“How terribly embarrassing!” said Miss Goering. “Dear me, what did you answer to that?”
“I don’t remember,” said Andy, “I just remember that it was embarrassing like you say and we didn’t feel that he had to make the announcement anyway.
“She was already in her chair the next night when we got there; nicely made up and wearing a very pretty, clean blouse pinned in front with a brooch shaped like a butterfly. Her hair was marcelled too and she was a natural blonde. I kept my ear cocked and I heard her telling the little man that her appetite got better all the time and that she could sleep fourteen hours a day. After that I began to notice her mouth. It was like a rose petal or a heart or some kind of a little shell. It was really beautiful. Then right away I started to wonder what she would be like; the rest of her, you understand — without any legs.” He stopped talking and walked around the room once, looking up at his walls.
“It came into my mind like an ugly snake, this idea, and curled there to stay. I looked at her head so little and so delicate against the dark grimy wall and it was the apple of sin that I was eating for the first time.”
“Really for the first time?” said Miss Goering. She looked bewildered and was lost in thought for a moment.
“From then on I thought of nothing else but finding out; every other thought left my head.”
“And before what were your thoughts like?” Miss Goering asked him a little maliciously. He didn’t seem to hear her.
“Well, this went on for some time — the way I felt about her. I was seeing Belle, who came to the restaurant often, after that first night, and I was seeing Mary too. I got friendly with Belle. There was nothing special about her. She loved wine and I actually used to pour it down her throat for her. She talked a little bit too much about her family and was a little good. Not exactly religious, but a little too full of the milk of human kindness sort of thing. It grew and grew, this terrible curiosity or desire of mine until finally my mind started to wander when I was with Mary and I couldn’t sleep with her any more. She was swell all the way through it, though, patient as a lamb. She was much too young to have such a thing happen to her. I was like a horrible old man or one of those impotent kings with a history of syphilis behind him.”
“Did you tell your sweetheart what was getting on your nerves?” asked Miss Goering, trying to hurry him up a bit.
“I didn’t tell her because I wanted the buildings to stay in place for her and I wanted the stars to be over her head and not cockeyed — I wanted her to be able to walk in the park and feed the birdies in years to come with some other fine human being hanging onto her arm. I didn’t want her to have to lock something up inside of her and look out at the world through a nailed window. It was not long before I went to bed with Belle and got myself a beautiful case of syphilis, which I spent the next two years curing. I took to bowling along about then and I finally left my mother’s house and my work and came out to No-man’s Land. I can live in this apartment all right on a little money that I get from a building I own down in the slums of the city.”
He sat down in a chair opposite Miss Goering and put his face in his hands. Miss Goering judged that he had finished and she was just about to thank him for his hospitality and wish him good-night when he uncovered his face and began again.
“The worst of all I remember clearly; more and more I couldn’t face my mother. I’d stay out bowling all day long and half the night. Then on the fourth day of July I decided that I would make a very special effort to spend the day with her. There was a big parade supposed to go by our window at three in the afternoon. Very near to that time I was standing in the parlor with a pressed suit on, and Mother was sitting as close to the window as she could get. It was a sunny day out and just right for a parade. The parade was punctual because about a quarter to three we began to hear some faint music in the distance. Then soon after that my country’s red, white, and blue flag went by, held up by some fine-looking boys. The band was playing Yankee Doodle. All of a sudden I hid my face in my hands; I couldn’t look at my country’s flag. Then I knew, once and for all, that I hated myself. Since then I have accepted my status as a skunk. ‘Citizen Skunk’ happens to be a little private name I have for myself. You can have some fun in the mud, though, you know, if you just accept a seat in it instead of trying to squirm around.”
“Well,” said Miss Goering, “I certainly think you could pull yourself together with a bit of an effort. I wouldn’t put much stock in that flag episode either.”
He looked at her vaguely. “You talk like a society lady,” he said to her.
“I am a society lady,” said Miss Goering. “I am also rich, but I have purposely reduced my living standards. I have left my lovely home and I have moved out to a little house on the island. The house is in very bad shape and costs me practically nothing. What do you think of that?”
“I think you’re cuckoo,” said Andy, and not at all in a friendly tone. He was frowning darkly. “People like you shouldn’t be allowed to have money.”
Miss Goering was surprised to hear him making such a show of righteous indignation.
“Please,” she said, “could you possibly open the window?”
“There will be an awfully cold wind blowing through here if I do,” said Andy.
“Nevertheless,” said Miss Goering, “I think I would prefer it.”
“I’ll tell you,” said Andy, moving uncomfortably around his chair. “I just put in a bad spell of grippe and I’m dead afraid of getting into a draft.” He bit his lip and looked terribly worried. “I could go and stand in the next room if you want while you get your breath of fresh air,” he added, brightening up a bit.
“That’s a jolly good idea,” said Miss Goering.
He left and closed the bedroom door softly behind him. She was delighted with the chance to get some cool air, and after she had opened the window she placed her two hands on the sill far apart from each other and leaned out. She would have enjoyed this far more had she not been certain that Andy was standing still in his room consumed with boredom and impatience. He still frightened her a little and at the same time she felt that he was a terrible burden. There was a gas station opposite the apartment house. Although the office was deserted at the moment, it was brightly lighted and a radio on the desk had been left on. There was a folksong coming over the air. Soon there was a short rap at the bedroom door, which was just what she had been expecting to hear. She closed the window regretfully before the tune had finished.
“Come in,” she called to him, “come in.” She was dismayed to see when Andy opened the door that he had removed all of his clothing with the exception of his socks and his underdrawers. He did not seem to be embarrassed, but behaved as though they had both tacitly understood that he was to appear dressed in this fashion.
He walked with her to the couch and made her sit down beside him. Then he flung his arm around her and crossed his legs. His legs were terribly thin, and on the whole he looked inconsequential now that he had removed his clothing. He pressed his cheek to Miss Goering’s.
“Do you think you could make me a little happy?” he asked her.
“For Heaven’s sake,” said Miss Goering, sitting bolt upright, “I thought you were beyond that.”
“Well, no man can really look into the future, you know.” He narrowed his eyes and attempted to kiss her.
“Now, about that woman,” she said, “Belle, who had neither arms nor legs?”
“Please, darling, let’s not discuss her now. Will you do me that favor?” His tone was a little sneering, but there was an undercurrent of excitement in his voice. He said: “Now tell me whatever it is that you like. You know … I haven’t lost all my time these two years. There are a few little things I pride myself on.”