If a gift, then a bitter one.
If a curse, then so too is life itself a curse. For there were lives within that frozen rain. Entire lives, sent down to strike the flesh of this world, to seep down, to thaw the soil with its fecundity.
But it has nothing to do with me.
None of this. All that I sought to fashion. destroyed. This dreamworld was itself a memory. Ghostworld of Tellann, remembrance of my own world, from long, long ago. Remembrances, taken from the Bonecaster who was there in my refashioning, taken from the Rhivi spirits, the First Clan, taken from K'rul, from Kruppe. Taken from the slumbering land itself — Burn's own flesh.
I myself. possessed nothing. I simply stole.
To fashion a world for my mother, a world where she could be young once more, where she could live out a normal life, growing old through the normal span of seasons.
All that I stole from her, I would give back.
Bitterness filled Silverfox. It had begun with that first barrow, outside Pale. This belief in the righteousness, the efficacy, of theft. Justified by the worthiest of ends.
But ownership bereft of propriety was a lie. All that she hoarded was in turn stripped of value. Memories, dreams, lives.
Gone to dust.
The hapless band of Rhivi spirits drew closer, cautiously, hesitating.
Yes. I understand. What demands will I make of you now? How many more empty promises will I voice? I had a people for you, a people who had long since lost their own gods, their own spirits to whom they had once avowed allegiance, were less than the dust they could make of themselves. A people.
For you.
Lost.
What a lesson for four bound souls — no matchmaker, we four.
She did not know what to tell them — these modest, timid spirits.
'Bonecaster, we greet you.'
Silverfox blinked her eyes clear. 'Elder Spirit. I have-'
'Have you seen?'
She saw then, in all their faces, a kind of wonder. And frowned in reply.
'Bonecaster,' the foremost Rhivi continued, 'we have found something. Not far from here — do you know of what we speak?'
She shook her head.
'There are thrones, Bonecaster. Two thrones. In a long hut of bones and hide.'
Thrones? 'What — why? Why should there be thrones in this realm? Who-?'
The elder shrugged, then offered her a soft smile. 'They await, Bonecaster. We can feel the truth of that. Soon. Soon, will come this warren's true masters.'
'True masters!' Anger flared in Silverfox. 'This realm — it was for you! Who dares seek to usurp-'
'No,' the spirit's quiet denial cut through her, swept the breath from her lungs. 'Not for us. Bonecaster, we are not powerful enough to command such a world as this. It has grown too vast, too powerful. Do not fear — we do not wish to leave, and we will endeavour to treat with the new masters. I believe they will permit us to remain. Perhaps indeed we will find ourselves pleased to serve them.'
'No!' No! Not how it was supposed to be!
'Bonecaster, there is no need for such strong feelings within you. The shaping continues. The fulfilment of your desires is still possible — perhaps not in the manner you originally intended …'
She no longer heard him. Despair was sundering her soul. As I stole. so it has been stolen from me. There is no injustice here, no crime. Accept the truth.
Nightchill's strength of will.
Tattersail's empathy.
Bellurdan's loyalty.
A Rhivi child's wonder.
None were enough. None could of themselves — or together — absolve what has been done, the choices made, the denials voiced.
Leave them. Leave them to this, to all of this, and all that is to come. Silverfox turned away. 'Find her, then. Go.'
'Will you not walk with us? Your gift to her-'
'Go.'
My gift to her. My gift to you. They are all as one. Grand failures, defeats born from the flaws within me. I will not stand witness to my own shame — I cannot. I have not the courage for that.
I'm sorry.
She walked away.
Brief flower. Seed to stalk to deadly blossom, all in the span of a single day. Bright-burning poison, destroying all who came too close.
An abomination.
The Rhivi spirits — a small band, men, women, children and elders, wearing hides and furs, their round faces burnished by sun and wind — watched Silverfox leave them. The elder who had spoken with her did not move until she slipped out of sight beneath the rim of a worn beach ridge, then he ran the back of four spread fingers across his eyes in a gesture of sad departing, and said, 'Build a fire. Prepare the ranag's shoulder blade. We have walked this land enough to see the map within.'
'Once more,' an old woman sighed.
The elder shrugged. 'The Bonecaster commanded that we find her mother.'
'She will simply flee us again. As she did the ay. Like a hare-'
'None the less. The Bonecaster has commanded. We shall lay the blade upon the flames. We shall see the map find its shape.'
'And why should it be true this time?'
The elder slowly lowered himself to press a hand down on the soft mosses. 'Why? Open your senses, doubting one. This land …' he smiled, 'now lives.'
Running.
Free!
Riding the soul of a god, within the muscles of a fierce, ancient beast. Riding a soul-
— suddenly singing with joy. Mosses and lichen beneath the paws, spray of old rain water to streak the leg-fur. Smell of rich, fertile life — a world-Running. Pain already a fading memory, vague recollections of a cage of bone, growing pressure, ever more shallow breaths.
Throwing head back, loosing a thunderous howl that trembled the sky.
Distant answers.
Which drew closer.
Shapes, grey, brown and black flashes of movement on the tundra, streaming over ridges, sweeping down into shallow valleys, broad moraines. Ay. Kin. The children of Baaljagg — of Fanderay — ghost memories that were the souls of the T'lan Ay. Baaljagg had not released them, had held to them, within herself, within her dreams — in an ageless world into which an Elder God had breathed eternal life.
Ay.
Their god had challenged the heavens with his bestial voice, and now they came to him.
And. another.
Togg slowed, head lifting — the ay all around him now, clan after clan, long-legged tundra wolves, swirling-
She was here. She had come.
She had found him.
Running. Coming nearer. Shoulder to shoulder with Baaljagg, with the ay who had carried her wounded, lost soul for so long. Baaljagg, coming to rejoin her kin — the kin of her dreams.
Emotions. Beyond measure-
Then, Fanderay was padding at his side.
Their beast-minds touched. A moment. Nothing else. Nothing more was needed.
Together, shoulders brushing-
Two ancient wolves. God and goddess.
He looked upon them, without knowing who he, himself, was; nor even where he might be, that he might so witness this reunion. Looked, and, for these two, knew nothing but gentle joy. Running.