“We married because our families wished it. She brought a fair dowry, and I brought her family some respectability. Our ancestors came over with William the Conqueror, you know?”
“Really?” I said.
“We grew to love each other, yet she was never a strong woman. I had always imagined a wife who shared in my interests, with whom I could ride, dance and hunt. She was too fragile for my interests, and then she bore Katie. She had three miscarriages after her, and having little William killed her. My greatest regret was never being able to get home before she died.”
I reached out and took his hand.
“I am sure she understood. I would have done, so you need feel no guilt,” I said.
He looked at me with a frown across his brow. “Do you really think so?”
I nodded, squeezing his hand.
“Oh, I pray to God you are right. I have felt so bad about it for so long.”
Groves came and cleared the table, viewing my proximity to the Major with one arched eyebrow.
Roger noticed and laughed. “Groves, you old fox, Miss Jane was comforting me as I poured out my woes about dear Marjorie,” he said.
“It is good to hear you laugh once more, sir,” the butler said.
“Then I shall have to do so more often.”
Groves left the room, returning with a fruit sponge, he served us both, and stepped back.
“Will there be anything else this evening, sir?”
“No, thank you Groves, you may retire.”
“Thank you, sir. Good night, Miss Jane, good night sir.”
“Good night Groves,” Roger said, so I smiled as he retired. “He is a good man,” he said.
“Yes, he seems very loyal. Has he been with you for long?”
“His father was my grandfather’s butler. It is a family tradition.”
We ate our sponge in silence. I was warm, well fed, in a comfortable home, with a man who wanted to take me to bed. I was about the happiest I had ever been. I was a million miles and hundreds of years away from Edward Ryan, and I didn’t miss him in the least.
I was making sure I had every last crumb from my bowl, when I noticed he was watching me. I blushed in spite of myself.
“You make me feel self-conscious,” I said, and he smiled.
“I am sorry; it is just that I have never met anyone quite like you.”
“That is just as well, I should hate it if I were not totally unique,” I said, smiling back at him.
“You make me smile. Everything you say is like a breath of fresh air.”
“Do I get extra pay for it?” I asked.
He laughed, a deep and rich sound, I liked it.
He took my hand again.
“Dear Jane, what have you done to me?”
“I don’t know. I assure you that I have not intentionally done anything.”
“Not only are you so beautiful, but you are so natural and so wonderfully fresh. I am so glad you came into our lives.”
I finished my wine, and squeezed his hand.
“I am too well aware that I am not good enough for you. So perhaps this is not too wise?” I said.
“Wisdom be damned. I thought you cared not one jot?”
“I don’t for myself, but for you, I care so much,” I said, and saw tears come to his eyes.
“Dear child. Know that I care only for you, and would never see you hurt.”
“You are too kind. But, I protest, sir, as I am hardly a child, and I do not deserve such.”
“Nonsense. You are so beautiful; you could have the pick of whomsoever you should desire.”
“I am content, sir, with where I am, and whom I am with.”
Roger seemed to slump, and I sensed he was crying.
I moved to hold him and his head fell to my breast. The tears came, and he began to sob. I stroked his head, just waiting for him.
At last, he seemed to regain some control, and looked up at me.
“I am sorry, Jane, these are the first tears I have been able to shed for my dear Marjorie. I have not known a woman’s touch since that time, and it is all too much.”
“You poor soul. I am humble that you should feel you may cry on me.”
He sat up, observing that his tears had made my dress damp.
“I am so sorry, for I have made a fool of myself.”
“Dear Roger, you did not. You showed me that you cared, and that is so important. I am only sad that you have carried the burden for so long.”
He smiled and stood up, blowing his nose on a large white handkerchief. The moment had passed, and I knew that I had better go to bed, or otherwise I would end up going to bed with him, and it was too soon.
I stood and bade him goodnight, as it had been a very long day.
He took my hand and kissed it one last time, but his eyes said so much more. I knew that this man was mine if I so desired.
CHAPTER THREE
The Governess.
As Christmas approached, Katie and I developed a special relationship. She found that my lessons were unique and, as I had promised, they were fun too. For French, I had her label everything in the room with a small white paper label, with the French name thereon, and then test her by making a timed race to name as many object as possible. Then we added the verbs and adverbs, and put them all together.
For history, I taught her archery, so she learned all about the long bow, and the battles of Agincourt and Creçy. She took off her shoes and squelched her toes in the mud. That way she could feel what the actual archers felt, as they struggled to keep a good grip in the confusion of battle. I also taught her the rudiments of fencing. She was fast and supple and picked it up very quickly. One morning her father walked in as we practised, so he watched for a while, smiling all the time. Later, he asked me whether fencing was an appropriate sport for a girl.
“If it develops her hand and eye co-ordination, and gives her strong muscles, then can it be bad?” I retorted, to which he smiled and shook his head.
All was not plain-sailing, for we both had our bad days, as we were both strong willed females. I usually won, but paid the price, as her moods could often run for days. However, they became less frequent and less ferocious as time passed. Eventually, she realised that she couldn’t wear me down, so we became firm friends.
I told her different stories every night, sketching the characters as I went. I paid a silent tribute to the cartoon makers of the twentieth century. Roger would come and sit with us whenever he could, as Katie adored having him there.
Roger had a fair-sized stable, so I managed to obtain some riding breeches and boots for both Katie and myself. They were men’s and boy’s breeches, so I had to alter them for our different shapes. I designed and made loose culottes that fitted over the breeches, and looked more seemly, appearing almost as long skirts. We rode astride most of the time and she turned into a fair little horsewoman. Roger came out one day and rode with us. Of our riding style, he simply smiled and made no comment, but as his daughter jumped a five-barred gate without hesitation, he turned to me and doffed his hat.
I saved what little money I could from my salary, opening a bank account in the town. I had to have a letter of recommendation signed by Roger, as women were not permitted to have bank accounts without male sponsorship. I became known around the town as Katie’s governess, as I often took her walking through the market and we would run errands for the cook. I overheard through the servants chatter, that there was gossip afoot that I was a gold digger after marrying the good Major.
I told Roger of what I had heard, and judging by the reactions of the staff, no one either cared or believed it. He was concerned whether I was upset, so when I told him I cared not one jot, we laughed together. Both of us, I think, actually wishing the rumours were true, and not caring what the gossips said. I suspected that Maud was probably responsible, so felt rather sad for the silly woman.