Выбрать главу

Another way to go way out on the edge is to stop sleeping. Sleep deprivation can eventually lead to very altered states of consciousness and visionary experiences. The exact same considerations that come into play with not eating apply. While it may be true that when doing intensive practice the need for sleep may go down to perhaps 4-6 hours or sometimes less, try to get at least some sleep every night.

There are those that are such macho meditators that they will try to sit for very long periods of time, say 10 to 24 hours. While this might seem like a really brave thing to do, a real tribute to one’s determination, I don’t see the point. I have managed to make very rapid 115

A Clear Goal

progress when on intensive retreats where the longest sit I did was 4

hours and most were less than 1.5 hours. However, if one sits long enough and really pushes the investigation with heroic effort, one can get into states of consciousness that are quite volatile. It can be very difficult to ground back down and integrate what comes out of that sort of extreme practice. Again, out of consideration for your mind and body, as well as for those around you on retreat who may not want to deal with your potential inability to integrate and control the energy that can be generated from that sort of practice, consider moderation in sitting.

Lastly, there are some who will try to mix mind-altering substances and meditation. This can seem like an easy and fast path. In fact, there are countless traditions that use these as an integral part of their path.

However, there are numerous strong warnings against doing this at all or against doing this without the guidance of those that really know what they are doing and when not in the proper setting (e.g. far out in the desert with no one around except a friend to keep you safe and no big cliffs or weapons nearby). I have found that simply doing really consistent insight or concentration practices well can quickly produce altered states and strange experiences that have taken me to the very brink of what I could handle skillfully and sometimes beyond, many of which I will discuss in Part III, so I don’t see the need for using mind altering substances. Further, there are reasons to learn to see things from different points of view on our own power so that these things may become a part of who and what we are rather than some transient side effect brought on by tinkering with our neurochemistry.

In short, those on the path of heroic effort can easily get side tracked into ritualistic displays that seem like heroic effort, but they are not. Heroic effort on the insight path means heroic investigation of the Three Characteristics of the sensations that make up our experience, whatever they may be. Thus, my advice when on an insight meditation retreat is to really power the investigation all day long, whether you are sitting, walking, reclining, standing, eating, washing, etc. Get enough sleep. Eat well to keep up your health. Take care of your body, particularly your knees and back.

116

A Clear Goal

Should those with more experience than you in these matters

consistently tell you to back off on the effort just a bit, give it a try. I have occasionally done otherwise and regretted it. William Blake wrote that we do not know what is enough unless we know what is more than enough. Unfortunately, most insight meditators will not put forth enough effort to know either. However, should you find that you are simply cooking yourself through too much effort, learn from your mistakes and follow the middle path.

The last point about having a clear goal I make reluctantly, as I am afraid that I will justify the very thing I wish to speak out against. Here goes…

I heard someone speculating that Zen might have developed as being very austere and drab because of how colorful and unstable Japan was during its development, and likewise the Tibetan tradition was very colorful and complex because Tibet was so bleak. Burmese Buddhism might be so extremely technical, goal-oriented, efficient and effective because their country is such a chaotic mess. Perhaps in just this way, we have the most goal-oriented culture in the world and yet tend towards the least goal-oriented, least practical and least effective take on Buddhism I have found anywhere.

It is an unfortunate shadow side of our culture that many of us can barely tolerate one more goal to attain, one more hoop to jump through, one more exam to pass, one more certification or degree to obtain, one more SUV to buy. Perhaps we are crafting a Buddhism in which you don’t have to really ever accomplish anything so as to find a refuge from our extremely neurotic fixation on achievement. This might explain why we often fixate on teachings such as “Effortless effort”,

“There is nothing to attain,” and postponing enlightenment through the Bodhisattva Vow. Believe me, as someone who has two graduate degrees and actively involved in a field that requires constant reading, recertification, and training, I am often sick of the whole achievement trip as well.

On the other hand, I have found that goal-oriented practice

combined with good instruction and a few good conceptual frameworks is largely unstoppable barring extreme circumstances. Thus, if you are sick of goals to the point that you can’t make any room for those that 117

A Clear Goal

will soon follow, strip down your daily life down so as to make room for the drive to master the states and stages of the path. Take more vacations, back off on the career-ladder climbing a little, and make time to really bust out some serious meditative accomplishments. The Buddha was known for saying that there was nothing so valuable in this world as mastering the dharma. I couldn’t agree more.

118

17.HARNESSING THE ENERGY OF THE “DEFILEMENTS”

I am astounded at how many people are completely paralyzed in their practice because they feel bad about so many of the types of emotional sensations that arise. Unrealistic ideals of the emotional perfection that meditation might bring often create an inability to face one’s actual humanity or to continue practicing. The energy in

“undesirable” emotions can actually be used to fuel one’s practice, which is good, as this is much of what we have to work with.

This paralysis happens because people tend to feel that “bad”

emotions should not arise and are worthless and embarrassing. While there is a lot to be said for repressing the “defilements,” there is also a lot to be said for using their tremendous energy in ways that are skillful.

Basically, until we are very enlightened, some odd mixture of compassion and confusion motivates everything we do, as mentioned elsewhere, and so we have to learn to work with this. Further, these potentially useful emotional energies will continue to arise like the weather, even in very enlightened beings (contrary to popular belief), so we must learn how to deal with them and use them well.

Remember that these practices and teachings are not about

becoming some kind of emotionally devoid, non-existent entity, but about clearly understanding the truth of our humanity and life.

Becoming fluent in the true nature of all categories of sensations, including the sensations that make up all categories of emotions, is a particularly good idea and highly recommended. This might even be undertaken as a systematic practice by those who are dedicated to thorough understanding. Thus, those doing noting practice, which I highly recommend, can note which emotions they are feeling, such as fear, boredom, anger, confidence, restlessness, joy, jealousy, etc.

Further, if the powerful energy of the emotional life can be harnessed to energize our practice, this can be extremely helpful. Some level of skill and moderation is required here, a middle way between defilement restraint and energy transmutation. Either extreme can be harmful or helpful depending on how much wisdom the student has, how good their teachers are, and how well the student listens to their teachers.