“What’s that?”
I startle at the sound of Nick’s voice and look up quickly to find him standing in front of me. My heart is pounding out of my chest right now.
“Shit, you scared me.”
“Sorry, I called your name but you look pretty focused on that box. Something for the baby?”
I shake my head and look at it one more time before tucking it under my arm. “No, I’m not sure what it is.”
Before I can invite him in, Noah is barreling down the steps and toward the door dressed in his baseball gear. “Bye, Mom,” he says, running past me to Nick’s car.
“I think that’s my cue.” Nick smiles as he looks at Noah over his shoulder.
I nod, unable to find the words. I want to get inside and open this box, but I don’t want to be rude to Nick.
“Hey, you sure you’re okay? I can call Aubrey and have her come over.”
Shaking my head, I cover my face with my hand to hide my embarrassment. “I’m fine, just spacey.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow before I bring him home, unless you want him back tonight?”
“No, you guys need some time together.” Nick smiles and turns toward his car. “Hey, Nick, good luck tonight,” I tell him as he throws his hand up in a wave. He knows Noah well enough to know that breaking the news that Aubrey is pregnant won’t go over very well.
Once they’re out of the driveway, I go inside and press the buttons on the keypad that turns my house into a fortress. Surprisingly, hearing the windows lock, the deadbolts slide into place and the gate moving into position is calming. The security system is designed to keep people out, although even the most desperate person could find a way into the house if they wanted to. With Linda already off for the day, I’m all by myself.
Setting the box down onto the counter, I pull out the scissors and cut the tape on the box. It’s filled with those annoying Styrofoam peanuts that stick to everything. The eagerness inside of me tells me to just dig in and search for the hidden treasure, but the way my name was written on the package tells me to proceed with caution. I scoop out a few handfuls and soon enough, I uncover a book. As I pull it out, I wish I hadn’t. My stomach drops when I read the title. It’s the book he said was coming, but knew nothing about. It boggles my mind that people can pry into your life and write whatever they want as long as they include the word “source”.
Liam Page: The Untold Story
An Unofficial Account by Calista Jones
The book in my hand feels like it weighs a hundred pounds or more. I flip it over and read the back matter.
Stories told by his closest friends, lovers and allies, journey through the life of Liam Page, as we follow his ascension from high school football star to main stream rock star.
Exclusive diary excerpts from his long-time companion, Samantha Moreno, share tales of their intimate relationship and take us through the darkest times in his life, her untimely death
I cover my mouth and rush to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet as the contents of my lunch are forced out of my body. I choke and gag until nothing is left in my stomach and the only thing coming out of me is tears. Hot, wet and pouring down my face like a faucet.
Leaning back against the wall, I hold my head in my hands and sob. I don’t even need to read it to know what it’s about. This book is going to tell me everything I want to know, but have been afraid to ask. He’s warned me time and time again that I wouldn’t like Liam Page and I’ve disagreed. At times, I see hints of him. A glimmer every now and again, especially in bed, but he hides that persona from me.
Somehow the book is now in my bathroom, sitting on the floor, mocking me. Daring me to pick it up and turn the pages. Taunting me to find out that the man I love is nothing like I’ve known him to be. I can’t do it. I can’t put myself through the misery of hearing what his life was like without me, especially since he’s in Los Angeles now.
I kick the book out of my way and move to the sink. Turning the cold water on, I rinse out my mouth and splash my face. The act is not refreshing, but needed. Two words are on repeat in my brain: Los Angeles. I should ignore them and this book. It should become bonfire material.
Resting against the sink, I stare at the book. As if there is an imaginary force pulling me toward it, I can’t stop myself from bending forward to pick it up. The cover is black and red, the same as the 4225 West logo. I inspect it before I crack the binding. There are pictures – pictures that I’m sure I don’t want to see and will need to skip through when I get there.
I open the book and find that it’s been personalized to me.
Dear Josephine,
To all the ones before, during and after.
Calista Jones
Who the hell is Calista Jones? Is she trying to tell me in not so many words that my husband is cheating on me? That thought alone sends me back to praying to the porcelain gods, but nothing is coming out except sobs. I cry out from the pain destroying my stomach and the sharp knife being jabbed into my heart. Everything in me is yelling that Sam did this, but she’s gone. The only way she could’ve done this is if she wrote it before she died. Unless the crazy bitch isn’t dead and everyone has been lying.
I sit back on my legs, realizing I never let go of the book when I was trying to throw up. As much as I don’t want to read it, I have to. I have lingering questions and this may provide me with the answers.
It may also destroy my marriage, my life and everything that I hold close to my heart. He didn’t tell me not to read it.
My brain is saying burn it but my heart is telling me to turn the page...
So I do.
Layla Richards looks around the club, probably recalling similar memories as I had when we played here. I follow her to one of the high top tables and sit down across from her. She is nothing like I remember with her red hair, wild make-up and questionable clothing all gone. In their place is chin-length hair, which is now dark and considerably toned down make-up. The barely there clothes she used to wear have been replaced with what I consider normal attire. The one thing that hasn’t changed is the color of her eyes, which are in complete contrast to her hair. Looking at her now, you wouldn’t believe she was the lead singer of a rock group.
“It’s so good to see you,” she says as she grabs for my hands. I let her because it’s harmless and Layla is just a friend.
“You, too. I hate that we didn’t keep in touch. What have you been up to?”
“Oh gosh,” she says as she falls back into her chair. “When was the last time I saw you?”
The last time I saw Layla is a night I wish I could forget. I’d love to go back and make sure it never happened¸ make it so I never crossed the line with Sam. I was lonely and for a brief moment thought that Layla and I could revisit things and even though Harrison had warned me, I still liked Layla.
I rub my chin and drag my thumb over my lip. “The last time I saw you some fucker popped me in the face.”
Layla’s eyes go wide as she covers her mouth in shock. “Oh my god,” she says, but it sounds more like ohmygob because her hand is covering her mouth. “Holy shit, I remember that.”
“Your husband, if I remember correctly?”
She waves her hands as if to dismiss what I’m saying.