But, even though that kind of freedom and education was there, my parents were strict Catholics. Questions about sex were never asked for fear of getting a mouthful of Fels Naptha soap, the stuff Mom cleaned the floors with. She did it to Billy once when he asked what "motherfucker" meant. I never attempted to ask a question regarding sex after that.
Instead, I always asked Billy, or a few of my girlfriends at the little country school we all went to. A few years later I realized how uneducated I was in the matter of sex. At that time I had nothing to go on but hearsay. Until that day in the barn.
Billy's birthday party was great fun. Any kind of party was fun on the farm – we had acres of land and used it to play games and ride the horses. Mother made the best apple cider in the Midwest and all of us kids longed for it, especially since we were allowed only to drink it on special occasions.
After the party was over, and the guests had all departed, Mother asked me to carry two of the empty cider bottles to the storeroom in the main barn. Normally that would have been Billy's job, but no one had seen him since the last few guests left. We figured he had gone for a walk with his dog, Corky. So I picked up the two jugs and carried them toward the barn.
The side door of the main barn was open, which was unusual because Dad had finished milking the cows almost an hour before and he always kept the doors closed. I walked into the barn and looked around. Seeing nothing unusual – I thought a stray animal might have pushed the door open – I turned to leave. Just as I was about to step out of the barn I heard Corky bark.
I turned, wondering where the sound had come from. Corky barked again. This time I could tell the sound was coming from the far side of the building, behind the huge threshing machine. I began to walk toward it when I heard Billy telling Corky to be quiet.
I can't remember why I didn't call to him, or ask where he was hiding. Perhaps I really knew something was going on – I sensed Billy was doing something secret he would want to hide. So I walked near the threshing machine very quietly and set the bottles down on the floor.
Billy was behind a large partition that separated a corner of the barn from the main area. It was a place where we stored bushel baskets and scarecrows and such things. There was a bale of hay on the floor. Billy was sitting on top of it. His pants were down around his ankles.
I stopped dead, breathless – he couldn't see me – and stared at him. I had seen him naked when we had been young and for some reason had always thought his penis, the size it was then, would be the same now. I never had any idea it could grow! And so I was shocked when I saw what stood between his legs.
Let me tell you right here that Billy was beautiful – still is – in a very masculine way. He may have been my brother, but I had always been attracted to him. I would get excited at school when I would overhear the other girls talking about him, how good-looking he was, how they would give anything to have a date with him, how they thought he looked like a movie star. I was proud that he was my brother!
So you can imagine my shock when I stood there looking at my handsome brother almost naked. His eyes were shut tight and the intense expression on his face was almost frightening. His whole body seemed to be concentrating on his hand which was running up and down along the thing between his legs.
And what a thing! I can remember even now the tingle I felt through my entire body as I watched him beat it up and down. It filled his hand completely and the head was a dark color, darker than the shaft or the fingers of his hand. Each time he drove his hand up it, the huge sac between his legs lifted and fell. And everything was surrounded by thick dark hair. I was mesmerized.
Looking back now, it couldn't have been but a minute before he came. At the time it seemed like hours. He worked his hand up and down the long organ as Corky sat in front of him watching. His pants were in a clump around his feet and his underpants were about thigh-high, and I thought they would rip because he kept spreading his legs farther apart. The look on his face changed to a big grin and his moans seemed to transform into light sighs. Then it happened.
White liquid shot from the tip! I couldn't believe it at first – I thought something terrible had happened. But I recovered quickly as I watched the look of absolute pleasure come over Billy's face as the liquid shot up onto his shirt and into the air. Corky barked as some of the semen hit his nose, which sounds funny now, but at the time seemed to add to the unbelievability of the scene.
I thought it would never stop. It finally did, of course, but it all seemed in slow motion before the final gush ran down his hand. I watched as he leaned back and relaxed, bracing himself with both hands. His cock flapped back against his stomach and started getting soft. The head was still there! I thought it had exploded. There was white thick liquid all down the long organ, on the sac between his legs, and even on his undershorts.
Billy sat like that for a moment and then sat up straight and looked down at his penis. He seemed quite happy. I didn't know if it was because of his birthday party or because of what had just taken place. I guessed it was the latter. And, of course, I was right.
I was still standing there like a frozen statue when he stood up and pulled his undershorts up and over the long-hanging organ. It was after he began to buckle his belt that I realized I wasn't supposed to be there and had better run fast or be caught. Of course I didn't know then that Billy liked to have an audience when he masturbated. But I was to learn it very soon.
I crept away, none too soon, and hid behind the threshing machine till he and Corky had left the barn. Then I got up and returned the bottles to the storeroom and made my way back to the house. I can remember clearly that there was a strange feeling down between my legs that night. I was excited. I don't think that feeling has ever quite left me.
I was so amazed by the incident I fell asleep immediately that night. But a week later, when I witnessed the same situation in the barn, I couldn't fall asleep at all.
After supper, that particular evening, Billy said he and Corky were going to walk down the road and back around the huge cornfield. I asked to go along, but Billy said he wanted to be alone – I think he said he had to memorize his Latin for class the next day. So they left, but when they did I noticed something in Billy's eyes that told me I should follow them and see just where they would end up. Sure enough he made for the bale of hay, just like the first time.
They had cut through the cornfield – not around it as Billy had said – and gone directly into the main barn. I followed and entered behind them. This time I was more cautious. I found a slit in the boards of the partition that afforded me good protection from Billy's gaze, and still gave me a perfect view of the action.
He pulled his pants to his feet and then lowered his underpants. His organ was much smaller than I remembered it – I didn't know then how it could change. He touched it with his hands, lifting it, dropping it, rubbing it. Suddenly it seemed to lengthen – then thicken. The tip grew into a smooth rounded bulb. The long stem was wide now, like the other time, and Billy wrapped his right hand around it. Immediately, he began to rub it up and down. Corky lay there, content to watch his master. I stood there, not content at all.
Something was burning inside me. I brought my hand down to my pants and pressed there between my legs. The sensation was a good one. I pressed harder, spreading my legs a bit. I could feel the lips of my young pussy spread apart a bit and moistness was evident because my fingers felt damp.