It made no difference to me, and as his brother James had done it several years ago, the only person offended was Maud, who was not even a de Lambert since her marriage. It mattered not, and even she realised it was a silly thing about which to be offended.
The summer was a long hot one, so I found a secluded part of the garden where I would strip off and lie naked in the sun. My belly was large, but I enjoyed the freedom of being without clothes. Abigail would keep a look out. Occasionally Roger would join me, so we would indulge in some exciting, if not a little restrained, sexual activity. For some reason Roger found my pregnant body sexually stimulating and, if anything, we made love more often than before.
By the time Emily arrived, on the 8th September 1816, I was more than ready. With a labour of only three hours, I gave birth to a very healthy and beautiful baby girl. It was as if I had had all the cake in the world and been allowed to eat it all at once. I was so happy. As I held her to my breast, with little Edward frowning as he watched, I cried out of pure joy.
CHAPTER EIGHT.
Virginia.
The trip over to America was not as easy as stepping onto a 747 at Heathrow and stepping off seven hours later at JFK. The ship, a clipper called Lady Piscine, was quite large by the standard of the day, but I thought was too small and potentially dangerous. However, the Lambert family arrived en block at Southampton four days before sailing.
It took an age to load all the provisions and furniture that Roger had acquired. Crate after crate was loaded and I knew that he had spent all the money we had in preparing for this little jaunt. We had four horses and one carriage. I was surprised that they managed to dismantle the carriage to quite small components. I hoped that none would be lost on the journey.
Everyone said we were mad, but I was quietly supportive of Roger’s dream. I knew that part of him suffered during the Napoleonic wars, particularly in Spain. It still hurt him to live in the home where his first wife had died bringing William into the world. Despite the joy that we had found in each other, he wanted to break away from the old world and start afresh.
I was sad when we locked up the Manor and departed. Roger gave the keys to his brother-in-law, as we had arranged to rent the house to a doctor and his family who were moving into the area. It would bring us a little income, over and above any profit from the plantation. We reserved the right to sell it if we no longer needed it.
I had been very happy here, but I was also very excited, as I was eager to see my real home for the first time. I felt privileged to be able to see this slice of history, despite the silly clothes that I was forced to wear. I was very content to be a woman, particularly as it had surpassed all my expectations and dreams. There was nothing I didn’t like, even my monthly bleed was a symbol of my womanhood, and perhaps I was blessed with a light bleed with little or no discomfort. I would have preferred tampons, however, as the eighteenth century’s equivalent were messy and rather cumbersome, but knowing no difference, I actually yearned to be a woman in my own time.
I rarely thought about my real life as Edward Ryan, as I was leading such a full one as Jane. It was as if Edward had been a dream and this was my real life. On those occasions that I did think of such matters, I would wonder what my life would have been like had Edward not been burdened with the desire to be what I now so enjoyed being.
Had fighting those desires forced me to become the Marine, the tough guy, the warrior?
Would I have been a very different person if that conflict not been part of my life?
I had no answers, only more questions, so as I had no way of changing who or what I was, I just forgot about Edward and concentrated on enjoying being Jane.
We finally set sail with the tide on a pleasant sunny morning in October, and although there was a fair wind, the sea was relatively kind to us for the first couple of days.
However, we hit stronger winds and rougher seas on the third day. The crew rushed about lashing everything down tight. The Captain asked all passengers to remain below in their cabins, so Oliver went to calm the horses. I lost Katie, but then realised that she would be with Snowflake, and Oliver. She was nearly twelve now, and was beginning to blossom. She completely captivated Oliver, but she had been quite sensible about him. She liked him, but realised that they were both too young to start being to serious about each other, besides she was eager to meet her cousins and all the other young men of the New World.
Roger’s brother, James, had married a local girl, Charlotte Rose, and they had three children, the eldest, Henry, was a few months younger than Katie. Henry had a younger sister, Lucy and a brother Jonathon. I could tell that Roger was excited about seeing his brother again, as he would spend time telling me of their lives together whilst growing up. He left me with a feeling that most of what he told me was selective, and than many of the less happy times were conveniently forgotten.
With the sea so rough, we would spend the time in our cabin, and the bunk was the most comfortable place to be. Little Emily was in a rocker crib, so the motion of the ship tended not to affect her at all. In any case, she slept through even the worst storm, while Edward thought it was all such fun. William was a little sick, but Katie was too concerned about Snowflake to worry about anything else.
Abigail and the others found it slightly distressing, but on the fifth day, it became calmer and the sun came out again. We were aiming for Newport News, and Norfolk, on the Chesapeake. The children liked to watch the crew in the rigging, and William in particular was eager to follow their example, often being forcibly restrained from climbing into the rigging at times.
It was a great adventure. I found it mildly amusing that I came from an era of supersonic transportation and instantaneous global communications, where these tall ships still offered the same thrill as when they were at the cutting edge of the transportation system.
There were thirty other passengers. All were seeking their fortunes in the New World. Several like Roger, were disillusioned servicemen, who wanted a break from the past. Others were impoverished aristocrats, who had sold up in the hope that their fortunes could be replenished in the plantations in the Deep South.
One man, Joseph Banyard, was quite a wealthy, self-made man. He had made his money supplying provisions to the Navy and Wellington’s army. He was leaving Britain as he feared for his life. It seems that he had not been quite as honest with his dealings as he should have been. Much of the meat and supposedly fresh produce was rank and spoiled before it ever reached the poor soldiers and sailors. Some of the soldiery decided to wreak revenge upon the man, so he had sold up, bought a plot of land in Georgia, escaping while he could.
I found him an unpleasant oaf, and Roger took an instant dislike to the man. He had a daughter called Sophia who was of a similar age to Katie, and they became friends. The man’s poor wife was a nervous little creature called Phyllis, at whom we would often hear him shouting for some miniscule misdemeanour.
One evening I was standing watching the sunset when she came walking swiftly along, almost falling into me due to the pitch and roll of the ship. I held out my arms and managed to hold onto her.
“Oh, my. I thank you, Madam, I really cannot get used to the sea,” she said.
She had hardly set foot out of her cabin for the entire journey, and this was only the second time I had seen her. We had not even been introduced.
“It does make walking somewhat tricky,” I agreed, looking closely at her. I noticed a large bruise to her face, as if a fist had knocked onto the side of it.