You can’t really blame me, all things considered. Seriously, you try working as the human familiar for a magical cat with at least two dangerous enemies and tell me how well you keep up with the everyday things.
Ever since my Maine Coon Merlin revealed his powers to me, it’s been one attempt on my life after another.
When I first moved to the tiny Georgia town of Elderberry Heights, it was just me and my normal kitty cat living in the house my grandmother gifted me when she retired to the Florida Keys. But now Merlin’s pregnant wife Luna has joined us, and so has Luna’s former familiar, a somewhat disgruntled and super evil ghost named Virginia.
Yeah, it’s getting a little cramped, and the kittens haven’t even been born yet!
Another fun twist?
I’m descended from King Arthur, and my witchy cat has a famous lineage, too. He’s descended from the original Merlin.
No, not the human imposter everyone thinks they know. The real wizard, who just so happened to be a cat.
Because of our intertwined ancestry, Merlin and I have a nearly unbreakable bond. It’s also put a gigantic target on both of our backs.
Our original enemy, Dash, hasn’t turned up for a while, but we have no doubt she’s regrouping and will make a play for us again soon.
What she wants with us, I honestly have no idea. And I’m almost too afraid to find out.
Because honestly? The more I learn about the magical world, the less I seem to understand it. I can’t cast magic, but I can hold it inside of me. That’s my main role as Merlin’s familiar, in fact: to be a walking vessel for his magical overflow. If he were a normal witch, becoming tied to him wouldn’t have upset my life all that much.
However, since my cat is anything but normal, it’s one life-or-death encounter after the next.
It may seem like I’m complaining, but actually I’m happy to help. Someone has to take on the bad guys, after all.
So why not me?
Famous last words, I know…
“Eek! Why me?” I shrieked when Merlin dropped a dead bird at my feet just as I was trying to fix my morning coffee.
“It’s a gift,” the fluffy Maine Coon announced with pride. He didn’t even seem the least bit offended by my reaction to his grotesque gesture.
I cringed as I studied the limp avian form at my feet.“What could possibly make you think I’d want this?”
“Why wouldn’t you want this?” he countered. The tip of his tail flicked, revealing the beginnings of his irritation with me. “And how can you know you don’t like it until you try it?”
Proof that even though we could talk to each other, we didn’t necessarily stand one another.
“Um, thank you,” I said, bending down to examine the “gift” more closely. I’d have to find some way to dispose of it when he wasn’t looking. The problem was, Merlin always seemed to be looking.
“See, now that wasn’t so hard,” my cat said, a smug smile spreading across his whiskered face.
I was trying to work out what to say next—it took quite a bit longer when I hadn’t yet had my coffee for the day—when the bird flitted to life.
I screamed and fell backward, landing hard on my butt.
“Don’t worry, Gracie!” Merlin cried as he pounced into action. “I’ll save you from this feathered fiend!”
I watched in stunned silence as he leapt into the air, sunk his fangs into the bird, then landed back on the linoleum floor, all in one fluid motion.
“Coulda… sworn—he’s… dead,” he mumbled through a mouthful of bird. Then much to my horror, he crunched down hard.
Oh, that poor little red-breasted robin.
Merlin dropped the now thoroughly murdered bird at my feet again, then began to groom himself with long, sweeping licks across his side.
I didn’t know what to say. I certainly couldn’t force out another thank you, but I also couldn’t really punish my cat for doing exactly what cats do.
As I stared at the bird in bewilderment, it began to twitch back to life. First it was just the tips of one wing, but then one black beady eye shot open.
I crab-walked backward until I bumped into the fridge.
“Oh no, you don’t!” Merlin cried and pounced again before his victim could take flight.
He crunched down on it once more, this time breaking its neck so that it hung at an unnatural angle.
I breathed in and out deeply, praying that such a scene would never ever unfold in my kitchen again. Coffee or not, I was now fully awake—and also undoubtedly scarred for life.
“Is it really dead now?” I whispered after a brief pause, afraid that if I wasn’t quiet enough, my words would rouse the songbird from its sleep of death. Provided it was actually dead this time.
Merlin and I both stared down at the disfigured mound of feathers and watched as it once more twitched to life.
This was most assuredly not how I’d planned to start the morning!
2
“Why won’t it die?” I cried, scrabbling for purchase as I attempted to push myself into a standing position.
“Dark magic is afoot,” Merlin declared before pouncing on the dead-or-dying-or-undead bird. “Go to Luna. I’ll take care of this fiend!”
Well, he didn’t have to tell me twice. I ran out of the kitchen and straight through the front door without even taking the time to slip on a pair of shoes. The morning dew clung to my socks, but I didn’t care. I could easily put on fresh footwear, but I couldn’t stand to watch as Merlin had his way with the sharp-beaked monster in the kitchen.
I rounded the house in a flash and found Luna sprawled out on the grass and soaking up the sun. Ever since becoming pregnant, she’d taken to spending much of her day in the back garden. I’d even helped her plant some flowers and herbs to help with the homesickness she sometimes felt.
Seeing me, she gently rolled onto her feet, still the perfect picture of grace and elegance even toward the end of her pregnancy.
Yes, we were getting quite close to kitten time. The cats had given me one week to plan their wedding after they’d found out they were expecting. They reasoned that since holy matrimony was important to humans and not so much to cats, I should be the one to put in all the work. That had been a few weeks ago now. The happy newlyweds had spent a couple of nights away from home to celebrate their honeymoon, and then life had gotten back to normal—well, as normal as it could be when you had two talking cats and a ghost as your roommates.
I’d almost started to believe that the magical baddies of the world were done with us, but now we had a very messed-up robin to prove otherwise.
“Oh, dear,” Luna said after noting my worn expression. “I told Merlin you wouldn’t appreciate that gift, but he insisted. He said you hadn’t been yourself since Virginia moved in, and he wanted to do something to show you that you’re appreciated.”
“That’s actually kind of sweet,” I said with a half smile as I rubbed at my sore backside. “But, yeah, you were right, the bird was a terrible idea. Especially considering it won’t stay dead.”
Luna’s ears shot back, and her blue eyes grew wide. “What do you mean it won’t stay dead?” she asked in a low whisper.
“Exactly that. That thing would seem dead, but then pop back up a few moments later. I’m pretty sure I watched Merlin break its neck, but even that didn’t stop it.” I shuddered at the memory—that one would, no doubt, reappear in my nightmares many times over. “Also I think maybe I’m avegetarian now.”
Luna hissed.“Don’t even joke about such terrible things.”
“Which of those things do you think was a joke?” I sputtered in disbelief.
Luna studied me for a moment.“Oh my, you are serious. Aren’t you?”
“Dead serious,” I said through gritted series. “Or, I guess, undead serious.”
“Yes, that seems to be the situation we have on our hands now,” Luna agreed with a solemn nod.