The intensity of this event can vary, though it tends to be quite clear and memorable, particularly the first time one crosses it during that cycle.
It should also be noted that some people will have a big and obvious buildup to such experiences and for others they will suddenly just show up completely without warning, sometimes spontaneously and even without formal meditation training, as happened to me at around age 15. I have a number of friends who ran into these things without formal training and in daily life, others who ran into them when doing hallucinogens including mescaline and LSD, others during yoga practice, others while around powerful spiritual figures, including one who had it happen while hanging out with a Christian faith healer and a few who were hanging out with various gurus.
Whatever context the first A&P Event happens in, that context will tend to hold a special place in that person's heart from then on. For me it happened on my own, by my own meditation efforts and without a tradition, and so I have always associated my own practice with progress.
My friend who had it happen with the Christian faith healer became the most hardcore Christian you could find. Another friend who had it happen while on mescaline has since held a special place in her heart for shamanism. Those who had it happen with gurus tended to follow those gurus for some period of time, associating it with the gurus 179
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presence. Some others who had it happen in an apparently random context usually had no idea what it was or what it had done to them, but most have realized that something was different and nearly all remember it with an uncanny clarity as somehow standing out from ordinary experiences.
Once one has attained this event, it is fairly likely that one will be able to attain the first stage of awakening sooner or later if one can navigate the Dark Night skillfully (read: simply keep practicing). Thus, a good first goal in insight meditation is to cross the A&P Event at one’s earliest possible convenience, with caveats given later in the section on the Dark Night.
The A&P Event can happen in three basic ways corresponding to the Three Characteristics, just as can the entrance to insight stage 15.
Fruition, and the two are easily confused for this and other reasons.
There is great variation in the specifics of what we are seeing and feeling when we cross this profound and intense event, but certain aspects of these events will be common to all practitioners. This event tends to manifest in a way that can mirror the Three Doors (described in a few chapters) at about the middle of the out breath, leading to an unknowing event, followed by a few exceedingly clearer and more distinct moments imparting some deep understanding of the Three Characteristics before a second unknowing event at the end of the breath. It is not uncommon for the A&P event to occur during a particularly lucid dream or at least in the middle of the night.
Now, it should be noted here that it is unlikely in these extreme moments for the sense of the breath to be particularly clear, but this is how things happen regardless. In these moments, most, but not all, of their sensate universe strobes in and out of reality, arises and passes.
The subtle background and sense of an observer still seems to stay stable. In contrast to this, the entrance to stage 15. Fruition is through one of the Three Doors, involves the complete sensate universe (background, time, space and all), happens at the end of the out breath, and does not involve two closely related unknowing events. (The usefulness of this information may become apparent later on.) Those who have crossed the A&P Event have stood on the ragged edge of reality and the mind for just an instant, and they know that 180
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awakening is possible. They will have great faith, may want to tell everyone to practice, and are generally evangelical for a while. They will have an increased ability to understand the teachings due to their direct and non-conceptual experience of the Three Characteristics.
Philosophy that deals with the fundamental paradoxes of duality will be less problematic for them in some way, and they may find this fascinating for a time. Those with a strong philosophical bent will find that they can now philosophize rings around those who have not attained to this stage of insight.
They may also incorrectly think that they are enlightened, as what they have seen was completely spectacular and profound. In fact, this is strangely common for some period of time, and thus may stop
practicing when they have actually only really begun.
This is a common time for people to write inspired dharma books, poetry, spiritual songs, and that sort of thing. This is also the stage when people are more likely to join monasteries or go on great spiritual quests. It is also worth noting that this stage can look an awful lot like a manic episode as defined in the DSM-IV (the current diagnostic manual of psychiatry). The rapture and intensity of this stage can be basically off the scale, the absolute peak on the path of insight, but it doesn’t last.
Soon the meditator will learn what is meant by the phrase, “Better not to begin. Once begin, better to finish!” as they are now too far into this to ever really go back. Until they complete this progress of insight, they are “on the ride” and may begin to feel that the dharma is now doing them rather than the other way around, as they will progress inevitably and relatively quickly, usually within days, into stages 5-10, which as you will shortly see, are not always a party. The rapture and all the bells and whistles die down quickly, and the meditator may even be left raw as if hung over after a night of wild partying. The clarity fades somewhat, and the endings of objects becomes predominant as they progress to knowledge of...
5. DISSOLUTION, ENTRANCE TO THE DARK NIGHT
Thus begins what are called the “Knowledges of Suffering” or “The Dark Night of the Soul” (to use St. John of the Cross’ terminology). I consider this the entrance to the third vipassana jhana, though U
Pandita considers this the entrance to the fourth vipassana jhana. I'll give 181
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my arguments for this later in the chapter that deals more directly with the vipassana jhanas.
The Dark Night spans stages 5 through 10 in this map, namely Dissolution, Fear, Misery, Disgust, Desire for Deliverance, and Re-observation. Stages 5 through 9 tend to “come as a package,” with one leading fairly quickly and naturally to the others. Stage 10, Re-observation, tends to stand out as its own distinct and often formidable entity. It should be noted that some pass through the Dark Night quickly and some slowly. Some barely notice it, and for some it is a huge deal, regardless of the speed at which one moves through these stages. Some may get run over by it on one retreat, fall back, and then pass through it with no great difficulties some time later. Others may struggle for years to learn its lessons.
I am going to describe the Dark Night largely in extreme terms, but realize that this is just to give a heads up to what is possible, not what is necessary or guaranteed. As before, on retreat these things are likely to be more intense and clear, though those on retreat who are able to keep practicing are likely to make much faster progress as well. On the other hand, practice in “daily life” can be powerful and sometimes very speedy. These things are strangely unpredictable. Enough disclaimers!
Once someone has crossed the Arising and Passing Event, one will enter the Dark Night regardless of whether one wants to or not. It doesn’t matter if you practice from this point on; once you cross the A&P you are in the Dark Night to some degree (i.e. are a Dark Night Yogi) until you figure out how to get through it, and if you do get through it without getting to the first stage of enlightenment, you will have to go through it again and again until you do. I mean this in the most absolute terms.