"Maggie? Mag? Open up, it's Billy. I have to talk to you." I recognized the voice immediately, but in it I recognized a gentleness that told me maybe he wasn't mad at me for spying on him. I quickly opened the door. He came into the room and locked it again.
"Billy, I'm sorry…" He stopped my words by placing his hand on my lips.
"Maggie, listen, don't be sorry. I would have been doing the same thing if it was you behind the partition. You've been watching for some time, haven't you?"
I thought it best not to lie. "Yes," I said softly.
"Well, I don't know how to explain," Billy said, thinking I needed to be told just exactly what it was he had been doing.
"Billy, I know what you were doing. I mean, I know what this is." I thought I did, at least.
"What's it called?"
I pronounced it very slowly and clearly. "It's called mas-tur-ba-tion." I was really proud of myself for having said it so perfectly.
Billy smiled. "Right, little sister. It's just that mas-tur-ba-tion is something a girl your age shouldn't even be thinking about, much less watching. In fact I don't think I should be doing it, but I get these urges!"
"I do too."
He stared at me, realizing maybe that I wasn't as little as he thought. Hell, I thought to myself, hasn't he noticed my breasts? Didn't he realize some of the girls he talked about dating were girls in my class at school? I was always "little sister" and I suddenly wanted that to change.
"What do you mean?" he asked, interested.
"Well," I continued, "sometimes I like to touch myself down there, like you do, and it feels really good. I especially like to do it when I watch you because that's when I'm really excited."
"Maggie, you shouldn't!" He almost screamed at me and started walking around the room. I think it was his big-protective-brother image falling apart. He had to realize that I was growing up as rapidly as he was and I was just as sexual as any other person my age. Or maybe more.
Finally, I blurted it out. "Billy, damn it, I like watching you! What else can I do, dream about it? I never even knew what a man looked like till I saw you in the barn! How am I supposed to find things out? I even want to touch it like you did!"
He stared at me in astonishment. I was a bit astonished that I had said it, but it was true and I was glad I had finally said it. It knocked him cold for a few moments, but it certainly warmed him up inside. He sat on the bed and looked at me and smiled. He was scared, I could tell that, but more than that he seemed suddenly excited.
"You really want to touch it?" he asked timidly. "You wouldn't tell Mother?"
What did he take me for, I wondered. "If I didn't tell Mother about you in the barn, why would I tell her about it now?"
"That's true. Maggie, listen. This is all so amazing to me. I mean, I didn't think you even knew about such things or cared about them. I guess it's kinda nice that you do, 'cause now we can talk about it. Tom and I talk about it a lot, 'cause we're both horny."
Tom was his best friend, a nice guy who lived about a mile from us, on another farm. One day, a few weeks earlier, I had seen Tom walk into the barn alone, and I immediately thought he was going to do the same thing with himself that Billy had done, but he emerged in a minute carrying a bushel basket.
"Can I touch it?" I asked simply.
"Now? Here?"
"You locked the door," I reminded him.
"Yeah, 'cause I thought Mother might come snooping or something. I wasn't planning on taking off my pants in front of my little sister."
I decided to grow up a lot for him in those few seconds. "Look, Billy, I'm not 'little sister' any more. I'm a friend who wants to play, have fun, learn things…"
His laughter stopped me. He often has referred to that moment sitting on my bed. I guess I must have looked pretty silly sitting there demanding that he no longer be my brother, but rather a teacher of sex and a playmate in sexual affairs.
But he listened to me. He never again called me "little sister" in that context. He did become a friend who played with me, taught me a lot of things, and had a lot of fun doing it.
"Okay, Maggie, you win," he said, opening his zipper. He opened his belt and then his pants and pulled them to his knees. Then he took my hand and placed it over the lump in his white shorts. I was crazy with excitement as I felt it stir under my fingers. Then he stood up and pulled his shorts down and his penis jumped out, just inches from my face.
I stared at it, looked it over, touched it lightly with my fingertips. The skin was soft, much to my surprise, and yet the entire thing was rock-hard. I brought my little finger up to the tip and rubbed along the little slit in the end, and then down along the long shaft to his heavy balls below.
"I have big balls," he said quite honestly. I didn't know if they were small or large, but I knew they felt nice in my hand. They were covered by dark hairs and seemed to move by themselves as I cupped my warm palm around them.
Billy stood there as his pants fell to his feet, and then he spread his legs as much as he could so I could hold even tighter to his balls. I was fascinated with everything I was touching. When I held his balls, he made his penis move up and down in front of my face.
"How do you do that?" I asked, amazed.
"Easy. Muscles," he replied, making it bob up and down again. I grabbed it and giggled, thinking it was very funny.
I held tightly to it as Billy sat on the bed next to me. He let me play with it for a long time, and I knew he was enjoying it, because his organ stayed hard the entire time and every now and then he would sigh or moan in pleasure.
He finally got so excited he couldn't stand it any longer. He pulled my hand away.
"Don't," he said, "I'm going to come!"
"Yes, do, I want you to!" I said. He looked at me strangely. "Really," I added.
"Really?" he asked.
"Really," I said, grabbing his penis again. This time I tried to do exactly what he had done, pulling my closed hand up and down it, drawing the skin up and down, rubbing the head with my thumb. I put my other hand under his balls and held them gently in my hand feeling them move in their sac.
"Oh, Maggie, yes, that's nice," he said softly, watching what I was doing very closely. His hips moved slightly, in rhythm with my hand, and I could feel his entire body beginning to stiffen as he neared his climax.
"Is it okay?" I asked, seeing the smile on his face.
"Yes, yes," he whispered, still watching my hand pumping on his organ. "Maggie… I'm going to come!"
As he said it, the white liquid poured out. My hand was suddenly soaked with the warm sticky fluid I had seen so many times but had never touched. I stopped moving my hand as he grabbed my arm. He murmured something I couldn't understand as he watched the cream gush from the end of his penis and run down my small fingers, over his balls below.
"God, Maggie," he said, releasing my arm relaxing his whole body. He fell back against the bed and stretched out, as if he had no breath left. "That was wonderful."
I released his penis from my grip and wiped my hand with a tissue until most of the liquid was off, and then I rubbed it against my jeans till it was almost dry. His penis was still wet and shining, and I wiped it with a tissue, but had a hard time getting all the fluid off his heavy balls because they kept slipping and I was afraid to press hard. Finally I just sat there staring at his male equipment, thinking how beautiful he was.
"That really was great, you know," Billy said, looking up at me. He winked and then pulled me down next to him and put his arm around me. "I think little sister just grew up!"
"I think you're right," I answered. He rubbed his hands along my body, playfully, not sexually, until he stopped at my thighs.
"You saw me, now it's my turn to see you," he said, resting his hand on my leg.