Serenity listened to her mind and focused on her breath. Then she remembered the fight she had with her mom later that day. She had blamed her mother for her father leaving them—and everything else that was wrong.
The next day Serenity had run away, never to return. She spent the next couple of weeks hiding out in the Ocala library. A librarian named Heather found her reading and crying in the stacks the first day. Heather fed her, got her to school until she graduated, and—breaking every rule in the book—let Serenity sleep in the storeroom at night. When she left, Serenity began her twenty-year quest to just be normal and do whatever it took to fit in. Joe was the one who had convinced her to make up with her mother after their son Joseph was born, but she still had felt ashamed of her mother, ashamed of the years growing up in VW buses and tents while other kids grew up in McDonalds and Walmarts.
But now she heard her mother’s voice again at the end of their daily meditation, and she sounded strong and admirable. It was the first time she had ever visualized her mother that way. Now in her forties, Serenity was finally ready to forgive her mother for being… magnificent. And she knew why her mother had fought so hard.
In her mind’s eye, Serenity saw her mother rising, effortless and strong to give her followers their sendoff. “Now slowly expand your attention to the world. Open your eyes, and commit to being daring, go do something wondrous for your world.”
Serenity felt strong and calm and clean. After years of pretending, she finally was an honest woman.
A knock on the door interrupted her trip to the past.
She opened the door. “Mr. Kendall.”
“Ms. Hammer,” he said.
“Mr. Kendall.”
“I need the report.”
“You have the report in your hand. Tell Councilman Bentley we have been more than cooperative. Can I bring you a cup of coffee?”
“As long as the coffee comes with the rest of this report.” She looked at him and he twisted slightly so his eyes appeared out of the mirrors and focused on her. She tried to see if he was joking or not. Couldn’t tell.
“There’s one account that seems to be missing.” He looked at the report in his hand and read off the number of the Special Projects account. “Permanent accounts with numbers preceding and following this account are here.”
Serenity paused. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Probably an old account that was deleted years ago. Give me the account number and I’ll get Doom to go into the history files and get you an explanation while you sit back in your cubicle and go over the books you have now.”
“Also,” he made a long pause and Serenity wondered if he were done. But the glasses stayed on her. “That account was the one your contractor had on his invoices.”
“Really.”
“I look forward to your explanation.” Kendall turned and walked back to the little cubicle, behind the man with the Alabama hat.
Serenity looked at Doom’s desk. No Doom. Then she went around the corner to the server room. The door was locked. She pulled out her key ring, unlocked the door, and peered inside. No Doom. Serenity locked up and made the rounds without finding Doom anywhere inside the library.
When she reached Joy she mouthed, “Doom.”
Joy pointed out the door. “Outside. Practicing to be a mommy.”
Serenity ran out the door and found a crowd of bulging stomachs standing under the oak tree, but no Doom. She turned to look back at the door, and started to ask the group’s leader if she had seen Doom. But when she turned again, Doom was walking up to the back of the crowd of pregnant women, her thinness making her look like a solitary “1” in a field of “0”s. Serenity pulled her out from the crowd. “Where were you?”
Doom smiled a conspiratorial smile. “Taking care of business. Inside.”
“No, you weren’t.”
Doom smiled. “Then I was here.”
“No, you weren’t.”
“I might have been. No one can tell.” While she spoke she stared over Serenity’s head, scanning back and forth. “I’m studying paramilitary techniques to help me patrol the library. We need a security force with some bite.”
Serenity pointed two fingers at her eyes. “Doom, my eyes are here.” She paused. “First time I’ve had to use a line like that, that way.”
Doom met her eyes.
“We have security, Doom.”
“We have seventeen-year-old Caleb, who is so shy about his acne that he hides in the break room. Besides, I’m not patrolling for people like that boy who takes books without checking them out just to prove he’s a non-conformist. I’m taking care of real threats to our dream. The price of a library is eternal vigilance.”
“God protect us all from you. Anyway, Kendall needs your help again.”
Another conspiratorial smile. “Took care of Kendall. Karen here was just about to show us a real placenta. That’s why I came back out here. Can’t it wait?”
“No, it can’t. A what?” Serenity looked around and saw the other women turning green. Doom’s eyes glittered.
“I’m not afraid of a little blood.”
“Jesus, Doom. Look, right now, I need you inside or it’s going to be our blood. Kendall wants to know why the Special Projects account isn’t on the books.”
“Give me ten minutes and I’ll build a trail showing Special Projects moved to the Friends of the Library, since they do most of the fund raising. Probably should have given him that in the first place.”
“Good. Remember to log in as me. Anyone goes to jail, it will be me.”
“I promise, but I also promise that I will not let you go to jail. Or let the library be stopped. No matter what.”
“That’s not what I said, but go.”
They fast-walked back inside and took a right toward the server room. Kendall was coming back from the central printer with a stack of paper in his hand.
Serenity smiled. “We’ve got you covered, Mr. Kendall. Ms. Doom will have your information for you in just a few minutes. You can tell Councilman Bentley that’s what we do here at the Maddington Library: get information to people when they need it.”
“No need.”
Serenity thought he was smiling this time, but she wasn’t sure. “Got a copy of the report myself right here, with that fund included. Went into your computer room myself to save you the trouble.”
Serenity’s smile disappeared. “That room was locked. And there are passwords on that computer.”
“Wasn’t a problem.” He was smiling now and Serenity was sure of it. “For me.”
forty-six
call for help
SERENITY PUT ON HER BIGGEST fake smile (so much for honest living) and said, “Oh, how very nice,” and ran to her office. She picked up the phone.
“Donna, I’ve got to talk to him now.”
“He’s doing a closing, Serenity. He’ll call you back in half an hour.”
“He’s my lawyer. I need him now.”
“Serenity, he’s a real estate lawyer. He did a closing for you and Joe like ten years ago. Do you have a real estate emergency today? What does Joe say?”
“That’s just it. I can’t talk to Joe.”
There was a long pause, followed by, “George doesn’t handle divorces.”
Another long pause. Faulkner peeked out and she thought of handing the phone to him.
“How about this, Serenity? I get him to call you back as soon as he gets out, and in the meanwhile, you go talk to Joe? Or maybe a marriage counselor? Or maybe just an individual therapist for yourself?”
“Fine.”
Serenity slammed down the phone as Doom burst into the room.
“Ms. Hammer, we’ve got to do something. He’s going to destroy the library.”