“Because when you arrived home you were crying. I know what it’s like to be alone and to miss someone. Those weren’t the tears you were shedding. Your tears were angry.”
“How could you tell?”
“I’ve cried many tears, and the ones that made me look the worst were the angry ones.”
I’m taken aback by what she’s saying, and hate that she’s observant enough to know the difference in my tears. Right now, I’d like to ask her to leave, but Noah’s coming down the stairs and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. He needs Bianca in his life and as much as part of me wants to stop their relationship, I won’t do that to him.
I leave them at the table and head into the kitchen with our plates. From a distance I can hear my phone ringing. I hope it’s not Liam because I’m not ready to talk to him. I rush to my phone, not recognizing the number.
Stupidly, I answer. “Hello?”
“Josie Westbury?”
“Yes, who is this?”
“Roger Jones, Editor at Gossip. Can you confirm that Liam Page has filed for divorce?”
I set my phone down and rush into the bathroom, expelling the contents of my stomach into the toilet. Here I am again because of Liam. I try to hold it together because the last thing I want is for Bianca to ask questions.
When I sit back on my heels, she’s handing me a towel. I can’t keep the tears away any longer, nor can I keep up this stupid façade that I trust my husband.
“I’m sorry; you don’t need to see this.” I get up and head to the sink, rinsing my mouth and splashing water on my face. From behind me, the toilet flushes, causing another wave of tears. I don’t trust Bianca, and yet I’m vulnerable.
She sets my phone down on the counter and steps through the doorway. “One thing I learned from growing up in the world you’re living in is that you can’t trust everything you hear or see. Call him, Josie.” The door shuts, locking me in this small space with my demons.
“Thank you for being here today,” says the short brunette who is standing at the podium next to our table. Besides the band and Layla, four other guys are sitting at the table with us. I don’t have a clue as to who they are, but they must be important to Trixie since they’re here and willing to help her.
“If you didn’t sign in with your seat number, please let me know.” She holds up a clipboard, but there are no takers. “My name is Wendy and I’ll be your moderator today. To keep things orderly, please raise your hand and I’ll call out your seat number.”
Burke appears with glasses and pitchers of water. “What about the vodka?” I ask, but get no reply. I lean into Layla and ask her if she’s ready for this. When I hear shutters clicking, I know I’ve made a grave mistake. “Fuck,” I mutter under my breath, only to feel her hand on my knee. Thank God for tablecloths or I’d be more screwed than I already am.
“Before we start, I’d like to introduce you to the panel. First we have Adam, Lem, Chett and Dex from Wild Nobility.” Wendy, helpfully, sheds light as to who the other four musicians are before introducing Layla and then us to the waiting crowd. “Okay, now that the formalities are out of the way, let’s begin,” Wendy says to the delight of the audience. Hands fly up into the air and I use this opportunity to fill my water glass and drink it down before I have to answer any questions.
“Number twenty-seven,” Wendy calls out.
“How do you find time to balance your personal and professional life?”
I look at Layla who is answering first. She smiles and leans into the microphone. “Being a songwriter, it’s easy for me to be a mom first. I write when the lyrics are in my head, but I don’t have to be in a certain location to do that. I always have my phone with me and can easily make notes on that if inspiration strikes.”
I take a deep breath and pull the microphone to me. “We work nine to five like everyone else, but with the flexibility of taking time off when needed for our kids.”
“We’re not just a band, but a family. Our family comes first,” Harrison adds.
“We’re far too busy to have personal lives,” Dex, one of the guys on the end answers. Someone should tell them that being in love and having kids will trump being in a band any day.
“Number four.”
“Do you ever give in to temptations, or find yourself battling them?”
“I got into some trouble early on in my career, but once I could get those under control, I’ve been okay. Right now, my only temptation is men.” Layla has the crowd eating out of her hand with her answers and the women laugh at her response. “It’s hard to keep my hands off a good looking man.”
“Since I moved out of LA a few years ago, I’ve been happy and living a great life. My only temptation is my wife.”
Harrison and JD answers are similar to mine while the guys from Wild Nobility talk about how they battle with urges every day. They might want to think about rehab.
Hands fly up in the air and Wendy says, “Number fifteen.”
“This question is for Liam and Layla. Liam, you had a very close relationship with Layla when you were starting out in the business. How does it feel to work with her again after all these years?”
“Layla and I didn’t work together so this will be our first time. We were just friends.”
“With benefits,” someone yells out.
I clear my throat and sit up a bit taller. “As I said, we were friends. Harrison and Layla had more of a working relationship.”
This is why I don’t do interviews, because people can’t just ask questions about music. They have to get personal. I take a drink of my water and fiddle with my bracelet.
“Number one.”
“How do you describe your perfect day?”
“The sun is shining, lyrics are flowing and my daughter is happy,” Layla answers and then I’m up next.
“My perfect day would be with my wife and son. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing, as long as we’re together.”
“I’m the same as Liam. Being with my wife and kids makes every day perfect.”
“Ah, I’m happy when I’m with my Little One or when my missus is walking about starkers.”
“Jesus, JD,” I say, causing everyone to laugh.
“Number three.”
“What is the worst rumor you’ve heard about yourself?”
We all start to laugh because where do you even start?
“That I had died from a drug overdose on stage,” Layla says. I look at her and she shrugs. I hadn’t heard that one, although I really wasn’t paying attention all these years.
“Um… for me, I guess it would have to be…” The rumor I hate the most is the one I’m constantly emailed about: Are you cheating on your wife? I never answer them, which is probably code for: I am. Thing is, I can’t say that now because they’ll run with it and twist my words. I do what every musician is expected to do; I lie. “Mine would be the constant rumors about my many stints in rehab. I’ve never been in one, nor have I ever been addicted to drugs.”
“Are there any rumors about me?” Leave it to Harrison to be perfect.
“That I’m gay,” JD says.
“We all know that’s not true,” a female voice rings out.
“Damn right, love.”
At the other end of the table, Lem clears his throat. Apparently he’s ready to answer. “Our biggest rumor is that we don’t get along. It’s not true.”
I look down the table and can tell he’s lying. The other two band members haven’t said a thing during any of the questions, only Dex, who I’m assuming is their lead singer. He looks emo, and is probably a pill popping tweaker.
“Number eight.”
My favorite number.
“My question is for Liam and Layla. Have you read Calista Jones’ biography?”
My blood turns cold as I lean in. “That would be an unauthorized biography, and the answer is no.”