"He looks scared to me," Aahz retorted. "Maybe you should tone down your disguise a bit next time."
"Do you think he's a demon-hunter?" I asked nervously.
Instead of answering my question, Aahz turned abruptly from the window.
"If he wants a magician, we'll give him a magician," he murmured. "Quick, kid, slap the Garkin disguise on me."
As I noted earlier, Garkin was my first magik instructor. An imposing figure with a salt-and-pepper beard, he was one of our favorite and most oft-used disguises. I could do Garkin in my sleep.
"Good enough, kid," Aahz commented, surveying the results of my work. "Now follow close and let me do the talking."
"Like this?" I exclaimed.
"Relax, kid," he reassured me. "For this conversation I'm you. Understand?"
Aahz was already heading out through the door without waiting for my reply, leaving me little choice other than to follow along behind him.
"Who seeks an audience with the great Skeeve?" Aahz bellowed in a resonant bass voice.
The man shot another nervous glance at me, then drew himself up in stiff formality.
"I come as an emissary from his most noble Majesty, Rodrick the Fifth, King of Possiltum, who-"
"Where's Possiltum?" Aahz interrupted.
"I beg your pardon?" the man blinked.
"Possiltum," Aahz repeated. "Where is it?"
"Oh!" the man said with sudden understanding. "It's the kingdom just east of here... other side of the Ember River . .. you can't miss it."
"Okay," Aahz nodded. "Go on."
The man took a deep breath, then hesitated, frowning.
"King of Possiltum," I prompted.
"Oh yes! Thanks." The man shot a quick smile, then another quick stare, then continued, "King of Possiltum, who sends his respects and greetings to the one known as Skeeve the magician ..."
He paused and looked at Aahz expectantly. He was rewarded with a polite nod of the head. Satisfied, the man continued.
"His Majesty extends an invitation to Skeeve the magician to appear before the court of Possiltum that he might be reviewed for his suitability for the position of court magician."
"I don't really feel qualified to pass judgment on the king's suitability as a court magician," Aahz said modestly, eyeing the man carefully. "Isn't he content just to be king?"
"No, no!" the man corrected hastily. "The king wants to review your suitability."
"Oh!" Aahz said with the appearance of sudden understanding. "That's a different matter entirely. Well, well. An invitation from... who was it again?"
"Rodrick the Fifth," the man announced, lifting his head haughtily.
"Well," Aahz said, grinning broadly. "I've never been one to refuse a fifth!"
The man blinked and frowned, then glanced at me quizzically. I shrugged, not understanding the joke myself.
"You may tell His Majesty," Aahz continued, unaware of our confusion. "I shall be happy to accept his kind invitation. I shall arrive at his court at my earliest convenience."
The man frowned. "I believe His Majesty requires your immediate presence," he commented darkly.
"Of course," Aahz answered smoothly. "How silly of me. If you will accept our hospitality for the night, I and my assistant here will be most pleased to accompany you in the morning."
I knew a cue when I heard one. I drooled and bared my teeth at the messenger.
The man shot a horrified look in my direction. "Actually," he said hastily, "I really must be going. I'll tell His Majesty you'll be following close behind."
"You're sure you wouldn't like to stay?" Aahz asked hopefully.
"Positive!" The man nearly shouted his reply as he began backing the bird away from us.
"Oh, well," Aahz said. "Perhaps we'll catch up with you on the road."
"In that case," the man said, turning his bird, "I'll want a head . .. that is, I'd best be on my way to announce your coming."
I raised my hand to wave good-bye, but he was already moving at a rapid pace, urging his mount to still greater speeds and ignoring me completely.
"Excellent!" Aahz exclaimed, rubbing his hands together gleefully. "A court magician! What a soft job! And the day started out so miserably."
"If I can interrupt," I interrupted. "There's one minor flaw in your plan."
"Hmm? What's that?"
" I don' t want to be a court magician!" As usual, my protest didn't dampen his enthusiasm at all.
"You didn't want to be a magician, either," he reminded me bluntly. "You wanted to be a thief. Well, here's a good compromise for you. As a court magician, you'll be a civil servant... and civil servants are thieves on a grander scale than you ever dreamed possible!"
Chapter Three:
"Ninety percent of any business transaction is selling yourself to the client."
-X. HOLLANDER
"Now let me see if I've got this right," I said carefully. "You're saying they probably won't hire me on the basis of my abilities?"
I couldn't believe I'd interpreted Aahz's lecture correctly, but he beamed enthusiastically.
"That's right, kid," he approved. "Now you've-
"No, I don't," I insisted. "That's the craziest thing I've ever heard!"
Aahz groaned and hid his face in his hand.
It had been like this ever since we left the inn, and three days of a demon's groaning is a bit much for anyone to take.
"I'm sorry, Aahz." I said testily, "but I don t believe it. I've taken a lot of things you've told me on faith, but this... this goes against common sense.
"What does common sense have to do with it?" he exploded. "We're talking about a job interview!"
At this outburst, Buttercup snorted and tossed his head, making it necessary for us to duck out of range of his horn.
"Steady, Buttercup!" I admonished soothingly.
Though he still rolled his eyes, the unicorn resumed his stoic plodding, the travois loaded with our equipment dragging along behind him still intact. Despite incidents such as had occurred back at the inn. Buttercup and I got along fairly well, and he usually obeyed me. In contrast, he and Aahz never really hit it off, especially when the latter chose to raise his voice angrily.
"All it takes is a little gentleness," I informed Aahz smugly. "You should try it sometime."
"While you're showing off your dubious rapport with animals," Aahz retorted, "you might call your dragon back. All we need is to have him stirring up the countryside."
I cast a quick glance about. He was right. Gleep had disappeared... again.
"Gleep!" I called. "Come here, fella!"
"Gleep!" came an answering cry.
The bushes off to our left parted, and the dragon's head emerged.
"Gleep?" he said, cocking his head.
" Come here!" I repeated.
My pet needed no more encouragement. He bounded into the open and trotted to my side.
"I still say we should have left that stupid dragon back at the inn," Aahz grumbled.
I ignored him, checking to be sure that the gear hung saddlebag fashion over the dragon's back was still secure. Personally, I felt we were carrying far too much in the way of personal belongings, but Aahz had insisted. Gleep tried to nuzzle me affectionately with his head, and I caught a whiff of his breath. For a moment, I wondered if Aahz had been right about leaving the dragon behind.
"What were you saying about job interviews?" I asked, both to change the subject and to hide the fact I was gagging.
"I know it sounds ridiculous, kid," Aahz began with sudden sincerity, "and it is, but a lot of things are ridiculous, particularly in this dimension. That doesn't mean we don't have to deal with them."