. What about the rest of you? Do any of you struggle with addiction?" she asked, red lips pulled into a thin line, waiting for my answer.
"Well, first of all, I'd like to say that Linc is doing great in his recovery and we couldn't be prouder of him. As for me, I drink a little but, nothing in excess. I've spent some time in rehab, everyone knows this, but it's all under control. We're rock stars, so it's always available everywhere we go. It's just something we have to work hard to control. We all have our own demons, and as for the other members of the band, that's not really my story to tell." I could tell by the look on her face that she expected more of an answer from me, but she wasn’t getting it. Rock stars partied. Everyone knew that. Did we take it to extremes sometimes? Yes. That was a given.
Four: "I know all the girls are dying to know . . . boxers or briefs?” She arched her perfectly sculpted brow and leaned in closer to me. I couldn't believe she just asked that damned corny question.
"Commando." I looked at the crowd and wiggled my brows suggestively, while they cheered. I snickered to myself and thought about how Linc would have answered that question. He would have said, "Free Ballin’," and not been the least bit ashamed of it. He was a PR nightmare, but the ladies’ loved him for it. Me, on the other hand, my mother would be calling me the minute I walked off the set, for being what she would call ‘disrespectful’ on national TV in front of thousands of people.
Five: “What’s your most memorable rock star moment?" She asked, glancing up from her stack of note cards in her lap.
"That would be Star and Shar, the kinky twins I met last month in Atlanta. That was a fucking good time. Literally." I laughed and shook my head. Yeah, I could expect a call from my mom after that one. "Hello, ladies." I said, looking into the camera.
"Nah . . . I’m just kidding." Not really. "That would have to be getting nominated for Best Album. It just doesn't get any better than that," I said.
"I love you, Levi!" A scream came from the crowd. I shifted in my chair so that I was facing them, instead of the host.
"I love you, too," I said with a wink. I ran my damp palms over the knees of my jeans.