“Hey, Summer! You’re back!”
“Hi, Ken,” Summer said, managing to stiffly return his hug. “Yeah. That’s me. Back. For a week.” And she blushed an even hotter shade of pink.
“Come on Kenny-benny! You promised to buy us mushroom pizza and those fizzy blue hypnotic drinks,” pouted a pair of identical twin silver-haired, gold-winged fairies.
Kenny gave Summer an apologetic smile. “Sorry, gotta go. I’ll call you later, okay? Is your number still the same?”
“Yeah. The same. Still.” Summer tried to smile, but her face ended up looking more like an enthusiastic grimace.
“Oh, no no no. This is so damn sad. You have a crush on Fairy Kenny,” Jenny said when they were alone again.
“Shhh!” Summer hushed her. “He might hear you.”
“Oh, please. He’s too busy with the slut sisters and their trampy friends. Hang on.” Jenny turned, faced the counter, and nailed the giggling pink waitress with her stern gaze. Her voice carried easily across the bar, slicing through the chattering fairies like a saber through a butterfly-infested flower garden. “Esmeralda, we need another round of martinis and a veggie pizza. Now. And do not make me repeat myself.” The waitress gulped, nodded, and scampered off to place their order. Jenny briskly brushed her hands against one another, as if pleased at a job well done, then she sat back in the booth, turning her full attention on Summer. “Okay, give. Why did you turn into the Incredible Cardboard Woman the instant Kenny-benny spoke to you?”
“I like him,” Summer whispered, upending her martini and patting on the stem as she tried to coax the last of the liquid from the glass.
“Yeah, so? That doesn’t explain the stiffness.”
Summer sighed. “He and I grew up together. We were best friends, or at least we were until we hit puberty and I realized how gorgeous and perfect he is. Since then things have been kinda awkward between us.”
“Kenny’s been through puberty? Who knew?”
“Stop it! He’s cute beyond belief. Don’t you think he looks just like Legolas?” she said, shooting furtive glances at Ken.
“I guess so, only gayer. If that’s possible.” Jenny shrugged. “But whatever floats your boat.”
“He definitely floats my boat,” Summer said.
“Does he know that?”
“Huh?”
“You said you guys grew up together, and then things changed when you started crushing on him. Maybe you should let him know why things changed.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. I’m not very good at—”
“Here are your drinks, ladies. Your pizza should be right out,” gushed the waitress as she sloshed their new martinis down on the table in front of them.
“Thank you, Esmeralda. How kind of you to finally show us special attention.”
“I—I just didn’t realize it was you, Jenny,” the fairy said. “Discipline Nymphs always get special attention at Knight Caps.”
“As well they should,” Jenny said smoothly, bowing her head in gracious acknowledgment of the fairy’s apology.
The waitress hurried away, and Jenny turned her gaze back to Summer. “So, you need to let Kenny know you have the hots for him.”
“Ack!” Summer sputtered, mid–martini sip. She swallowed, coughed, and said, “Jenny, like I was saying, I’m not good at, well, the guy-girl thing. It’s just so—I don’t know—unpredictable.”
“Oh, please. Kenny-benny isn’t a guy. He’s a fairy. And they’re really predictable. They frolic—they flirt—they scamper.”
“I happen to think there’s more to Kenny than that, but as I said, I’m not good at the social interaction thing.”
“You have issues with guys.”
“No, just with guys I like.”
“Okay, fine. Just with guys you like. What are you going to do about it?”
“Huh?”
Jenny snorted. “Darling, you’re definitely old enough to take the bull by the horns. Figuratively and literally.”
Summer took another drink of her martini. “You’re right. I know you’re right. But knowing and doing are two different things.”
“Look, you don’t seem especially tongue-tied right now. Actually, you’ve been rather amusing, so you’re definitely not conversationally impaired. Just talk to the fairy.”
“I’m only conversationally impaired when I have to talk to someone I want to sleep with. I like you, and you’re attractive and all, but I definitely don’t want to sleep with you.”
Jenny preened. “Nice of you to notice I’m attractive.” Then her arched brows went up. “Hang on—you want to have hot, nasty sex with fairy boy?”
“No, I’d like him to make tender, slow, amazing love to me,” Summer said, blushing again.
“Are you sure?” Jenny studied her carefully. “I’m getting the need-to-have-it-uncontrolled-and-hot-and-hard vibe from you, and I’m rarely wrong about my vibes.”
“Jeesh, I’m sure. I don’t do uncontrolled. Enough already.”
“Okay, okay. You two are friends, right?”
“We were.”
“You can still play off that. Hey, aren’t you living in your sister’s cabin at the edge of the woods?”
“Yeah.”
“So, invite fairy boy over for dinner. You know,” she winked, “for old time’s sake. Then jump his bones,” Jenny paused, rolled her eyes, and added, “slowly and tenderly.”
Summer chewed her lip. “I don’t know . . .”
“Take it from me. When dealing with men, fairy or otherwise, it’s always best to be in charge and direct. Plus, you like control, and you’ll definitely be in control if the date’s on your turf.”
“I’ll think about it,” Summer said, her eyes moving back to where Ken was perched in the middle of the group of fawning fairies at the bar.
“What you should think about is taking another gulp of that martini, putting on some of this nasty red lipstick, fluffing your hair, and marching yourself right over to that bar and extending the big invite to fairy boy.” Jenny fished in her purse until she pulled out a tube of lipstick called Roaring Red and tossed it to Summer. Then she gave the giggling fairies a contemptuous glance. “You’re cuter than those pastel pansies; don’t let them intimidate you. Female fairies would lust after a snake if you put jeans on it and called it Bob. Everyone knows how easy they are, and no one takes them seriously.”
“I guess I could.” Summer gnawed her lip again. “I mean, we are old friends.”
“Exactly.”
She took a big drink of her martini, letting the alcohol burn through her body. Another gale of giggles erupted from the fairies, and Summer seemed to shrink in on herself. “I can’t. I just can’t. It’s so . . . I don’t know . . . unplanned.”
“Girlfriend, life is unplanned. Get used to it. Okay, how about this deaclass="underline" if you ask Kenny-benny over for dinner, I’ll take my class on the field trip to the gallery with you tomorrow and be sure the hormones and germs act right.”
Summer sat up straighter. “You’ll come with me?”
Jenny shrugged. “I’m getting ready to start Romeo and Juliet with my freshmen, so I might as well. Plus, your students will probably behave dreadfully and need an ever-so-firm disciplinary hand,” she finished with a gleeful smile.
“Promise?”
“That I’ll jump squarely into your students’ shit? Absolutely.”
“Not that. Do you promise you’ll come with me if I ask Ken out?”
“Yep.”
“Even if he says no?”
“Don’t put that negative energy out there. Of course he’ll say yes, and of course, regardless of the fairy, I’ll go with you tomorrow. Now gird yourself and go ask him out.”
“Fine. Okay. I can do this.” Summer gulped the last of the martini, ran her fingers through her curly blond hair, and in two quick swipes of Jenny’s lipstick completed the transformation from Nice New Teacher into tipsy Discipline Nymph Trainee.
Just before she stood up, Jenny motioned for her to lean across the table. “Here, this will help.” She deftly unbuttoned the top two buttons of Summer’s blouse. “That’s better. I’d do a quick make-yournipples-hard spell, but what with your opposite magic, I’m afraid of what would happen.”