This time, I managed to get the door open before the buzzing stopped, and stepped through into the vestibule. The lighting was dim, and got downright dark after I let the door shut. I started to open it again to get my bearings, but pulled my hand back at the last minute. It might set off an alarm somewhere, and if there was one thing I didn't need right now it was more trouble.
Slowly my eyes adjusted to the shadowy dimness, and I could make out a narrow hall with an even narrower flight of stairs which vanished into the gloom above. "Come right up" she had said, so I took her literally and started up the stairs... hoping all the while I was right. After ascending several flights, this hope was becoming fervent. There was no sign of habitation on any of the halls I passed, and the way the stairs creaked and groaned under me, I wasn't at all sure I wasn't heading into a condemned area of the building.
Just when I was about to yield to my fears and retreat to the ground floor, the stairs ended. The apartment I was looking for was right across the hall from where I stood, so I had little choice but to proceed. Raising my hand, I knocked gently, afraid that anything more violent might trigger a catastrophic chain reaction.
"Come in! It's open!"
Summoning my courage, I let myself in.
The place was both tiny and jammed with clutter. I had the impression one could reach out one's arms and touch the opposing walls simultaneously. In fact, I had to fight against the impulse to do exactly that, as the walls and their contents appeared to be on the brink of caving in. I think it was then I discovered that I was mildly claustrophobic.
"So you're a friend of that no-account Aahzmandius. I knew he'd come to no good, but I never dreamed he'd sink so low as to hang around with a Klahd." This last was uttered by what had to be Aahz's mother... it had to be because she was the only person in the room besides myself! My eye had passed over her at first, she was so much a part of the apartment, but once she drew my attention, she seemed to dominate the entire environ... if not the whole dimension.
Remember when I said that Pookie was one of two types of females I had noted on Perv? Well, Aahz's mother was the other type. While Pookie was sleek and muscular in an almost serpentine way, the figure before me resembled nothing so much as a huge toad... a green, scaly, reptilian toad. (I have since had it pointed out to me that toads are amphibians and not reptiles, but at the time that's what she made me think of.)
She was dressed in a baggy housecoat which made her seem even more bloated than she really was. The low, stuffed chair she was sitting in was almost obscured from view by her bulk, which seemed to swell over the sides of the chair and flow onto the mottled carpet. There was a tangle of white string on her lap which she jabbed at viciously with a small, barbed stick she was holding. At first, it gave the illusion she was torturing string, but then I noticed there were similar masses draped over nearly every available flat surface in the apartment, and concluded that she was involved in some kind of craft project, the nature of which was beyond my knowledge or appreciation.
"Good afternoon, Mrs... ."
"Call me Duchess," she snapped. "Everyone does. Don't know why, though... haven't had royalty on this dimension for generations. Beheaded them all and divvied up their property... those were the days!" She smacked her lips at the memory, though of royalty or beheadings I wasn't sure, and pointed vaguely at the far wall. I looked, half expecting to see a head mounted on a plaque, then realized she was pointing at a faded picture hanging there. I also realized I couldn't make it out through the dust and grime on its surface.
"It's the maid's day off," the Duchess said sharply, noting my expression. " Can't get decent work out of domestics since they outlawed flogging!"
I have seldom heard such an obvious lie... about the maid, I mean, not the flogging. The cobwebs, dust, and litter which were prevalent everywhere could not have accumulated in a day... or in a year for that matter. The shelves and cases throughout the room were jammed with the tackiest collection of bric-a-brac and dustcatchers it had ever been my misfortune to behold, and every dustcatcher had caught its capacity and more. I had no idea why the Duchess felt it necessary to imply she had servants when she obviously had little regard for me, but there was no point in letting her know I didn't believe her.
"Yes. Well... Duchess, I've been trying to locate your son, Aahz... mandius, and was hoping you might have some information as to his whereabouts."
"Aahzmandius? That wastrel?" Her narrow yellow eyes seemed to glow angrily. "If I had any idea where he was, do you think I'd be sitting here?"
"Wastrel?"
I was starting to wonder if we were talking about the same Aahz.
"What would you call it?" she snapped. "He hasn't sent me a cent since he left school. That means he's spending so much on himself there's nothing left to share with the family that nurtured him and raised him and made him what he is today. How does he expect me to maintain the lifestyle expected of our family, much less keep up my investing, if he doesn't send me any money?"
"Investing?" I said, the light starting to dawn.
"Of course. I've been doing all the investing for our family since my husband passed on. I was just starting to get the hang of it when Aahzmandius quit school and disappeared without a cent... I mean a trace. I'm sure that if I just had a few million more to work with I'd get it right this time."
"I see."
"Say, you wouldn't by any chance have access to some venture capital, would you? I could invest it for you and we could split the profits... except it's best to put your money to work by reinvesting it as soon as you get it." I was suddenly very aware of the weight of the checkbook in my pocket. The conversation was taking a decidedly uncomfortable turn.
"Um... actually I'm a little short right now," I hedged. "In fact, I was looking for... Aahzmandius because he owes me money."
"Well, don't you have any friends you could borrow a million or two from?"
"Not really. They're all as poor as I am. In fact, I've got to go now. Duchess. I've got a cab waiting downstairs and every minute I'm here is costing more than you'd imagine."
I suppose I should have been despairing as Edvick drove Pookie and me back to the hotel. My last hope for finding Aahz was gone. Now that tracking him down through the magicians had proved to be futile, I had no idea how to locate him other than knocking on every door in the dimension... and I just didn't have the energy to attempt that even if I had the time. The mission was a bust, and there was nothing to do but pay off Edvick and Pookie, check out of the hotel, and figure out how to signal Massha to pick me up and take me to Klah. I hoped that simply removing the ring she had given me would bring her running, but I wasn't sure. Maybe I would be more effective at stopping Queen Hemlock than I had been in finding Aahz.
I should have been despairing as I wrote out the checks for my driver and bodyguard in preparation for our parting, but I wasn't. Instead, I found myself thinking about the Duchess. My first reaction to her was that she was a crazy old lady trying to live in the past by maintaining an illusion of wealth that nobody believed except her. Ideally, someone who cared should give her a stem talking to and try to bring her back into contact with reality so she could start adjusting to what was instead of what had been or should be. I guess, on reflection, I found her situation to be more sad than irritating or contemptible.
Then, somehow, my thoughts began wandering from her case to my own. Was I as guilty as she was of trying to run my life on was and should be instead of accepting and dealing with reality? I had been an untraveled, untrained youth, and that self-image still haunted me in everything I said and did. I felt I should be a flawless businessman and manager, and treated both myself and others rather harshly pursuing that goal. What was my reality? Even before coming to Perv, many of my associates, including Aahz, had tried to convince me I was something more than I felt I was. Time and time again, I had discounted their words, assuming they were either trying to be nice to ‘the Kid', or, in some cases, trying to badger me into growing up faster than I was ready to.