There was no one as yet in the drawing room, but my heart sank at the ordeal in front of me. What if I was not as beautiful as I thought?
I heard a light quick step outside and Doris Hind, Helen's cousin, now a lovely girl of fifteen, ran into the room. She wore a smart little short frock of pale pink mousseline de soie with black silk stockings encased in patent leather slippers. A bright fire was burning in the grate; I turned to it, to hide my gag as long as I could.
"Who are you, you pretty thing?" she asked.
I could not answer.
"What's the matter?" she demanded impatiently.
Finally, she turned me around and saw the gag over my mouth. She stared at me astonished for a moment. Then the truth broke in upon her and she clapped her hands with pleasure.
"You must be Denise. Helen has gagged you. How delicious! You are a perfect girl now, Denise."
I blushed to the roots of my hair, and unconsciously I placed one foot upon the fender to warm it, lifting my skirt an inch or two. Doris uttered a rapturous cry.
"What adorable feet! And, oh Denise, what divine little satin slippers. Let me see!" I blushed again, but this time it was with pleasure.
"What lovely buckles and what fairylike bows! And those dear little pearl-embroidered toes! And what jolly high heels. Show me your ankles!"
I raised the skirt higher, and the delicate, cleanly rounded ankle in its shimmering cobweb of silk and lace came into view. Doris went into ecstasy. "I should like to perch you on still higher heels dear, and keep you in a glass case to show to my friends. That's really all that you are fit for now. Walk across the room you exquisite thing, and let me see how daintily you can do it in your beautiful high-heeled shoes." I was delighted with her admiration, but I shook my head at her request.
At once she stamped her foot. "Quick, or I'll punish you," she cried. "Pick up your train and let me see those buckles flashing on your dainty butterfly bows this instant."
I submitted. I was beginning to learn that one of the inevitable consequences of allowing myself to be dressed as a girl was that everyone, even young girls like Doris, who knew the secret, treated me as a little child in spite of my long decollete gown and fine jewels. I walked daintily across the room and back. Doris applauded me laughing.
"I don't know a girl, Denise, who wouldn't envy your figure and your feet and ankles. Oh, but you must be kept in high-heeled shoes all your life! It would be ridiculous now that Helen has got you so smart and pretty to let you go back into stupid trousers. Being a boy would be so tedious for you now."
At that moment Helen and Miss. Priscilla came into the room, and the guests began to arrive. There was Mrs. Dawson the clergyman's wife, Lady Hartley and her pretty daughter; Mr. and Mrs. Charles Rivers… about twenty people arrived, mostly young people and all of them neighbors whom I had known as a boy. I was introduced to them as Denise Beryl, a cousin. Helen explained how I came to be punished with a gag. I had to stand and listen, but my cheeks burned with shame.
"Denise is unfortunately very vain," Helen told her delighted guests. "I had to punish her because she kept showing off her feet in a very unladylike way."
"She is very lucky to have gotten off so easily," said Lady Hartley with severity, looking down at my feet through her glasses. "I should not only have gagged her, I should have taken her pretty slippers away from her altogether." Then, to my amazement and horror, "Mr. Guy Repton" was announced and my old schoolfellow came into the room.
He had been expelled in disgrace because of me. How did Helen come to know him? Her first words explained.
"This is my new steward and agent," she said as she introduced him. I was horrified. He was the new manager of my estates. He had turned out to be a handsome young man of twenty-two with a fair moustache. Helen had given him a fine position and a good income. She must have sought him out on purpose, because she believed that I had caused his disgrace. She wished to surround me with my enemies, I felt sure. Guy Repton would be grateful to her and presumably he hated me. Helen did not even pretend to conceal the reason for her choice of him. She darted a triumphant look at me. I felt more and more helpless in her hands.
Guy entered the room and dazzled the ladies instantly. He had become the gallant in the past two years. Needless to add, my own heart fluttered wildly as he entered the room, for I associated some of my most mysterious feelings with him and the experience we shared at school. I still had fond feelings for him, even if he was the cause of my expulsion and disgrace from the academy. I suddenly felt as though I should thank him for what had happened, because it seemed as if it were an example of divine intervention. But I realized that Guy did not recognize me; mentioning anything concerning our tryst at school would have ruined my feminine effect.
It seemed as though we had both ended up in the proper positions, though I could not help but smile ironically as he bent his dark, curly head to kiss my gloved hand.
"Guy," said Helen slyly, "I would like to present to you my delightful cousin, Denise. Denise, meet Mr. Repton." She laughed a little, and the sound was cruel and delicious to my ears. I blushed.
"She is a most delicate creature," said Guy to Helen, as he continued to hold my hand in his. He turned and met my gaze. He stared into my eyes for a prolonged moment.
"Helen, are you certain that I have never made the charming acquaintance of your cousin before? She looks so familiar to me," he said in all innocence.
"Oh no, Guy. This is her first visit to Beaumanoir," said Helen, laughing gaily.
"But why the gag? Has Miss. Denise misbehaved?" asked Guy, his eyes taking in my person with uninhibited hunger.
"Miss. Denise has been a naughty, naughty girl. Her punishment for her impudence is to endure this party wearing that gag so that she will learn her proper place in this house."
"Well I must admit," said Guy, "the gag does become her in a bizarre fashion. It is as though she were meant for it."
"How right you are," cried Helen with delight.
I was miserable, for I wanted to join in the festive repartee of the evening. I wanted to display my feminine charms for all the guests to delight in.
"Come along, Guy, you will have all evening to admire my guests," Helen said, guiding him to another cluster of party guests.
I was grateful for the superb construction of my little leather sheath hiding beneath all my lacy underthings. Seeing Guy Repton had kindled old feelings deep within my soul. I could tell that he fancied me. I could tell that he admired me dressed as a woman much more than if I were the boy he once knew. This recognition of admiration made the blood rush to my face and to my cock simultaneously, and I was glad that my leather pouch kept my feelings from showing.
We were waiting for dinner to be announced, when Lady Hartley, a handsome matron of forty-five, came to me and took me by the arm. She led me into a little drawing room situated off of the big one. She pointed to a sofa.
"Lie down there on your face, young lady," and as I hesitated, she pinched my buttock painfully. "At once," she said.
Reluctantly I stretched myself out on the sofa. Oh, what did she mean to do with me? I felt the familiar stirrings of pleasure that accompanied the demands made upon me by strong women.
"I saw something written on the sole of your slipper as you walked across the room," she said. "A punishment, of course." She felt for my foot under my satin gown. Once she located my foot, she lifted it up and read Helen's note. She looked puzzled. "I wonder what it means," she said. "You may get up."
We went back into the big room where all the guests had assembled. Violet, Doris's elder sister had just come down, and my heart fluttered erratically. Violet looked quite stunning.