It was not so. She went up to the other woman who was standing at the corner, and telling her to look out for the police, came back to me, and again placing her back up against the wall, I fucked her. “Wasn't it nice !” said she dropping her petticoats. And then we stood and talked.
“Stand a drink”, said she, “you've got some silver.” I did not mind, and was curious to see her. She called her friend, and all three went to a public-house, the lady with all my emission in her cunt. I found she was a full-grown woman of about thirty with dark hair, dark eyes, and with a bold expression in them. We had mulled port-wine, then something else, and stood drinking till all my money was gone. Her companion left us saying she had not gained a farthing that night, and must do so.
My woman then got pleasanter, and wanted more liquor, my money was gone, but I had a pencil-case, and asked the bar-man if he would lend me a few shillings on it. He did, and I then spent more on liquor, then we went out together again into the cold street; she pissed, saying the cold and the liquor had made her leaky. “I wish you would let me again”, said I. Well she would, and up against a wall again we fucked heartily. With my spunk in her we walked together into the Strand. She said she would like to see me again, but I never did. Whilst fucking her the second time she shoved her tongue almost down my throat, and breathed so hard. I never fucked a woman in the street who did so, either before or since. A few nights after I got my pencil-case back from the beer-man.
One night a nice, strong built woman about thirty years of age seemingly, took my five shillings, and went to a house with me. She was dressed in black silk, neat but shabby. She sat down on a chair, and pulling up her clothes rearranged both her garters, showing what I expected, and what I had engaged her for; a pair of fat legs. Then down went her clothes. I began feeling her, she pushed her bum back on the chair, but her thighs and the hairy ornaments I could feel. I was awfully randy, my prick was raging. “Let's feel you”, said she. Willingly I let her grasp it, then she moved her arse forward, and I had the pleasure of just feeling a moist clitoris from which I was diverted by a painful squeeze she gave my prick. She was squeezing no doubt to see if I had any ailment. The effect of the squeeze, which made me call out, was to make me mad with randiness. “Take off your things, and let me do it.” “Where is the five shillings?” I placed them in her hands, she pocketed them, and got up. Lifting her petticoats I pressed her towards the bed where she was standing when she had spoken, but she pushed down her petticoats, and moved away.
“Not likely I'm going to take off my things for five shillings”, said she as the money slipped down into her pocket, “give me fifteen shillings more, and I will, — I'm a fine-built woman”, — and she pulled her clothes clean up to her waist, turned round like a tetotum, and after showing both arse and belly, slowly dropped her clothes again.
“Come to the side of the bed.” “No I shan't, you've had a feel for five shillings, give me fifteen shillings more, and I'll give you pleasure I know, — I'll do all you want me.”
“I can't.” “Then I can't.” I had not a pound in my pocket, but if I had, am sure indeed I should have given it to her, but I could not. “Give me ten shillings, and I'll pay for the room then”, said she. “I didn't know what house I was at, but generally they asked at those places the price of the room first.
“Just as you like”, though I was dying for a fuck. “Then I will go.” “I have paid you, — if you choose to bilk me I can't help it.” “I don't want to bilk you, but I never let a man have me for five shillings, and I never will, — give me five shillings more.”
“Let me feel you, if you won't let me poke you.” “You may do that.” Leaning her bum against the side of the bed, I began groping; she complaisantly moving one leg up on to a chair, so as to open her thighs well, got hold of my prick, and began frigging it. “Give me another five shillings”, said she coaxingly, and under the influence of the masturbating process I gave it to her. She gave my penis the most delicate tittillation whilst I was searching in my pocket for the money, but she would not let me after she had got the five shillings. She went on frigging me, repeating that she never let any one have her unless she had a pound given her.
I was annoyed, and hated frigging. Here was a well-formed woman, a cunt at hand, and yet I was to spunk out on to the floor, was being made a fool of. Stopping I said, “You don't mean to let me, whatever I give you.” “Yes I do, for a sovereign.” “Frig me then.” She took my tool in her hand, and frigged. “Let me spend against your cunt.” “No.” “Against your thighs.” “No.” “Oh !—ah !” Finding it was coming she left off. “Give me five shillings, and I will”, said she, but I would not, began frigging myself, and spite of her pushed one hand up on to her thighs, and frigged away with the other. “Take care of my dress”, said she. The savage delight of doing what she wished me not, came over me. Turning my prick I shot my sperm copiously over her silk dress, and finished by flinging from my fingers what remained of it towards her face. “You damned dirty beast, you did it on purpose.” “Serve you right, you cheating whore”, said I putting on my hat, and leaving her with a towel wiping off my sperm, and cursing me as she did it. I don't know when I felt so spiteful against a woman as I did against her. My discharge was quick and copious, I saw it on her waist downwards. I have been bilked before and since, but have mostly pardoned the woman, for sometimes I have thought the poor things had their courses on, or some ailment or deformity; but I still seem to hate this one.
I may add that at the time these doings took place there were but three theatres in the Strand.
Chapter II
Preliminary remarks. • A dress-lodger. • Lucy. • Sweet seventeen. • An impudent demand. • A row. • The bawd. • My watch requisitioned. • Exit barred. • Bill. • Funking. • Determination. • The poker and window. • Vici. • Apologies. • A cautious retreat. • My revenge. • Lucy scared away. • Brighton Bessie. • Washing by fire-light. • Friendly intimacy. • The house in B.W Street. • Lascivious evenings.
I have read through the two volumes in print. There are typographical errors, the names of women and places are once or twice wrongly given or spelt, but the context corrects that, and it matters not. What is important is; that owing to the brevity with which some occurrences are told, they almost seem improbable; this is the result of not printing my narrative all through exactly as I wrote it. In the manuscript, items of conversation, and numerous details of the behaviour of myself and female partners in my amours, were written down just as they occurred, and showed how the climax was reached; how little by little man and woman inclined to each other, how one pressed, and the other yielded, how from modest talk and chaste kisses our chastity gradually was lost, how by touch and sighs and yielding to the swooning lust which coursed stronger and stronger through our veins, our genitals inflamed, swollen, and sweating, drove us to contact with each other, till the carnal coupling ensued, and prick and cunt revelling and wallowing in each other's juices, drowned both wants and senses in voluptuous oblivion.
These details also gave studies of character, and specially of my own character, and as I now read the narratives in print after the lapse of so many years they seem to me to be needed to explain myself, even to myself. It is too late. The manuscript is burnt, that printed in its stead must be taken as truth or not, as scepticism or faith prevails in the reader, if ever there be one but myself.