For the first week, Gabe slept eighteen hours of every twenty-four. At mealtimes he ate well but in silence, exchanging occasional grateful smiles with Robbie and Paolo. He barely looked at Lexi.
A doctor was called. He gave Gabe a clean bill of health. Not wanting to risk any more press leaks, Robbie contacted his godfather in New York, Barney Hunt, and asked him to fly out and examine Gabe.
“I’d say he’s in good shape mentally,” said Barney, “considering the magnitude of the trauma he’s just been through. He’s allowing himself to recover.”
“But he barely speaks,” Robbie protested. “He won’t say where he’s been all this time. He hasn’t mentioned Tara or his children once. If I get one ‘pass the pepper, please,’ that’s a good day.”
“He’ll talk when he’s ready. How about Lexi? How’s she doing?”
It seemed like an odd non sequitur. “Lexi? She’s okay, I guess. Mad as a box of frogs, obsessing about Kruger-Brent as always, but what’s new. She came out here to relax, which I took as a good sign.”
“And is she? Relaxing?”
“Gabe showing up kind of threw her. I don’t know. She’s been out of the house a lot. Riding. Do you think I should be worried?”
“No, no.” Barney Hunt smiled reassuringly. “I’m fond of your sister, that’s all. I care about you both. As does your father.”
Robbie stiffened. It had been years since he’d seen Peter. Their estrangement now was as wide and deep as it had ever been.
“I’ve got enough on my plate right now with Gabe and Lexi,” he said defensively.
“I understand,” said Barney. “Just remember, your father is not going to live forever. Gabe has years to work through what he’s feeling. So does Lexi. But you and Peter…”
“Thanks, Barney. I’m okay. We’re okay.”
The conversation was closed.
Lexi lay in bed, unable to sleep. In two days’ time, she would head back to New York. Back to reality. The vacation with Robbie was supposed to have cleared her head. But she felt more confused than ever.
Gabe was alive. That was a good thing. Obviously. So why did his presence in the house make her feel so…so what? There was no word for it. Lexi and Gabe moved past each other like ghost ships on a hopeless sea. Sometimes Lexi felt him watching her. Almost as if he were waiting for her to say something. But say what?
Sorry I don’t know how to talk to you? Sorry your wife and kids got their throats cut? I’m glad you’re alive, but I wish you’d get the hell out of my brother’s house?
At other times, she sensed hostility in his gaze. He felt something for me on that safari years ago, and we both know it. Does he blame me for that? Do I make him feel guilty?
Lexi didn’t understand Gabe’s passivity. If she were in his shoes, she would be filled with bloodlust. She would think of nothing but wreaking terrible, righteous revenge on those who had slain her family. But Gabe showed no anger. No hatred. Lexi couldn’t understand it.
She looked at her bedside clock. Four A.M. Her mind was racing. There was no hope of sleep. Hauling herself wearily out of bed, she pulled a bathrobe over the old pair of Robbie’s pajamas she was wearing and tiptoed downstairs. Maybe a cup of warm milk would help.
“What are you doing here?”
Lexi jumped a mile.
“Jesus, Gabe. You scared me.”
Gabe was lurking in the half shadow, his face eerily illuminated by the first pale rays of dawn sunlight.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Welcome to my world. You know, when Collette was born, we got no sleep for a year. Tara and I would fantasize about how great it would be to wake up late on Sunday mornings. Now I can wake up as late as I like. But I never make it past dawn. Never.”
“I’m sorry.”
God, it was so inadequate. What a small, useless little word. Like firing a water pistol into a volcano.
“I was going to do it, you know. I was going to kill myself.”
“Gabe, really. You don’t have to tell me this.”
“But then I thought, Why should I be allowed to rest in peace, after what I did? I should have to wake up every day, every day, and see their faces. Hear their screams.”
Gabe started to cry. Lexi stood rooted to the spot, unsure what to do. Then instinct took over. She wrapped her arms around him.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“It was!” he sobbed. “It was my fault. I should have been there. If I hadn’t been late. If I hadn’t stopped to change that stupid tire! Oh God, Lexi. I loved them so much!”
He clutched at her like a drowning man clinging to a buoy. Then suddenly he was kissing her, they were kissing each other. Lexi could taste the hot salt of his tears in her mouth, his face pressed against her cheek, her neck, her breasts. There was a terrible desperation to the way he ripped her clothes off, pulling her down onto the cold flagstone floor. As if by making love to her he could somehow bring himself back to life.
He entered her with an anguished cry, like an animal in its death throes. Lexi gripped him tightly to her. Closing her eyes, she could feel the pain flowing from his body to hers. It’s all right, Gabe. It’s all right, my love.
In the beginning, Max used to make love to her the same way. Desperately. As if Lexi could save him. But that was another lifetime. Gabe was not Max. Gabe was good and decent and kind. Gabe was suffering because he had loved. Max suffered because he could not love. Because he was broken.
Like me.
Maybe Gabe and I can save each other?
When Robbie came downstairs later that morning, he found his friend and his sister fast asleep on the couch, entwined in each other’s arms. He smiled.
Paolo put on some coffee. “I wouldn’t look so happy if I were you.” He nodded at the sleeping lovers. “That’s trouble.”
“Why? You said yourself that Gabe should find somebody. That he needs love to live again.”
“Yes, but Lexi?”
Robbie bridled. “Why not Lexi? God knows she could use someone normal in her life. Someone to break her of this obsession with Kruger-Brent.”
“I love your sister, Robbie. You know that. But lovers can’t ‘fix’ each other.”
Robbie thought: You’re wrong. What about us? We fixed each other.
“Give it a chance. She loves him, you know. I’m convinced of it. When he went missing, she pined like a lost puppy. Lexi acts tough on the outside, but she feels things deeply.”
Paolo said nothing.
He hoped he was wrong, for all their sakes.
TWENTY-FIVE
GABE, LEXI AND ROBBIE WERE IN LEXI’S NEW YORK APARTMENT, playing cards.
Gabe was explaining the rules. “The game’s called hearts. The aim is to dump as many hearts as you can on your opponent, without winning any yourself. Every heart counts against you, so the ten of hearts is minus ten points, the ace is minus twenty-five and so on. The most dangerous card in the pack is the queen of spades-the black Mariah. If you win her, that’s minus fifty points. With me so far?”
Robbie said: “I think so. Losing is good, winning is bad, right?”
“Sounds like a stupid game to me,” grumbled Lexi.
She was not in a good mood. Normally she loved having Robbie stay over. They saw him too rarely. He was a good, calming influence on Lexi and Gabe’s fiery relationship; a reminder that their love ran deeper than the silly arguments and competitiveness of daily life. But today, not even Robbie could lift her spirits.
Lexi had spent the morning watching helplessly as Kruger-Brent’s share price rallied, up almost twenty points. For years she’d been quietly pursuing her Jenga strategy: buying up strategic parts of the Kruger-Brent empire piece by piece, through anonymous shell companies. The idea was that if she could only remove the right piece at the right time, the whole edifice would collapse in on itself. Max would be fired. She, Lexi, would return in a blaze of glory to lead the company back to greatness.