Vikingo reaches the sidewalk across the street and pauses at a lamppost where there’s a poster: Mistreatment Meeting. As they walk by, the men and women look at him intently. They examine his clothing with curiosity, as if they can’t believe a man can wear so many things. Then they see his stained sleeves, his hands, and they quickly move away from him. He raises his face and inhales the city air: there’s a strong scent of excrement and blood. A step. Another. Then one more. He walks. He pushes. Just like he pushed last night. He was Fernando. Yes. Fernando what? I’m nobody. I didn’t see anything, chief, I swear. This way.
Clerks, housewives, and students chew and drink with determination, their faces reflecting pleasure and haste. They talk incessantly among themselves, joke around, laugh. Their sounds reverberate in Vikingo’s eardrums. Some finish eating and light cigarettes, blowing smoke toward the sky, where the wisps join all the emanations from the cars. They really do have a life, says Vikingo to himself, without daring to look at them too much. They have names. Fernando or Juan or Lupe. They are somebody. Not me. I don’t even have a name. The blurred memory of the previous night provokes an intense desire in him to feel tobacco smoke scraping his throat, filling his lungs. With his head down, he approaches a guy lighting a cigarette but before he can say a word, the man backs away. So Vikingo drops his head even lower and continues along. He digs inside the brown paper bag. He wants to find the smallest butt, yet comes up with one of the longest. It’s stained, sticky, just like his hands. He brings it to his nose and his mouth floods with copper-flavored saliva. A step. Another. Then one more. I don’t have matches.
He approaches one of the vendors, who has several cuts of meat, clusters of guts, and long sausages frying in a pot. The people eating inside the stall grow quiet when they see him. Vikingo nods, he’s about to walk past when he notices an empty seat at the far end of the counter. The surface is jammed with plates of leftovers, green and red sauces, minced onion, salads, and salt shakers. Sausages hang from above, cut like flowers, as if they’ve been manipulated into serving as décor for the place. A guy in a dirty white apron and a cap splattered with blood strikes a block of wood with a knife; it’s a rhythmic beat, almost musical. Greasy, sharp scents grow more intense, but Vikingo doesn’t smell any of it, only the tobacco that still floods his nasal cavities. He parks his cart next to a garbage can and approaches the man with the apron, who smiles.
“What’s up, Vikingo? You eat already? You want a taco?” “Fernando was running…” the bum says while shaking his head. He holds up the hand with the cigarette. “I need a light.”
“Of course, my brother. Whatever you need. Hold on a sec.”
The man in the apron puts two tacos in front of Vikingo as the others watch uneasily. He lifts a box of matches from his work station, pulls one out, and lights it. Vikingo doesn’t even look at the tacos. He puts the cigarette butt between his lips and leans toward the flame. He inhales. Coughs.
“Hey, what’s on your hands, dude?”
Vikingo glances at the taco vendor’s blood-stained apron. The hand holding the butt trembles. His knees too. He’s in a hurry to get away but talks instead.
“He ran into me and I pushed him away. I don’t know anything. I just walk. A step. Another. I’m nobody.”
“Who ran into you?”
“He was falling…”
“Who?”
“I didn’t see anything, chief. I don’t understand. Nothing. I didn’t hear anything either. I don’t even have a name, although I used to. Thanks for the light. A step. Then another.”
“Damn, Vikingo, you’re getting worse by the day. Órale, look at yourself.”
Now his heart beats faster. He breathes hard, without savoring the smoke, while gastric juices groan in his belly. I’m thirsty and I didn’t see anything. Thirst. He stares at the bottle, where there’s still a little something to drink, but he wants to leave it for later, because he senses he’s going to need it more then. He tries to count each of his steps, each meter traversed, because the image of the running man, of Fernando, has stuck in his memory and he can’t erase it. The street people and the vendors multiply on the sidewalk and he must walk slower to avoid hitting anybody with his cart. Just ahead, there’s a busy metro station. He doesn’t like crowds. He prefers solitude. But the streets here are only deserted at night. Vikingo looks at the sky: the sun hasn’t finished its route. There’s still a lot of time before dusk.
He came toward me. I didn’t see anything, chief. I didn’t have time to step aside. No. All I could do was move my cart. Fernando, yes. But I didn’t see him. And I didn’t hear him either. No. Nothing. I just walk and walk. He was falling. Bent. Holding his belly. He ran right into me and I had to push him off so I wouldn’t fall. That’s why my hands are dirty. There were others behind him.
When the cigarette ember almost reaches the filter, he puts his hand in the paper bag again and plucks another butt. He lights it with the dying end of the last cigarette and desperately sucks in the smoke.
There are fewer people on this block and the passersby don’t look at him as much. A shoeshine boy greets him but he doesn’t notice. He watches the familiar faces in the stores, behind the counters. He knows the neighborhood, the people know him too, and that calms him down. He crosses a street, turns the corner. There are fewer people each time. He finally stops in front of the church. That’s where the chief is, the Big Chief, he thinks, as he stares at the cross in the bell tower and the steps that lead inside. He feels the urge to go in the temple and sit down in one of the pews alongside the old women praying. Perhaps he can find peace there. Yes, sitting in a pew in silence. He used to do it back in the day. Back when he would spend the nights around Parque Delta with others like himself. And before that. When he had a name and lived in a house with a woman and a boy.
But as soon as they form, the memories escape from his brain. He extracts yet another butt and lights it with the previous one. Yes. Fernando ran into me. I didn’t see him. I didn’t see the others either. No, chief, I swear it. I didn’t see the plates. Or the uniforms. I didn’t see anything. I didn’t hear anything. I’m nobody. Not even the shots in the belly. Goodbye, Big Chief. I’ll visit some other day, when it’s calmer.
He takes another glance at the bell tower, at the church doors, and pushes the cart. A step. Another. Then one more.
A black cloud passing in front of the sun makes him think dusk has arrived. Vikingo has a moment of joy and sighs. He reaches for the bottle and caresses it tenderly. He doesn’t open it; he’ll wait to get to the government parking lot later tonight. He lifts the bottle to get a good look at it. Street liquor. How did it end up in his hands? He scratches his head and his nails run into a clump of flat and sticky hair. He smells his fingers: dirt and blood. The bottle was a gift, he remembers now. A gift from Fernando. Poor Fernando. He ran into me and fell. He was already falling. Yes. It’s his blood. Poor man.
When the clouds let the sun’s rays through, a mordant restlessness seizes Vikingo. He picks up his step. He walks. Pushes. I have to get to the lot entrance. I didn’t see anything. The street liquor. No. The dead guy didn’t give it to me, it was the others. The guys behind him, the ones who were after him. I’m nobody. I don’t know anything. The street ends at another street. Vikingo looks for a sign at the corner until he sees it: University. The public square is there to the left. The entrance is a little further. But it’s still daytime. He has to keep walking. Just like when he lived around Parque Delta. Always walking. Why? Because otherwise the guys in blue wake you up, the tecolotes, they called them. And why would they wake you up? Because that’s the way it is. Because they’re the law. And if they take you in, they beat you to a pulp just to amuse themselves. Better to keep walking. A step. Another. Then one more.