«Well, yes,» Imaya agreed. «Empathy is usually depicted as a great gift to the person who has it. But there are plenty of reports of empaths whose powers are so strong or volatile that they are crippled by them instead. Considering some of the horror stories I’ve read about, your case is relatively mild. It could have been worse.»
‘It could have been worse’ — that could easily serve as a summary of his entire life so far. Oh well — there had to be a way to rein in his errant empathic abilities somehow, and he had plenty of time to find it. The aranea probably knew how, though he suspected he wouldn’t like what they would ask in return.
«Zorian?» Imaya asked after a few moment of silence. «I can see this is a somewhat sensitive topic for you, but can I ask you a question? Well, two questions really.»
«Sure,» agreed Zorian. She did end up helping him, even if he didn’t imagine her help to play out the way it did, so the least he could do was satisfy her curiosity.
«I get the feeling that you didn’t like the idea of being an empath, even before you knew what you do now,» she said. «Why is that? Maybe I am projecting somewhat, but I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t want to possess an inborn magical ability. I hope you don’t think you’re a freak just because—»
«No, no, it’s nothing like that,» Zorian quickly assured. «I know a lot of civilian-born students react badly to anything that may make them… abnormal… but I’m not like that. No, the real reason I didn’t like the idea of being an empath is… far more stupid than that. Actually, I’m kind of embarrassed to even admit it, so can we just move on?»
«No,» Imaya said, a smirk on her face. «This I definitely got to hear.»
Zorian rolled his eyes. Served him right for admitting it was embarrassing. Oh well, it’s not like she’d remember this conversation once the loop reset.
«All right, but you can’t tell this to anyone, okay?»
Imaya mimicked sealing her mouth shut.
«It’s because empathy is usually portrayed as a feminine ability, one reserved for girls and girly men,» admitted Zorian.
«Ahhh,» nodded Imaya. «Of course a boy would be bothered by something like that…»
«I’m not sexist or anything,» Zorian hastily added. «But I already receive a lot of comments about my supposed lack of masculinity, and they’re annoying enough as it is. I really don’t want to see how bad they would get if they had this sort of ‘proof’.»
His family was the worst offender in that regard, especially his father, but he would keep that little tidbit to himself.
«I won’t tell anyone,» Imaya said. «And if it makes you feel any better, there is no evidence that empathy manifests itself more often in women than it does in men.»
«I figured,» Zorian said. «Very few magical abilities are gender specific, unless they’re artificially designed to be that way.»
«And I also think those people have no idea what they’re talking about,» Imaya said with a supposedly innocent smile that had a hint of mischievousness behind it. «I think you’re a very handsome young man who will someday make some girl very happy indeed.»
«T-thanks. What was the other question you wanted to ask, again?» said Zorian, trying to change the subject to something less embarrassing. She had her fun, no need to torture him further.
«I assume you will try to develop your ability further?» Imaya asked. Zorian nodded. «In that case, I’d like you to keep me informed about your progress. I find stuff like this incredibly interesting.»
Zorian agreed, though it was essentially an empty promise. She would remember none of this after the next restart. Their conversation done, Imaya returned to her household chores and Zorian went back to his room to plan his visit to the aranea. He really didn’t want to find out what the matriarch would do to him if he didn’t show up soon.
«Well, this is it,» Zorian said out loud, standing in front of the entrance to the sewers. The matriarch didn’t tell him where exactly in the sewers she hoped to meet with him, but he knew where he had met the spiders the last time he had been down there, so he intended to start from there. «The point of no return. I once again offer you the chance to turn back. You don’t have to risk your life with me, Kael.»
He gave a pointed look to the morlock following after him, trying to use his newly found (newly recognized?) empathic abilities to gauge the other boy’s mood. Sadly, the boy’s emotions were too well controlled at the moment and his control over his empathy sucked. Regardless of how Kael truly felt about this trip, he was clearly determined to see it through. Why, Zorian didn’t know. When he told Kael about the aranea matriarch’s ambush and the resulting conversation, he did it because he wanted to have someone to bounce ideas from and Kael seemed like the best choice (he already knew about the time loop and he was clearly very intelligent), not because he had wanted Kael to come with him. Kael, on the other hand, insisted that coming alone on such a meeting was the height of idiocy and that Zorian needed a partner to cover him. Zorian reluctantly agreed, not entirely comfortable with risking someone else’s life in this thing, no matter how logical it was. Kael seemed amused that Zorian cared more about his safety than his own, considering that Kael would be restored to normal once the loop restarted and Zorian might not be, but Zorian’s moral sense had yet to adapt to the implications of the time loop and he was horribly bothered by the idea of leading Kael to his death in the tunnels and leaving his daughter all alone in the world… even if it was only for a week or so.
«I told you to drop it,» Kael sighed. «I’m definitely going with you. If nothing else, then so this ‘aranea matriarch’ and I can have a conversation about ethical uses of mind magic.»
Oh right — Kael was still kind of bitter that the spider searched through his memories in her quest to piece together what Zorian’s motives were.
Finally, they descended into the tunnels, Zorian leading the way. He chose his way carefully, occasionally leaving a magical trap behind them in the form of stone cubes covered in spell formula. If they had to flee, the traps should be able to surprise any pursuers by backtracking where the traps were. Most of them simply erected a forcefield to delay the attackers, but a couple had more… aggressive effects. At the very least it should force the pursuers to slow down in order to deal with the cubes and give them enough time to reach the surface.
Kael, meanwhile, was their anti-mentalist support. He had put a mind shield spell on himself, and would remain under the spell’s effects constantly. If the meeting at any point turned sour, Kael would immediately cast the spell on Zorian as well. Kael seemed sure that the spiders had a method of communicating with humans other than telepathy and suggested that they both use the spell right from the start, but Zorian knew he had to keep his mind ‘open’ if he wanted these talks to be in any way productive. His instincts, which Zorian now recognized as his uncontrolled empathic abilities, were telling him that aranea placed great significance on mind-to-mind communication. Shutting them out completely would be seen as an insult, even if they did happen to have alternative methods of communicating.
As they approached the spot where Zorian had first met the aranea during his romp through the sewers with Taiven and her group, he felt a telepathic contact brush against his mind. Like the first time he had met the sentient spiders, this one was cruder, more forceful than the feather-light touch the matriarch had displayed during her ‘visit’ to Imaya’s home.