“Oh?” she said with a question mark, and my heart almost fell, “I understood that your… boyfriend… objected to your former acquaintances.”
“That's over… oh, it's all over Cindy,” I told her in rapid-fire speech, so afraid that all hopes were lost, “He's in Hong Kong or somewhere. He's a… a beast… a maniac. He's just about ruined my whole life, Cindy. I don't know what to do. I need…
“Darling,” she interrupted me, her beautifully soft voice even lower now.
“Yes?”
“I have company at this moment,” she informed me quietly, but with a new intimacy. “Why don't you drive on down? He'll be gone by the time you get here. I'd love to see you again, Denise… I've wanted to see you again… darling.”
She hung up quickly after that. It didn't matter. I could tell by her voice that I was welcome and that my siege of loneliness was on the way to being in the past tense.
Chapter Five
It was 4:30 when I arrived at Cindy's apartment. I don't recall whether it was a feeling of affectionate nostalgia or passion that ran through me when I first saw her. She was such a tall beautiful blonde with a figure that was absolutely unbelievably gorgeous. She stood there in the door smiling at me a moment, dressed in tight stretch slacks and a low neck blouse.
“Hi, darling,” she said, broadening her smile and looking me over so nicely that I got goose-pimples, “Come in and unload your problems. I knew you'd need me some day. Remember what I told you.”
I honestly had not remembered all that she had told me that night we had spent together. I was quite high and quite sleepy, and I only remembered that she had made love to me and told me how much she liked me. But she had also stressed that she did not believe in involved love affairs. I had remembered that part, and I suppose it had contributed to my reluctance to call her those past two weeks.
“I know that I need a friend and… I'm desperate for sex, Cindy,” I became resignedly frank as I sat down uneasily on the sofa, “If you… well, if you want me to be a customer, I can… pay…”
“You silly darling,” Cindy laughed gaily in that soft and melodious voice I loved. “I could eat you all afternoon and love it. Fact is-why don't we take care of that little detail first, and then you'll feel more relaxed and we can have a drink?”
“Oh, Cindy-oh, Cindy, you're so wonderful,” I cried, breaking into tears.
She sat beside me a moment and we embraced, very tightly and very longingly. There was as much normal affection and feminine longing to it as there was sex. At least for a few moments Cindy rubbed her cheek against mine, reaching up to brush aside her long blonde hair. My arms were around her waist, while one of her arms encircled me at my midriff and the other one was over my shoulder.
I felt her warmth so strongly through our clothes, the delicate scent of her body as if her very flesh were a kind of smoldering and heady incense with an aphrodisiac quality. My breathing became faster when she bared my breasts and cupped one of them in her hand.
“Denise, darling… you've got the craziest breasts,” she said with a warm smile, enjoying the feel of me in her hand, “Oh, hell, I've missed you, honey. I don't know who needs who most… mm-mmmm.”
Suddenly her whole mouth was over my nipple and sucking on it with a pleasant kind of violence. She made loud noises and deep groans. She would lose suction and there would be loud liquid pops and little frustrated gasps as she sought to retrieve it and pull it deep into her mouth again. I rolled my head back and forth in delirious ecstasy and spread my legs so that I could lead her fingers to my crotch.
“Oh, how I've missed you, Denise,” Cindy told me with a fiery hot intenseness, giving vent to the uninhibited outspokenness I had remembered before, “Oh, I've wanted you again a hundred times, darling. Crazy… you know me, I let go with everything when I have something I like-but I don't get involved. Can you remember that, sweetheart? Be my friend. Be my special one. Just don't fall in love, okay?”
“Okay, Cindy,” I readily agreed with a smile, and we walked hand in hand into the bedroom and undressed.
I lay down on my back and Cindy came up beside me, both of us naked. Her breasts were bigger than mine, and I reached down to toy with them as she began to lick my tummy and go down. The feel of her tongue exploring my pubic area was wonderful, a beautiful prelude to the touch of her lips on my inner thighs, the soft kisses that advanced slowly until her whole mouth was on my crotch.
“Oh, Cindy… don't stop… don't ever, ever stop!” I shouted with pure unadulterated joy when her tongue began playing over my clitoris.
My orgasms began almost at once. I was arching my hips to press my vulva as tight as possible against her lips. In a moment, she stopped me from moving around so much and placed her mouth full on me again, then began to suck and suck and suck. It was a feeling I had not experienced before, not a direct stimulation but a wonderful tease and titillation.
The rest of Cindy's body was right alongside me, slightly raised as she rested on her knees. I enjoyed smoothing my hands over her nice flesh, around the orbs of her buttocks, her long thighs and right up to her clipped nest of pubic hair. I smiled when I remembered that she told me one time she kept them trimmed because some of her clients were always complaining that they got caught in their teeth otherwise.
“Cindy… oh, darling, you have no idea what you're doing for me…,” I half moaned in ecstasy.
I just had the most wonderful, the most languorous feeling, that I felt I had to do something in return. I wanted to do something in return. I had never been fond of going down on a girl, although I had done it at parties. But this wasn't just any girl out for kicks. This was Cindy, who was doing so very much for me.
Working very easily, and in just a wonderfully relaxed mood of continued stimulation, I pulled Cindy's left leg over my head and then put my arms around her buttocks, bringing her crotch down to my face. I had the feeling that I would enjoy this. It was not a hot, dirty, violently passionate feeling, but something akin to affection or maybe even love. I know that I felt a great desire to reciprocate.
“No… no, honey,” she objected when my tongue tried to enter her, “You… you don't understand how I feel about you.”
“But why?” I asked her, warming so wonderfully to her embrace as she came back up to lay beside me, feeling my own warmth from her lips that kissed me hard. “I want to make you feel happy too.
“Denise, this may sound funny as hell to you,” Cindy said, holding my face in her hands and looking at me in the tenderest and most loving way, “I have a funny thing about you… about any woman I've ever liked. I don't need reciprocation… not that way. Denise, I've been a dyke before. I put in a whole year in the one hundred percent gay crowd. I went through the whole bit-the nervous breakdown, the psychiatrist, all that jazz. I'm cured. I don't need women anymore. Only there's a little bit left over you never can get rid of. If you need me, honey, I can need you. Understand?”
“No… I don't think so,” I answered her honestly, “What… or how, do you get your pleasure if you just go down on me?”
“Oh, hell, I can't explain it, Denise,” she threw up a hand in a gesture of resignation, then took two cigarettes from a pack on the night table and lit them. “I guess… I know how much you need it, because I've been down that road before. I know what loneliness is. I know what it means to be had by people and have your whole life torn apart because men have used you. We're pretty much alike in a lot of ways. The only difference is I've found a way to beat it and you haven't.”
I tried to think this over, parting my lips briefly for her to insert the lighted cigarette. Was she implying that I was really a Lesbian? I was afraid to delve into the subject further, but I was really interested in knowing what she had found out about herself with this psychoanalysis.